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This is where legal guidance is more reliable than cake-eating triangulation, and that’s where I’ll get it formalized.
Right on! Don't ever rely fully on a fence sitting fool's words. Get it in writing! The sooner you can get the lawyer to draw up papers regarding CS, the better, as they will use her CURRENT income to substantiate the claim.
Oy, leaving her kids is going to get the best of her one day! What a miserable thing to do.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Regarding furniture that she purchased that still has a debt on it--it's hers. Period. So is the debt. Period. She can sell it or burn it or whatever she wants, but it's not yours and neither is the debt. Bye-bye!! (waving) It is much easier for you to go get, buy, or finance furniture in YOUR NAME that YOU want! Buy that manly, cowboy sleighbed now Crossroads. Heehee.
Regarding CS, if you are going to be primary custodial parent, then HECK YEAH!! Request CS!!! If she wants to run off with lover-boy she is STILL financially responsible for the children she created. If she chooses to leave her job to be with lover-boy, she is STILL financially responsible for her children! Finally, in my state in the Pacific NW, they use a parent's CURRENT income...or their ability to earn based on degrees/experience...or minimum wage, whichever is HIGHEST to calculate CS. Thus, if a parent is "voluntarily unemployed" to be with their lover, they would still be ordered to pay CS based on the minimum wage because my state believes that a PARENT has the ability to at least earn the minimum wage!!
CARRY ON, soldier. You are doin' good!!
--Master Sargent CJ
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Thank you Master Sergeant CJ!
HUAH! LOL!
Again, your words are very encouraging and I appreciate them.
Last night was not good. I fell off the wagon and we ended up having a good old fashioned verbal siege. I let loose in ways I shouldn’t have and had a rare lapse in self-control. I’ve been the grown-up, I’ve been the calm steady force but last night I let her push me over the top and I know better than that. She has been intentionally provocative and inflammatory and I took the bait. I feel bad for losing my cool, but I have to move on, get back on the wagon and deal with it. I just can’t get rid of her!
She picked up a small lamp and almost threw it. Wish she had because that would have been the magical third strike. It is not Happyville, that’s fo sho.
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You will find such serenity when she is gone. My WH and I didn't have too many arguments like that, but I did throw one of his cordless computer mice down HARD on the floor of our kitchen (after he went out to the garage) and smashed it to beautiful teensy pieces. I knew better than to start swingin at him. I would have been life Ralphie, from "A Christmas Story" when he was beatin the piss out of Scott Fargus (sp?), and he lost complete control of his sanity.
I don't know, but I think WH would have been pretty bloody. I'm not much for physical fighting, unleeeeeeess, someone throws the first punch...
In the case of domestic violence, I would report the WS right away, while they are in your presence, before they can escape the 'scene'...
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Serenity is a good word for it. I am at peace when she is NOT around and while I’m getting better about staying more even keeled more often, I still have that awkward aloof tension when she is around.
So this past weekend, we were going to go up and get the boys from the MIL/FIL. I was out on a trip that day and flew in from a different city and she was going to go directly from here. She ended up missing her flight. So I got there late Friday and got to see the boys again…fell asleep with a boy in each arm, and it was wonderful.
I was a bit apprehensive about the potential for awkwardness around her parents, but it wasn’t weird at all. In fact, her Dad and I talked again at length (I was rather guarded and didn’t disclose anything major) but we had a candid honest discussion. He has supported me through this and continues to do so. The reason I approached him was something that WW had said, which turned out to be false. Imagine that.
But I'm hanging in there...more to come...
This week will be interesting as we're probably going to break the news to the boys jointly.
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So now it’s going to get ugly.
She has now gone back on her original plan to move to Dallas and will be staying here in Houston. Her original idea was to move there to be with Roger Ramjet and then move back here. Evidently, either she or he aren’t as dumb as they seem to be because she realized that by leaving and then returning it would not reflect terribly well on her in efforts to get better custody arrangements.
And now by virtue of her staying her, she is INSISTING on joint physical custody instead of the previous agreement we struck.
Does anyone have any thoughts about this concept?
I’m not crazy about this idea at all. I told her I’m trying to keep an open mind about it, and have done some reading about it, but I still get the impression it’s tantamount to pinballing my kids around. Furthermore, this joint physical custody then mitigates or dissolves any request for child support, which she knew I was going to make, and actually costs far more because it’s tantamount to having TWO autonomous households. How stupid is that? It costs far more, the relative impact on each of us is greater, and I don’t like and am wholly uncomfortable with the idea of having Roger Ramjet involved as any semblance of a parenting figure to them.
This is a guy who is 14 years older than WW, 49, has never had kids, has never wanted kids, and now is suddenly going to be thrust into a role like this? Are you kidding me? And a guy who will move here presumably to be with her. Meanwhile, financially, she gets the best of both worlds, because she can’t financially support herself, so Roger Ramjet would ostensibly be bankrolling her. Meanwhile, by pushing for JPC, she is also trying to avert child support.
And she gets the best of the parenting world, and I pay the price in both aspects. I don’t want to sacrifice my children or my desire to be the primary residential custodian for them. She goes from giving me outright custody to now wanting 50% and being vehement about it. We cannot have a collaborative divorce proceeding if she is changing her mind on major issues like this.
I don’t want to drop the gloves, but it might be looming. I would hate to go to court, get ugly, spend far too much money that I don’t have and get downright nasty. But this might be why I made that fastidious documentation trail of her actions, saved emails, text messages, and so forth.
And now we’re splitting hairs even worse. I was syncing up my calendar with WW via email and sent some dates and such out with July 4: BBQ at so-and-so’s. WW responds “We can discuss that. I don’t think spending the day with a bunch of people drinking is in their best interest.” She also adds that she was planning on taking the boys to see fireworks. Uh-huh. Nevermind that’s the obvious family thing that evening and so forth and I too was planning on that. She said SHE was planning on taking them. Now it would appear as if she’s clearly fighting over the boys and their time. She has gone from virtually giving up the kids and skipping town to now saying she’s going to stay here and wants (will insist on, she says) joint physical custody.
I told her it’s a family BBQ that he’s having with a bunch of other people including families, dogs, apple pie, that kind of thing, kids invited. We’re not in college and it’s not a fraternity kegger for crying out loud. I won’t have every word parsed, every action analyzed and every little thing criticized. It’s getting nasty.
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I think it's time to take the gloves off, tell the children about the separation and get her out of the house. Put her things in a storage facility and hand her the key. She doens't want to be married, this is the marital home. She can live there if she wants to remain married. Be done with this.
It seems like it's going to be a fight whether you want it or not, unless YOU choose to give her all that she wants for the sake of quietness. Just do your best to shield the children. Go Plan B--get an intermediary--no screaming, no fighting, no communication directly with you. This will help to keep the house quiet. If you do not agree with 50% custody based on her track record, then protect those children. You only get one chance to do this right, only one.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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I think it's time to take the gloves off, tell the children about the separation and get her out of the house. Put her things in a storage facility and hand her the key. She doens't want to be married, this is the marital home. She can live there if she wants to remain married. Be done with this. HOW???? That's what I am going crazy about!! I can't get her out! Legally I can't prevent her from living there. And given the housing market, it's possible that the house might not sell for a while and she's stuck there. I have one other option that I'm trying follow up on, but it's a long shot. It seems like it's going to be a fight whether you want it or not, unless YOU choose to give her all that she wants for the sake of quietness. Just do your best to shield the children. Go Plan B--get an intermediary--no screaming, no fighting, no communication directly with you. This will help to keep the house quiet. If you do not agree with 50% custody based on her track record, then protect those children. You only get one chance to do this right, only one. I agree there...only one chance to do it right. And in order to do that, I might have to bring out the big guns.
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Bring the whole damned armored fleet; this is a fight, a war, and you may have to be the one to initiate battle.
I don't know what you can do, legally, to get her out. You can throw her out, and she will have to get a court order to move back in (ie, put her stuff in storage, give her the key, change the locks at your house, and set up visitation--never KEEP her from her children--set up an intermediary so that she will have to talk to you through them). Be careful about the kids, more than anything. I don't know what the divorce system is in your state, but mine requires a year long physical separation, prior to an uncontested divorce. You may have to file in order to get her out. Dont' use this until you are fully ready to accept the D.
I've always wondered about those stories I hear about people kicking their spouses out. If you were taken to court with all of the information that you have, I don't think a judge would allow her back in to the marital home, but stranger things have happened.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Oh, also, if you have family that will take you and your children in, then that is another option. You can put the house on the market and move out--kids and all, leaving her in the house. Just don't leave the kids. You may have to stay, no matter what.
In many cases, when the infidels move in together, it squashes all the romance, especially when you add the kids and mix. If this guy doens't want kids, his little romantic bubble is going to burst quite quickly. We all know how difficult it is to have children and maintain a healthy marriage, much less a lascivious, infidelious, relationship built on a barge of selfishness. It will sink.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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You know, one of my best friends told me that WW knows that the kids are my Kryptonite.
He's right. She's being manipulative of them and of the situation and I'm rolling with it in order to protect them, while I have avoided confrontation because I don't want to subject them to that kind of stuff.
But the time is coming when I can't contain it and won't be able to keep them from the ugly truth and the ugliness of the situation.
My friend also said that it appears WW would rather spend time with the boys then pay money not to. Also a hint of truth...
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How do you protect the kids? How do you handle a dual family role? I'm battling with the WW on custody and she still insists on joint phsyical custody. I'm making a last ditch effort. So the WW sends me a list of 29 items from this “Kids Bill of Rights”… There are many very good points in here, and I have no objection to it. Most are good common sense, but it’s nice to have a reinforcement of same. There are a few that might be irksome. For instance, with regard to #6, “Neither parent shall communicate moral judgments about the other parent to the child concerning the other parent's choice of values, lifestyle, choice of friends, successes or failures in life (career, financial, relational) or residential choice” that just bugged me. How do I bite my tongue about Roger Ramjet? I’m battling with that. “Um, yeah boys? That guy Roger Ramjet is a homewrecker and neither your WW have any integrity whatsoever.” I’m struggling with that internally a great deal. Does anyone have any thoughts on that matter? I know tearing down the authority of the other parent is never good, but I honestly and truly would have a difficult time biting my tongue. She is still pushing for joint physical custody, and I’ve slid into the firmly against camp on this. I read the pros and cons, and success and failure stories, but I think it’s rather ironic that every child counselor, every doctor, every so-called child expert always talks about how consistency and predictability is the most important thing for kids, but the very nature pinballs them around. Could you live in 2 places at once? With two sets of everything, moving stuff to and fro like a nomad? No way. And for two boys active in Scouts and such, how do you maintain any consistency by having them do 10 days on, 5 days off…?? Come on! 1. Neither parent shall deny the child reasonable use of the telephone to place and receive calls with the other parent and relatives.
2. Neither parent shall speak or write derogatory remarks about the other parent to the child, or engage in abusive, coarse or foul language, which can be overheard by the child whether or not the language involves the other parent.
3. Neither parent shall permit the children to overhear arguments, negotiations or other substantive discussions about legal or business dealings between the parents.
4. Neither parent shall physically or psychologically attempt to pressure, attempt to influence, pressure or influence the children concerning the personal opinion or position of the child concerning legal proceedings between the parents.
5. Each parent will permit the child to display photographs of the other parent or both parents in the child's room.
6. Neither parent shall communicate moral judgments about the other parent to the child concerning the other parent's choice of values, lifestyle, choice of friends, successes or failures in life (career, financial, relational) or residential choice.
7. The parents will acknowledge to the child that the child has two homes although the child may spend more time at one home than the other.
8. The parents shall cooperate to the greatest extent practicable in sharing time with the child.
9. Each parent will permit the child to retain, and allow easy access to, correspondence, greeting cards, and other written materials received from the other parent.
10. Each parent will respect the physical integrity of items possessed by the child which depict the other parent or remind the child of the other parent.
11. Neither parent will trivialize, or deny the existence of the other parent to the child.
12. Neither parent will interrogate the child about the other parent nor will either parent discourage comments by the child about the other parent.
13. Neither parent will intercept, "lose", derail, "forget" or otherwise interfere with communications to the child from the other parent.
14. Neither parent will refuse to acknowledge that the child can have or should have good experiences with the other parent.
15. Neither parent will directly or indirectly attack or criticize to the child the extended family of the other parent, the other parent's career, the living and travel arrangements of the other parent, or lawful activities of the other parent or associates of the other parent.
16. Neither parent will use the child as a "middleman" by using the child to communicate with the other parent on inappropriate topics.
17. Neither parent will undermine the other parent in the eyes of the child by engaging in the "circumstantial syndrome" which is done by manipulating, changing, or rearranging facts.
18. Neither parent will create for, or exaggerate to, the child differences between the parents.
19. Neither parent will say and do things with an eye to gaining the child as an "ally" against the other parent.
20. Neither parent will encourage or instruct the child to be disobedient to the other parent, stepparents, or relatives.
21. Neither parent will reward the child to act negatively toward the other parent.
22. Neither parent will try to make the child believe he or she loves the child more than the other parent, by, for example, saying that he or she loves the child more than the other parent or over-informing the child on adult topics or overindulging the child.
23. Neither parent will discuss child support issues with the child.
24. Neither parent will engage in judgmental, opinionated or negative commentary, physical inspections or interrogations once the child arrives from his/her other home.
25. Neither parent will "rewrite" or "re-script" facts which the child originally knows to be different.
26. Neither parent will punish the child physically or threaten such punishment in order to influence the child to adopt the parent's negative program, if any, against the other parent.
27. Neither parent will permit the child to be transported by a person who is intoxicated due to consumption of alcohol or illegal drugs.
28. Neither parent will smoke tobacco materials inside structures or vehicles occupied at the time by the child.
29. Each parent will permit the child to carry gifts, toys, clothing, and other items belonging to the child with him or her to the residence of the other parent or relatives or permit the child to take gifts, toys, clothing, and other items belonging to the child back to the residence of the other parent, as the case may be, to facilitate the child having with him or her objects, important to the child. The gifts, toys, clothing and other items belonging to the child referred to here mean items which are reasonable transportable and does not include pets (which the parents agree are impractical to move about).
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About the Kids Bill of Rights, DUH!
Of course you are going to do what is in the best interest of the children, and you are not going to speak ILL of the other parent. Nowhere in this list does it say that you are not truthful with the children. If and when they ask, you must be honest.
Is there any date in sight for your WW's big move? Is there a way to usher that along? Is she still taking weekends with Roger Ramjet? Can you move her things out on one of those weekends? I think it's time to put your foot down here Crossroads. For all intents and purposes, you are helping her cheat on you, and leave your children. Do you have documentation of each visit she takes with the other man, how much time is spent away from the children? If you are not legally separated, then this can be used against her, as abandonment. Even if your state doesn't do anything about it, making it public record doesn't help her much.
I think it's time to play hard ball. You don't need to include your kids in anything; just explain what is happening, and swiftly and precisely kick her a$$ out. It's time. If she wants things to go smoothly in the separation, and wants to keep things quiet, then she won't throw up a fuss. If she truly cares for the children, then no fuss will be made. She needs to understand that you will not put up with this. If she wants to cheat, get out and go do it, you do not support this.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Silent- Great to hear from you!
Yes, she was out of town to visit Roger Ramjet again this weekend- took off Friday early afternoon and returned Sunday afternoon. Believe me, I’ve got documentation left and right, every flight detailed, all circumstances accounted for.
I talked to my attorney. In TX, I can’t kick her butt to the curb. She is legally entitled to residence there. Unless there is domestic violence, which I’ve not heretofore pressed (stupid me) or there is child abuse, I would be legally out of bounds to kick her out.
The house will be listed tomorrow and then that journey begins. I’m living between heaven and ****** right now, more towards ******. How do you begin to wean off doing things as a family? How do you maintain two different lives under the same roof? How do you keep bad spirits away and negative feelings away? My hatred---and it is hate—is growing for Roger Ramjet by the day.
I’ve tried, I’ve battled, I’ve struggled with being the bigger man, being the better person and I need a reservoir of strength to draw upon right now. It’s tough. I am seriously struggling internally right now.
Here’s my game plan—let me know what you think here SL:
1) I’m making my last ditch effort for achieving primary residential custody. I’m doing this sincerely, calmly, and dispassionately, in a way to not provoke.
2) If I get it, we’ll agree to file together and finalize the rest of the our collaborative divorce agreement.
3) If I don’t, I’m filing ASAP and will push for custody. The provisions we’ve already agreed upon will be respected I’m sure, but it’s about the kids right now. And then the gloves come off.
4) In TX, there is a 60 day cooling off period, after which then decrees can be issued. If at the end of 60 days, she isn’t out of the house then, I imagine something will be done to externally effect that.
I want this done, but have to be deliberate—sometimes painfully so—in seeing it through.
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I have to be reminded of things, crossroads, so thanks for the update.
I think your game plan is solid, especially because you don't want to damage your chances for custody. I have to say that I don't think you are going to get her to agree to you having primary residential custody, as evidenced by her not giving in to that previously; her still fighting for shared custody in all repects. If you think that waiting is the right thing to do, then I will support you.
It sounds like you will have to wait however long it is before you file, and then 60 more days after the papers hit the courts. I also believe that you will have a fight on your hands, so prepare for that. I think, unless you give in to what your WW wants, you will have a fight.
About living under the same roof--have you told the children about the impending changes. I think it would be wise to do so NOW instead of later. I would talk to your WW, tell her that you believe it is time to tell the children, as you cannot fake this anymore, and give her a date that you are going to commence in said speech. I wouldn't give her much time, though. You need to be able to carry on with no secrets following you. Your children deserve the chance to ask you both candid questions regarding the NEW situation; the best time to do this is when she is still in the home, otherwise, you will be left to try and figure out what to tell them yourself. I was left to do most of the talking with my DS, because I was with him most of the time.
I'm sure it takes all that you have not to blow your stack every day. Funny thing for me, I never checked the laws before I made a move to kick WH out, I just did it (he also left without even a huff). Who knows what kind of trouble I could have been getting myself into; at the time, I didn't care. I was prepared to move my son and myself out of our house, and find our own apartment, than to stay with PWC under those conditions. It was too much for me.
At the time, PWC didn't seem to care much about his family, his son, and I did not make custody difficult for him. I would have preferred that DS and PWC had spent even more time together.
This must be that part of life that people refer to when they say that "life isn't fair". It sure as h3ll isn't.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Hey Xroads, do you think posting more often would bring you a wider network of answers? I've noticed that the more often someone posts, the more they build up a 'following'.
This may help you in the days to come, when things could become quite unstable.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Thanks SL…
We are telling the kids this week. I’ve pushed her to discuss a co-parenting plan but she has deferred every step of the way—more of the fog of the affair and her inability to confront reality. But the time is here. This week, no question.
I do fear this is going to end up in the hands of my attorney. I’ve got enough documentation to put a dent into any plea for joint physical custody and not just one or two emails, but a pattern of words and deeds that reinforce my claim. I’m hoping it doesn’t get to that point.
And yes, I imagine posting more would probably help my case. I was actually trying to re-title my thread, but couldn’t figure out how to do it. Most of this thread has been non-Plan B related anyhow, as I was still interested in reconciliation when I came here. I’ve just never been one to talk about a lot of personal stuff like that, and given my schedule, I don’t spend a lot of time online anyhow. Also, with WW still living under the same roof, it’s been tough to post more here, although I have struck up a few friendships.
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Well, I get what you mean by not talking about the personal stuff. This is probably true of many people here. Not so, of me; I'm a blabber mouth. I think everyone knew what I was going through since day one; I'm not one to keep secrets or to live 'close to the vest'. I just didn't see the point, for me. I LIVE OUT LOUD. Some people don't tolerate this well, but I found many people receptive and very helpful in my situation. I found out how many people I knew were touched by infidelity in one way or another. I got some great advice.
Hopefully, once the children know, you will be able to talk freely with them, and not worry so much about them feeling the tension and not understanding it. Children are very perceptive.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Thanks SL! Ha! Don’t get me wrong, I’m a totally gregarious person, I love to talk, and if anything, I talk too darn much as it is!! But I got burned and learned my lesson(s) so I’m a bit more guarded now. I post less not out of shame or reluctance but more out of a lack of time or finding the time to do it. With that said, developments turn faster here than I can keep track of. Just got an email from WW about the joint physical custody thing. Some excerpts: I think the common theme here is that the parents have to be willing to work together in the best interests of the children, and not let emotional involvement get in the way of what is truly important.
Moreover, I think studies show that the more intelligent the parents are, the more likely this type of arrangement is to work to the children’s benefit. We are both smart people…perhaps, as we’ve so often discussed in the past several months, we are too smart for our own good. I think it’s time that we use the brains in our heads and come to the realization that those boys DO need both of us, for different roles…different role models...and, like it or not, we are going to need each other in order to minimize emotional impact on them.
I don’t want them to ever think that I don’t love them or that I abandoned them, and I think that if you fight me for the custodial plan you seem to be pushing for, that’s exactly the feeling they’re going to get…that I somehow chose Roger Ramjet over them. I am not choosing anyone over them, and never will; I am simply choosing not to be with you.
Now, I’m sure you’ve been keeping meticulous records of every discussion we have and you think that, if it comes to a battle, you have the ammo to put me in my place. Just know that my record-keeping began in earnest on July 14, 2005. (Crossroads note: that was when she discovered my emotional affair via email and this downward slide began). That is not a threat, as I’m sure your first instinct is to insinuate; I’m just letting you know that I’m not stupid and I’m not defenseless. We can come to a mutually agreed-upon arrangement and make this transition as painless as possible for the DS8 and DS7, or we can fight…wasting time, wasting resources, and showing them exactly the type of people we don’t want them to be.
To say that you would be willing to allow me liberal visitation is implying that you have some power over me. Perhaps you did once hold some power over me…in the beginning, sure. I accepted your proposal of marriage with an open heart, a financially naïve mind, and made the promise to take the ride with you. It had its ups and downs, sure, but it was OUR ride…until you decided to give my seat to someone else.
I compromised my pride and my anger, biting back the tears AND my tongue, because I still believed in my heart that it truly was you and me against the world and that you were committed to doing whatever it took to get us through the storm. When it became apparent that your way of facing the storm was to ask me to just ignore it, hoping it would go away, I knew the ride was, indeed, over.
Now…there are two little passengers still strapped in to their seats. Are we going to be gentle with them and let them see that we can still be a family, albeit an altered one, or are we going to turn them into real-life versions of MythBusters’ Buster? I’m not willing to put them into that situation…and I hope you’re not, either. I’m sure we can sit down as adults and figure this out. If not, maybe mediation is the short-term answer. I don’t want to throw money at attorneys who have none of our best interests at heart.
Are you with me? I am at a loss to even try to translate this, quite frankly. It’s clear to me that she’s still living in the past, angry, resentful and hurting about what happened. And what she says is true- I didn’t do what I needed to do to save my marriage then. I totally admit it. I didn’t have my wake up call, I didn’t have the tools to save my marriage, I thought reaching out for help elsewhere would be a sign of weakness and “real life” got in the way, or that is to say, I let it. I didn’t think it was too late to save my marriage when I found out about her A, and proceeded down my Plan A and was reborn in many ways. Alas, we remain totally out of sync with this and when she wanted to try, I didn’t and vice versa. The difference is that I did something about it—something tangible, something real, she just talked about it to me but never did anything on her own. Please don’t take that to mean I blame her, quite the contrary. I think she on some level regrets not doing what I’ve done NOW, except back then. And now the situation with the kids and custody is taking a harsh and dangerous turn. OK, MB experts, read the palm of the WW and try to divine what she’s saying here…
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
Translation...Blah blah blah blah, your fault this is even occurring. Do whatever needs to be done, bend over backwards to make sure that MY actions (which are a remnant of the consequences of your EA) do not harm our sons. Oh, and BTW, don't try to slam me in court, 'cause I've got dirt on you.
Oh, she's rich, just RICH! Family? Seriously, WHAT FAMILY? How could she possibly see your situation as a familial one. Is she sure SHE'S smart?
Lawyers do not have your best interest at heart, nope, they got it in their wallet. They are there to fight for you, and earn some high dollars, when it is time to fight. She knows this and doesn't want that. That's okay. I never WANTED a fight either, but divorce is not for the faint of heart, so she may want to get some nitroglycerine pills.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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