Well, I called this morning and our new court date is September 14th...

I was talked to the para and she was saying that we need this time to get out subpoenas...

SO, we are T minus 45 days...

So, I think that my goal will be to be in the house before my birthday...Oct. 9th!! That would be all the birthday...

Sept. 8th will made 15 years that we were together....and Sept. 23rd will make six months into this D....

Rin,

You are going to have a MAH-VE-LOUS bday celebration in your house, I just know it!!!

Try not to let all of those dates trigger you into a downward spin. I know it is hard!

Friday is my wedding anniversary

Hey Rin!

Girl, you have WAY more patience than I do. Love that you're looking at the positives ... birthday in the house will be fabulous! Time for a HUGE celebration!

Glad you finally got a date. You seem to be doing great!

-AmI.

Hope you remember where you live!

Hi, guys! I appreicate all of the support....just got back from taking care of L's stuff...all set for school!

Those dates are not going to concer me at all! just another day...if we did special things on those days then perhaps it would trigger for me, but POWs made a point to screw them up too! So, I'll make a point to reclaim the days for me and the boys!

patience...AmI, this whole thing has taught me agreat deal on patience...what I see is it giving POWS PLENTY OF TIME TO HANG HIMSELF...I was thinking on the way back to work about witnesses and there's nothing that his lawyer can say that will make me an "unfit mother"...

I have too many things going for me...today and in the past...I just have to make the more of the time that I have left...and I have a full calendar with this board position, the kids, work, and this D...not to mention painting...

BOY, L's Dr. sure is awesome! What a hunk! Great eye candy today!

Talked to my mom too, she put some money in the mail to help with the boy's school supplies and also my boss is giving me a few dollars to help out too! So, like I said WE ARE ALL GOOD...

I know that POWS is holding back on CS to "hurt" us in some way, but he doesn't understand that we are great! My bills are paid, we have everything that we need...I have not ever had this much support in my whole life and no matter what he DOES, we have a better life now!

Okay, so who's planning the party? i want a pinata and I don't want candy in it! LMAO

WEll, let me get out of here, find some lunch and head to my Tues. meeting!

Thank you all! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hi, i called my lawyer to ask this question but i'm not sure when or if I'll get an answer...

So, here's the sitch and question:

I got a call from the mortgage company today...POWS only paid a portion of the mortgage note and they were calling to inform "us" that his check was on it's way back and the total due today...

They also mentioned that he did not return their calls, SOOOOO, I called POWS, clued him in...he said that it was taken care of...I said NO, your check is on the way back b/c it wasn't full payment! So, he asked for the number!

here's my question: I am moving into a position that will allow me to pay the full note on the 1st, verses him paying the note on the last day of the month... I'm sure that this will reflect to my advantage on the 14th in court...but that is the question...

Will this help me out?

This will mean that I can afford the note and all of my other bills regardless of POWS paying CS...

I am looking for some advise off the record on how to process with my financies...

Ooooo, finances. Not my thing. Trust me on this. I defer to someone who's more qualified. I don't know the answer.

Sorry...no idea how any of this will effect your divorce settlement.

Mr. Wondering

Rin,


Sorry I'm not a good one for the financial deal either. I take it that both of your names are on the mortgage? If so, then of course him not paying it and not paying in a timely manner CAN effect YOUR credit rating, which you certainly do not want to happen.

Frankly, other than a "fair" settlement of who paid what, the court (atleast in my case) doesn't care who has paid WHAT.

Now, that being said, the only advantage I could see to YOU paying this is that #1. You protect your credit. #2. IF you allow him to "be late" and then do the "good" think and pay it yourself, you show yourself to be the more responsible of the 2 of you (I know, like you need another way to show that! LOL!).

Yet, this now puts you in the position of having rescued POWS from his bad actions. If we are talking about a Sept 14th court date, you'd need to expect to have to pay July, Aug and Sept. IF you do this, then keep COPIES of your cancelled checks to show that you have paid this.

Bottom line,,,,,,,,,,, ask your lawyer for the best solid advise. Wow, what a long winded way to get to one line?! ha!

I can tell you, cancelled checks have become MY saving grace! I have checks going ALL the way back to prior to our wedding. Hard to argue with cold hard documents! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

No, don't pay the mortgage.
Call the lender and let them know what's going on, see if they will make a deal with you (to add the payment onto the end of the loan or something) but don't pay it. You don't want to look like you are rolling in dough.

"Look, your honor .... no CS this month, and not only did she do just fine, she even paid MY mortgage AND paid off the car. She doesn't need CS or spousal suport .... I might be the one who needs spousal support!"

That's my opinion, at least.

-AmI.

Rin-
I agree with AmI.
Call the mortgage co. and they are used to these types of things. They usually will work something out with you, or for you. It is better than the house go into foreclosure.

POWS= clod.

Tsk, tsk.

Well, I was just reading about your party, how about Snickers in the pinata? And how about throw a few bottles of Amaretto in there? Mmmm, fun!

LOL!

I am glad that you are doing well, YAY!

Thank you PM, and Mr. W for stopping by I appreciate you doing that for me....

BUGS, in my case, the court does care who pays what...POWs is going to be responsible to me for Rental reimbursement for living in the house all this time...he will have to pay me one half of the mortgage for each month that he has lived there...

Same thing with all the bills that i am paying, and he is paying...I have more of the responsible than he does and after I pay the bills there's not much room for groceries, gas, etc. (everyday stuff)

My para has told me to keep track of the things that I have been paying so I have a long list...POWS is going to owe me a crap lot...

Not to mention, they (the lawyers) have a copy of all my financial statements, they can see that there barely any room...

yes, we are both on the mortgage...One, POWS has to provide a place to live for the kids, easiest solution is the house...I'm trying to put myself in a position where the judge will be less inclined to force the sell of the house...this is why I'm trying to move into a position where I can afford the house on just what "I" make...

My bank statement are also saving my life right now, and I save EVERY receipt that I can...more proof that I have nothing to hide...

AmI- This mortgage company will not work with you AT ALL...if POWS didn't pay the mortgage yesterday, then the house is in foreclosure today...they are not willing to work with you...totally sucks...I did ask that they be patience will us during this time and I think that she was making notes on our account...

As far as the car, the loans up, it's not like I've been trying to do this on purpose, same thing with that other loan, it's just time...

We have done without b/c we haven't gotten CS...but it's not that "horrible", if that makes any sense...my lawyer is aware of our sitch...

POWS also makes more than I do, so him asking for alimony is crazy...even my Lawyer is wondering "where" his money is going since he's having problems paying the bills and CS...

Sadmo- Snickers are my favorite...but I go crazy eating them...last Halloween I got three bags after Halloween, you know they were on sale...well, i was waking up in the middle of the night and eating them...I went through three bags by myself in no time...

SOOOO, I have not allowed myself to eat any! I CAN HANDLE the Ameratto!We just can't have Beau and Chris around...french poodles, news anchors...peeing off mountains...I don't think that we would be safe! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well, I got a call on the way to way from POWS, my babysitter's BF called him my mistake, instead of me to say that she's sick today, and he's going to have to bring her to the dr.

POWS said that if I couldn't find anyone to let him know and he would take care of it...I told him I got it! SOOOO, the kids are here with me at work...i have to go to the warehouse in a little bit so they will be taggin along...

L said "Thank you mom, for bring us to work with you!" They LOVE coming to work! I might make a call later and see if I can get someone else to watch them, it really depends on their behavior and so far so good!

Well, thank you all for your thoughts and ideas...I will be talking to my lawyer about the finacial stuff really soon...

Snickers are my favorite. I like the Cadbury fruit and nut and the Caramello bars too.

For teh alcohol Vodka not amaretto.

Rin on things like this you should ask your lawyer and let him/her know that you would appreciate a quick response.

In some issues the questions may be general, in this it is specific and needs to be answered immediately and all you need to do is convey that to him.

If you have good credit and you can make the payment, make it.

It is easier to do that then fix your credit.

You are doing great!!!!!

Glad to see you moving on so well. Always knew you had it in you.

Morning Frog...I wasn't around yesterday b/c i had the boys here with me, sitter was sick and then my boss asked if I wanted to take a half day off, and bring the boys to the movies...

Sure, so she gave us movie to go...We watched "Meet the Robinson's"...AWESOME like movies...it was good! Then, I went to the craft store and got some canvas for us to paint on...

I drew an 18 wheeler with some mountains, a road, some birds, clouds, etc. for L to paint...simply for him...F wanted to paint his toy 18-wheeler, and I drew a simply chicken for me...

So all in all we had a good day! Sneak candy into the movies! LMAO...

On the mortgage, I know that my Lawyer is going to say to pay it, but I just want to make SURE...I don't want to screw up my credit...Lord knows that I'll need it! I think that the good thing about the sitch is that the rental reimbursement will almost cancel itself out with him being in it 6 months and then us...

That's a good thing!

Oh, and I appreciate you seeing that I'm moving on...it's been pretty easy TBH...

Also, I'm proud to say that i was elected Secretary for another group I'm involved with...the duties aren't bad, we only meet every other month...

I don't want to have TOOO much on my plate that i'm no good to anyone...especially with schol and religion classes starting again! I'm very proud though...and I'm sure that this will ALL look good on a resume!!LMAO...

Which I have plans to work on today...it's up to date, except for the volunteer work...just have to reformat it, and revisit my cover letter...

I got some tips from a great sight for women...called women work...

Anyway, I appreciate the confidence...I guess things are still going as well as expected on the home front?

I just thought about it, I'm going to have to ask if PWOs is going to be responsible for some of the expenses I have incurred as a result of not being able to get into the house...ie., clothes, TV, DVD player, Toys, etc...

Boy, that would be nice! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Rin,

I can tell you make sure your credit stays good at all costs.

I fell back a little on being debt free because I had to get another car for myself.

I paid cash so no payments but I ended up paying 7k for it with my trade in. I got a great deal but a little more then I wanted to spend. The reason I paid cash is our credit is still messed up some. So by the time I by something it costs so much more becuase of the interest rate.

Most eveything is coming off my credit report but it takes a longggggggg time and a lot of effort. So if you can keep it from going on it in the first place that is your best bet.

Now on all the great things going on I am happy for you but just remember in a few months you will have the responsibility of the house again.

Upkeep, fixing etc. Keep that in mind when you take this stuff on. LOL.

What do you mean sneaking candy in. I bring a back pack full of junk. Bags of Microwaved pop corn include.

5 stinking bucks for candy my little white butt. I pay 99 cents for mine.

EXACTLY!!! (on the movie stuff)

All we bought was a drink for the three of us to share!

Well, i've got some shopping to do...got the money from my mom today and she sent double the amount..>WOOHOOOO!!!

Got to love mom's...so, I'll finish getting supplies, their uniforms, and take care of F's religion class fees...and I'll probably throw in a haircut for mom while I'm at it...this will finish out what i need to do for them!

As far as the credit thing, that's a HUGE thing for me...a have a few late payment but that's it and I would like to keep it that way...and those late payments are from [email]POWS...@ss![/email]

I could curse him so bad, but it's really a waste of energy! besides, i'd rather laugh at him anyway!

You really bring a back pack????? I might have to bring my own popcorn next time! LMAO

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Heck yes we bring a back pack.

We stop by a store where they have candy for cheap. I get a big bad of licorice, usually red vines, some snow caps, and some mike and ikes for me, each of the boys gets 2 things then we microwave up 2 bags of popcorn and stick them in the big plastic storage bags. A couple bottles of water then in the back pack.

The late payments may not be on your credit report unless they are really late and you may get them removed from yours by saying they were his responsibility.

I had a few things come off mine simply because the creditor didn't respond in time to the Credit reporting agencies.

I know it is working because I have been getting credit card offers up the wazoo.

I am going to have to apply and get one soon but I hate having credit cards.

My Favorite!!!! I can eat two pounds by myself!!! We do stop at the store and get the cheap candy! AND, I DO let the boys get two things a piece! BOY< GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!!!! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


I just checked it today, I think there are two accounts...how do i do that, wouldn't I have to have the settlement first???

I would wait until the D is final and all things are seperate.

If you have two late payments on YOUR credit then you can write the credit reporting agency, equifax, experian and or transunion whoever they reported to and dispute it.

I did mine online. You can go to the free anual cerdit report page and dispute them.

For late payment I got very few that responded. As long as you are in good standing now they don't care.

You can dispute by saying "this should not be posted as late on my credit because that bill is/was my ex husbands bill." Or something to the effect.

The smaller the company the more likely it is to come off.



Again they just may not even respond.

On two of mine i put "these are not mine" they came off. LOL.