LMAO...You guys are funny...most of the time that little light indicates the 02 sensor is bad and you can drive the car without hurting it...$343 later...my car is purring again...

I'm so excited...no weird noises and she started right up...this sensor regulates the fuel and air mixture, she was missing...

Can you tell I did some research...just a little...being JOAT (Jill of all trades) comes in handy!!! LMAO

Thanks again for that one IAPBS!!!! LMAO

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

WEll, board meeting tonight, I'll be official!

OH, and I got a call today for an interview for a grant writer position! LMAO Funny!

I could have.

The mechanics point was. Say the light is on because you need an o2 sensor. You decide to just leave it.

The something really goes wrong that will damage your car. You will never know.

He had me with that logic.

LG I ended up going really cheap. I ordered it online then paid someone to install it.

Instead of 900 it cost me 200.

It was louder but oh well.

And I can't go with straight pipes here. I live in So cal we have some tough smog laws and they won't even think to pass a car with no muffler and they check.

Congrats on the board position! They are very fortunate to have such an enthusiastic new member!

And good luck on the interview...keep us posted on that one.

Yay!

Hi, SiS! THank you very much, just got home! It was interesting...I'm in charge of advertising! Hurray! It's not something that I have a whole lot of experience in but it's something that I have done for my job and I've dealt with these people before! So, it's easy...

On the grant writing position, Thank you for that too, I'm shocked that I have no experience and they ACTUALLY wanted to talk to me! I hope that the pay is up to par to what I'm doing now...oh, the interview will be sometime in the early part of next week...

Well, i have to go check on teh kids and make sure that they are actually getting in bed! LOL

Well, I had to stop my thinking last night, on the way home we passed in front on the house, and when I do have to I usually don't look. Well, F said as we went by last night, "We passed our house!"

Well, my head flew around and I looked, POWS wasn't home, and that started me thinking all kinds of things....it was a real effort to not think about that and the three of us living where we are. Especially since I got the electricity bill yesterday and it's $189 with no one living there...he's got everything running, lights on in the garage, AC, and whatever else and HE'S not living there!

That's soooo crappy!!! POWS will be there this weekend, he suppose to get the boys...and it wasn't just that...L started coughing, breathing treatment time, so I'm having to sent that and the meds.

So, after great effort, I'm still up, it's just time for things to change...28 days remaining to court...it will be six months that POWS has been served by the time we get to court...How sucky is that?

Rin,

How about we trade court dates? Mine is Monday, you can have that and I'll take yours in 28 days???

Hang in there sweetie!

Sounds great!! I take it you are not looking forward to it?

I have to figure out something to do this weekend...

Oh, I have to share what my mechanic said: "You know you can come around when you don't have a problem!"

LOL...I'm going to go this afternoon and pay him some...I'm so happy, my car starts right up, not hestitation, runs smooth, and when I get down on it, not horrible noise!!!! Hurray! That really cuts down on some fear, LMAO...

Tomorrow, I have some rummage sale stuff to do...collection more STUFF!!! I'm not looking forward to it, it's SOOO hot...and the humidity IS NOT HELPING!!!!

Well, I appreciate you stopping by... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well, Surprise, Surprise! I just got back from my attorney's office, they called and said that POWS's attorney just sent over a check for two months of CS!

I'm shocked and now I get to pay off the repairs on my car all at once!! So, that's a good thing!!

A little relief! I also asked about the title to my car and para said would talk to my attorney about it! There's some complications with it!

Hey Strivin! Doing good - receiving blessings in timeliness.

Have you been back to Elly's thread on E/N? I posted a link to a story she needs to read. Have you read it?

Morning, no I haven't, I haven't been on to many threads here lately...I'll check it out! I'm doing my best to keep my sanity! LMAO

It's been a long road!

I hope that you are doing well! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

WH spotted at nice restuarant with three women, two kids, and a male! WH picked up the check for eveyone, and I was told that these people looked ratty!

So, not like me, he's downgrading!

I've got confirmation of what I thought was going on! So, be it!

Rin,

Confirmation of what? That he eats lunch?
You're making assumptions, girl. And it's about stuff that doesn't really matter, anyway.

Who knows what was going on. Maybe he has had a sudden conversion and belives in feeding the homeless .... Maybe the "ratty looking" people just helped him finish re-doing the inside of the house, so he was taking them to lunch to thank them .... Maybe he won the lottery, and that's why he was able to pay the CS, and take a bunch of friends out to lunch to celebrate all in the same week ....

All unlikely, but all possible. And it doesn't make a difference anyway, does it? It has nothing to do with you, or the boys.

So quit trying to figure out what's going on with him, and get your focus back on you! The you who has an interview next week for a job that you never would have even dreamed of not so long ago .... the you that just got appointed to a very cool position on a board that neded your valuable experience and contributions. The you who now gets to completely pay off the cute mechanic with the nice eyes who thinks you should come over more often -- even when there's nothing wrong with the car (I'm assuming the cute mechanic is single?).

Those are much more interesting things to think about than who went to lunch with who. Who cares about that.....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

-AmI.

blowing his money...I don't have time to post longer I have to run an errand for the company, will be back...

I hear you!

Hiya Rin! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I agree with AmIok,you've got way better things going on. Don't get stuck w/ any stinkin' thinkin'. You've got good things in your future.

Hey, I'm back...I don't know if I can explain this and get my point across...I'm not worried about what POWS does HIMSELF...but if it affects the kids then I am...

From the way it sounds these are the people that the kids were telling me about last time they went over there...they were all drinking...

If they are ratty like this person tells me then I'm wondering if he back into drugs...he did it from time to time and this is something I will not allow if I can to affect my kids...

BIL is into drugs too...child endangerment, alcohol, and I'm thinking drugs...now I know it's hard to prove a parent unfit, and the way it stands now, i don't have to worry about the custody thing...it's just trying to protect them as much as i can...

That's all, no big deal...POWS can drink himself into a comma for all I care...

Here I am doing the best I can with what I have...moving forward and STRIVN4BETTER...

It will all work out in the long run...the bills WILL get paid, and the kids will be FINE, and I'm doing GOOD...

Better? How'd I do?

Miss U ChaCHa... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And thank you both...not interested in mechanic...just nice eyes to look at...

Hi KA, I wanted to thank you for the story...it was great...

I saw myself...that story's worse than mine...and it was difficult to see by bits in it but there were there...thinking my story wasn't as bad as someone else's...

Just wanted to say thank you...I don't know what else I want to say...it actually made me sad...

I remember sitting in group therapy for adult children of alcoholics thinking how my situation was never that dark or abusive... Until I see in my memories that I ignored, minimized, etc. of my father's expression as blood ran down his forehead after Mom smacked him with the pancake turner while he was beating her up because breakfast wasn't on the table - all us kids sitting at the table frozen... or the times my dad and my brother got into it and my dad put his elbow through the glass shower door as he wound up to take a swing at my brother (sure took the momentum out of that swing), and I ran and hid out in the cornfields or the cars to get away from the sounds that always led to violence.

I could draw my own book. And you would probably say that yours wasn't nearly so bad... until you draw your own pictures and let someone else read it like you did here last year.

Like I told you then - the creep factor was sky high then - and no less now. Document; get the info to your attorney and go for supervised visitation by the time the dust settles on this divorce in March. You should have required drug and alcohol screening for both of you (just to show you're fair) but don't let those little boys grow up with "Brian", while you're not there to protect them; k? (It's the main reason my mother never left my dad, so she said - because she would have less control over how he treated the kids apart.

Your STBX is giving you all the info you need to set it up so you don't have to worry about this.

Did I ever recommend you read "Topie" - her story? I'll see if I can find it.

I thought about the drug testing today, asking for it and also doing it myself...THe court would have to determine supervised visitation...I will talk to my attorney and let him know what I'm thinking...

I see where your mom is coming from...I don't know who they are around, or what they are doing...and that bothers me...

POWS didn't get the opportunity to hit me, when I read the story I was trying to think about the comments and how things changed...I remember him always on me about me clothes...and wanting me to not wear a bra, but that was uncomfortable for me and I let him raise ****** about it...

He got mad with me when I stopped smoking...would let me that I needed to go smoke one...I didn't...then I remember another night that he was working nights and he told me to go home and drink a beer...I said I might, then the next morning he asked about it and I said that I didn't...

HE said and WHY not? I just said that I didn't feel like it...it was the pressure that I felt was coming from him...I got to the point years ago that I felt like he wanted me high all the time and it wasn't working for me...

Then, right after I quit, hummmm...a week or two later, we went to the park to met some friends and they were smoking, POWS declined and said that I could and I asked him if he had forgotten that I had quit...he just looked at me...

This was all way before I knew about the A...05' actually...I felt uncomfortable around people like that...POWS didn't grow up in the alcohol and drugs like I did...it wasn't until he hit college...

I learned my lessons IN college and it was a no-no for me...it wasn't something that I wanted to control my life...recreation, then it got less and less as I grew up...

POWS isn't from here, I grew up here, and we are littered with bars...alcoholism is part of life here...drinking is not something that I do often, and doesn't bother me...I've seen too many people destroy their lives...with that and drugs...I want better for me and for my kids...

I see alot of emotional, subtle remarks...and I remember some pretty damaging ones, I remember him using the kids against me once...I didn't want to leave for a hurricane and he wanted too...he said if something happen to them then it would be on my head...we left...and didn't talk about it for two days while we were gone...I was right, the hurricane didn't come our way...that was the worst fight we ever got into and I refused to do it again...and we didn't...didn't matter if we had the money to leave or not, we used bill money and I had to juggle the bills when we got back...

I was so insecure about not having the money to pay the bills that when we got any extra, I would hurry up and try to pay something off or heck just pay them because it I didn't he would spent it on some toy he wanted or create another bill or blow it on eating out...

He always had to have cash in his pocket, usually 40 dollars, and that came first, before the bills...if wasn't me saying I don't have the money to give to you this week b/c I have to pay whatever...I didn't carry any cash until the end...and I told him, well, I'm going to start...and I did, I was trying to save money to leave...didn't work...

There was another night right after he got his bonus, which he spent on his bike, and my car needed repair, where he said if you need some money just ask...I asked and he said to remind him in the morning orsomething, whatever the reason I didn't get it that night...so I did and he asked me if I really needed it, he gave it to me but was real hestitate...I started thinking that he wanted to keep us poor...

We were over our heads with bills from my POV, and he wanted to buy a camper before the end of MArch...another reason why I chose to leave when I did, I didn't want that bill...

Then, by the time I left, he had already burned my books, tried tracking my down, came to my work I don't know how many times, stood in front of me several times with his huge arms folded, just looking at me...wouldn't let me leave for a cooling off period several times...would tell me all the time that I could pack my [censored] and leave but just me...no boys...so I stayed...

I kept thinking that things would get better, I didn't get married to get Divorced, God doesn't like DIvorce, and when he cleared the table and everything went flying across the room breaking the glass and my oldest started crying at teh top of his lungs from the back room...it hit me something's not right and I started researching DV...reading everythign that I could...

it was really hard to come to terms with what COULD COME NEXT...and that was him hitting me b/c he was losing control over me, I was waking up...

But I still find myself thinkign about how much I miss him, and telling myself that it would be easier to go back...but that's just me thinking, not acting...that's where I was before reading about "Brian" and it made me sad...

I need to be reminded from time to time of the things that happened, it keeps my head screwed on straight...

Just my thinking but look at the CS, he's controlling the sitch...why not give me one month at a time...he said that he didn't have it, then all of a sudden he has it...it's the double messages again...

It's like him saying We'll go to the movie on this date and when this date comes well, he's too tired...or whatever reason he comes up with...

Alot of times I still question if this was abuse or if it's all IN MY HEAD...am "I" making it up?

It's SOOO hard to focus on me sometimes...oh, last night I prayed and prayed and prayed...just asking God to help me change my thinking...thanking him for certain people, things...Oh, I prayed so hard and then today...money from POWS...

It's confusing is what it is...I'm just doing the best I can with what I have now...living to the best of my ability...it's hard...I imagine that it will get easier with time...something I can't figure out what to do with myself, like today...I need to eat but I don't feel like it...I thought about what I might want to eat and it's just not coming to me...same thing with movies...I got home and no one was here, so I thought I'll go rent or buy some movies...couldn't find anything I wanted to watch, gave up, and came home to watch some tv and lay in bed...

At least tomorrow I'll have something to do most of the day...I'm not going to stay in this funk, I just think it's grieveing...it wasn't all bad all the time...I miss the good person...not the one telling me that our friends don't come over b/c of me...

That why for the time being I chose not to remember the good stuff...I know I can't go back but still wish for it...crazy huh?

Well, I treated myself tonight to my FIRST MANI, PEDI AND got my eyebrows done...

I've been wanting to do it and tonight was the night...I worked hard all day in the heat and sweated my hinnie off, LMAO or at least five pounds worth of it...and tomorrow we will be back at it...

Since I had the extra, I went for it...it was cool...also tlaked to my mom and she said that I should at LEAST treat myself to a mani every two weekend...I told her I may be able to swing that...

It's been a long but good day...tomorrow we have to be at a local church for two, they were having a rummage sale and we asked for their leftovers...and we're getting them...LOL...I hope they sold a large portion of it...a gym FULL of stuff...we'll be working on that stuff for a while...we're still trying to finish with the stuff that I picked up two weeks ago...

Good thing, we're not accepting any more clothes, and this church is donating ALL the clothes and shoes to another charity...WONDERFUL...that IS SOOOO time consuming...

WEll, I was reading earlier and was falling asleep so I guess I head to bed...You know that's one thing I can say that's better...when I first got here I was up until one/two in the morning and the past few weeks, I've been going to bed at 9:30/ ten o'clock...still wake up alot at night, but getting more rest now...

I guess I am starting to take better care of myself...I still have alot of stuff to work on with my thinking...like from my previous post, which I would like some insight on or at least some comments...I think that would really help...or at least would be nice...perhap some validation...

Well, good night...I'll be praying for you all...take care and thank you for everything!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Good for you Rin. So glad you are taking care of yourself and rewarding yourself for some well done hard work.