I have a problem and I'm hoping you vets will help

A little background: Was with XBF for 2.5 years, thought we'd get married (we talked about it frequently) and lived with him for 1.5 years. In Sept 07 he walked out because of money & responsibility. He wants money, but with no bills, mortgage or strings. He spends like wildfire and his "dream" is to be a pro poker player so all his cash was going to gambling. I prefer to take care of responsibility first, save, invest then spend.

I strongly suspect he had an EA with someone he knew through work in 7/06 but could not prove it. I also KNOW he had an EA just before he moved out with another women he knew from work. He had all the classic ILYBANILWY, fog-speak, "we're just friends" symptoms, but cell records said otherwise. Her kids were even buying him stuff. And just friends? Yeah, right.

My XBF moved out September 15th and in with his parents. He says he's paying them rent, but I know his mom. She wouldn't take a dime. He said he would stay with them till the end of 2007 then find a place. In the meantime, he left his furniture and some clothes at my place, which at the time was fine since I wouldn't have to quickly replace things. The only significant piece of furniture he took were his two poker tables.

Fast forward to now. I've asked him to move his stuff out. The days of free storage are over! I asked in the beginning of February to move it and he asked two weeks. Fine, deadline is 2/18. He then said he can't get help until 2/23, I told him that was the final. Since I asked this, he has turned cold and avoids me like the plague.

Now, I'm trying to get him to confirm the moving times for several reasons and he will NOT communicate at all. No return email, no return text, nothing. I'm ready to haul it all away, but I don't feel I should spend the time or money to do so.

I already threatened to call his parents which spurred him to some action because he has to keep up his image that he's responsible and a good person. But now he's avoiding the whole issue #1 because he knows how much it frustrates me and #2 he's hoping I'll change my mind. I will not.

He's the type of person who avoids difficult situations and anything that involves extra effort on his part. I'm very frustrated and not sure what to do.

Vets, please help me!!

If he doesn't move his stuff on the specified date, pack it up yourself and take it to the Salvation Army. Send him an email stating this is what you intend to do and don't wait for a response. Just do it.

My co-worker said that a local charity, Deseret Industries, will pick it up. I'll look into it.

Problem is, if I do it, I'd have to rent a truck. I drive a tiny little car and am on a very tight budget. I know that sounds like an excuse, however any small extra bill throws my budget into a tailspin.

Salvation army or other similar charities will pick up donations.

I would send him a registered letter (request a return receipt to prove he received it.) The letter should state specifics...

1. a list of items
2. how and when you ended up with these items
3. previous agreements made to pick up items that have lapsed.

In the second paragraph write, "Please be informed that I can no longer store items listed above and you have 30 days to remove these items from my place of residence (list the address of your residence). After 30 days these items will be donated to charity."

Next list times and methods he can contact you (phone/mail e-mail) to make an appointment to collect his items. Make sure you state that he should contact you only to make a "pick-up appointment" When and if he does contact you, keep careful records...copies of e-mails etc.

After thirty days donate items.

When and if you do donate his items to charity, have the person collecting the items sign a copy of a list of items donated.

Legally he can take you to small claims court if you get rid of his stuff without doing all this.

Thank you. That's a great idea. I just hate having to hold on another 30 days, but if this is the best legal way to go, that's what I should do.

I wouldn't give his stuff away. It's his stuff and you giving it away could make you responsible for replacing it if your ex objects. What I would do would be to wait for the deadline to pass and then put all his stuff out at the curb. He'll either come by and get it, some stranger will get it or the garbage man will pick it up come garbage day. If you don't live in a house with curb side trash collection simply take the stuff to where you dispose of your garbage and stack it all there neatly (beside the dumpster, etc.). Let him know via text or voice mail when you do this so that he has a chance to pick it up.

Hey everyone!

He's moving it all out 3/1. He rented a place, even showed it to me (I guess as proof?? LOL). In any case, it's gone in a week. Whoopie!

If the move does not take place, I'll go back to my original plan.

And, if he doesn't, find someone to help you. Load it into a truck and drive it to where he lives. And dump it in the middle of the driveway and leave. Hmmm, wouldn't be very nice but ......