Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#2026021 02/24/08 07:23 PM
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,416
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,416
Quote
In fact, nutchecked, the more likely reaction will not be empathy, but resentment at the recognition that Brooke KNEW how traumatic and cruel it is. Therefore, she can't claim ignorance of its effect on her victim.

That awareness won't engender empathy, but increased resentment, I suspect. She not only knew how devastating it is, but compounded the crime by doing it with his so-called "friend."

One of the reasons many BSs don't commit adultery is because they DO KNOW how traumatic it is.

ML, i wanted to take this off of Brookes thread. if you want to debate with nutchecked, consider doing it here instead, or call him/her out on your own.

please also consider re-reading your post and consider how hard those words you wrote might be for Brooke to hear right now. especially the bold parts. i'm not wanting to debate your words with you. you are free to say as you wish.

however as a fellow poster, i wanted to ask you to consider her feelings right now. She did a very brave and terribly hard thing. do you really want to risk hurting her right now?

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
FLTH, thanks for your unsolicted advice, but I am quite content with my post on Brooke's thread and don't feel the need to reconsider anything. My words are TRUE and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. I have no intention of withholding the truth to appease anyone; that is dysfunctional and not my style. If you are offended by the truth, then your problem is with the truth, not me.
I am not so much concerned about Brooke's feelings, but rather those of her victim, the man whose life she just destroyed with the news of her cruel betrayal.

That is where HER focus should be, don't you think?

I think it is very ODD and inappropriate to concern yourself with the potential hurt feelings of the perpetrator in the face of this man's devastation. He has just been dealt a blow as traumatic as the death of a child or a RAPE, so excuse me if I find it a little ridiculous to focus on Brooke's potential hurt feelings. But that is your prerogative. It won't be mine. Be very assured of that.

As a fellow poster, I would caution you against the folly of telling other posters how and what to post. By doing so, you appoint yourself the arbiter of posting style and content, and I dare think others, including myself, believe OURSELVES to be the arbiters of our own posts. You might want to reconsider the wisdom of doing that. And if you have a problem with my posts, either realize it is your personal problem and deal with it personally or notify the mods.

Thanks for your understanding. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2026023 02/24/08 08:37 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
p.s. FLTH, if you disagree with my points, then why not make your case? That would make much more sense than trying to assert that I shouldn't have a RIGHT to express my opinions the same as you. I do not agree with your approach on Brooke's thread, but I would never be so arrogant to demand I have the right to demand you post elsewhere because I don't like the content. sheesh... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2026024 02/24/08 08:54 PM
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 614
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 614
FLTH,

I'm sorry to disagree, but I think what Melody posted was spot on. Nutcheck has no business offering advice in such a difficult situation after posting just 3 times. He/She obviously doesn't even have a basic grasp of the MB priciples. Melody would have been warranted in a much firmer rebutal than the one she delivered. I almost posted it myself but Melody beat me to it.

Want2Stay


BS-me 36
FWW-34
DS-7 & DS-3
PA - 7/06-8/06
EA - 6/06-1/07
D-Day: wife confessed 2-17-07, suspected 8-02-06
Broke NC: 2-19-07, 3-24-07, 5/07
My Story
My Wife's Story
---------------------
Healing one day at a time.....
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,816
J
Administrator
Member
Offline
Administrator
Member
J
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,816
IF you disagree with a post, find it offensive or in violation of TOS PLEASE click on your Moderator alert or email your mods listed at the bottom of each forum.

DO NOT start a "call out" thread to criticize or critique another poster.

Any questions--------email me.


JustUss

Administrator/Moderator

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (NewEveryDay), 1,357 guests, and 77 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5