South Carolina Common Law Marriage on its last leg

I always thought that the determining factor was length of time.

It appears that all it takes is a judge to give it a 'yea verily' and it's a done deal.

They do use a list though...

A woman takes the surname of the man with whom she lives ( Must be doing this "informally" because you can't even change your name on anything unless you show that marriage certificate)

The couple refers to their marriage in conversations with other people, such as friends, family, and co-workers; (both parties or just one?)

The couple files joint tax returns for federal or state income tax purposes; (not gonna happen because the social security number will kick out if she tries to use his last name as hers...so maybe she just retains her last name...but that makes the first item on this list null)

The couple lists each other as spouses on insurance forms and retirement plans; (again...not gonna happen until you show "proof of marriage"...as in certificate.)

The couple has joint checking and savings accounts; and the couple holds property as joint tenants. (this might be the only thing that is easy to do...and the dumbest thing to do without benefit of marriage)

I guess it makes me wonder WHY anyone would place themselves in such a tenuous position.

I can't even imagine bringing children into a relationship like that either.

What is so awful about getting married that it is avoided?

When it goes down the pipes, a claim of common law "marriage" is quick to come to the front.

It isn't any big trouble to get "married"...the trouble starts when one person in the relationship decides to go their separate way.

People don't want to be locked in legally....they just want something legal to be done when it breaks up.

There is a reason that marriage takes place...a LEGALLY binding reason.

It isn't all about the relationship...a show of love...a public declaration...

it is LEGALLY BINDING.

Why avoid that?

Any other views?

committed

Common law marriage is legally binding. That's the point. It is a legal, valid, recognized marriage, but rather than having been legitimized by the couple having obtained a license and recording the license with the appropriate state authority, the marriage is legitimized through public acceptance of its existence.

Remember that it is only relatively recently that the majority of people have had easy access to government offices. It's a simple matter of getting in the car or maybe taking a bus or train to the local courthouse, hall of records, etc., and picking up your license to marry. Now. Not so 100 or more years ago, when for many people a trip to the county seat could take days or more. Marriage by common law promoted marriage and families by allowing people to "get married" by proclaiming themselves to be married.

As for the tax returns - I use my birth name for professional purposes and I've never changed my Social Security record, so my husband and I file joint tax returns with two different last names. But I use my last name as a middle name and his last name as the family name for "family" purposes, such as filling out forms for school. I have credit with both names. It isn't that hard.

In only 10 states....unlike a licensed marriage being legally binding in ALL 50 states.

When I took my husband's name, I had to present a marriage certificate to the DMV, the social security office, the bank, and credit card companies before they would issue new cards or change my name on them.

I mention this because it the first thing listed on the first thread..."taking the surname of the man with whom she lives".

You can't just change your name without going through the proper legal channels...how can someone just take the man's name and start using it without showing some type of "proof" of the name change? I was asked for that proof in the form of a marriage certificate.

When you first file jointly, does the IRS not ask for some type of proof of relationship? I could file jointly with anyone for that matter...and defraud the government out of a good chunk of change. Filing single isn't wallet friendly. The first year that I filed jointly with my H, I had to send a copy of the marriage certificate to them. The year that he died, I had to send a copy of the death certificate when I filed. They want documentation of everything...or at least they did 25 years ago. Maybe it isn't like that anymore.

committed

I never said common law marriage is recognized in every state. It isn't. As you point out, only 10 still provide for common law marriage. However, if a common law marriage is established in a state that provides for it, the other states recognize that marriage as legal under the full faith and credit clause of the Constitution.

Think of it this way. Suppose couple A gets married in a state that doesn't require a blood test to obtain a license, and they move to a state that does. Their marriage isn't invalidated simply because they couldn't have gotten married in their new state without a blood test. Similarly, a couple who establishes a common law marriage in a state where it's legal doesn't invalidate their marriage by moving to a non-common law marriage state.

And no, the IRS doesn't ask for proof of marriage. The IRS mostly operates on the honor system. You may have been asked for your marriage license if your Social Security name change hadn't caught up with the IRS computers when you filed that first return and the new name didn't match the name they had with your number.

No, I was asked for it because I had taken my husband's surname and had not notified social security of the name change. The IRS requested the marriage certificate because I was using his last name and my social security number showed a different last name.

Had I taken care of the name change with the social security office BEFORE filing it would have been ok. Regardless, I still HAD to have that marriage certificate before they would change my name at the social security office.

If it is a common law marriage what "proof" does a person give if they do want to change their name with the social security administration?

Maybe a simple statement huh?

There might have been many obstacles to it years ago but they surely don't apply now. It is probably one of the easiest and quickest (think Vegas) things people can do nowadays.

Why are people hesitant and reluctant to do it?

committed

Some people don't consider themselves "married" unless they have a church wedding. Some people have to be married in a specific church with the right ceremony or it doesn't count. Legally, in the US a religious marriage means nothing without a license from the state (unless -- hey! you live in a state that recognizes common law marriage!). What's the difference why people opt for one form of legal marriage over another?

And I have to point out, you are assuming that people who opt for common law marriage do so because they don't want to be committed to each other, or want something less permanent than what you believe is legitimate marriage. I don't think you can make that assumption. People who live in states that recognize common law marriage are more likely to be aware of the consequences of "holding out" as married and not casually refer to each other as husband and wife, share a family name, and so on, unless it's their intention to be married.

Because of uniformity. Because of the need for records.

Because there is NO margin for error when it is on file.

Same sex couples would give anything to be allowed this option...to actually get a LICENSE to be married.

I simply don't understand it I guess.

committed

Having gone through this separation and the pending divorce, I'd switch the question around and ask, why bother getting married? PIA wedding plans, in-laws, etc., for what? It certainly
doesn't grant you any special privileges of any sort. WSTBX still managed to cheat on me and leave without so much as consulting with me. He still gets half of everything, despite him being the one who broke the marriage "contract".

Common law is recognized where I live and offers everything that was mentioned above. But you don't even need to be common law for most of that stuff. You can pay a fee and change your name. You can put anyone you want as a beneficiary for your insurance, estate, will, pensions, whatever. Some guy left all his money to his cat once. They've changed the tax laws so nobody benefits whether you are married or not so it doesn't matter if you file together or separately. Paternity tests are available to ensure the father of your child pays CS whether or not you are married.

The only reason left to get married is to say and hear those vows. But they obviously mean very little to people nowadays so I ask again, why bother?