I don't think so Mr. W. I think it is mommy dearest that will owe the apology.

I actually find you writing that letter to be a bit "off".

She'll need to apologize too, particularly for exposing her son to this man and allowing him to suckle Anthony to his breast among the obvious other things. They've made quite a mess of things and fortunately Julia's got a heroic husband who has stood by her side and undertaken to set this situation right for all of them. If you read her depositions, she has strong indications of a repentent heart and she is standing by her Godly husband while he cleans up the mess and rightfully FATHERS his wife's baby.

The TRUTH is Jon IS the legal father because that is fortunately how the people of Kentucky have chosen to define it. You and others that would seek to deny Jon his FATHER'S RIGHTS and little Anthony's rights to ONE father, his mother's husband are the mistaken ones. It is what it is. Life has consequences and life isn't always fair. There will be no successful appeal, the US Supreme Court has already fully endorsed Kentucky's right to disregard James' petition. They won't review it. It's over.

God bless Jon and Julia.

Mr. Wondering

This is your opinion. You are talking like the absolute authority on this subject. Reasonable and caring people do disagree with your point of view.

It might be over. You are probably right. But that doesn't mean it is right in everyone's eyes.

Actually if you kept reading in reaity I was a bw 3 times. And in a perfect world you'd think uh?

OK, I don't have time to read or respond to how big this thread has become! I did read the OM's blog and again, I think the judges did the right thing. Protecting marriage is protecting the children as well. We do have a couple of FWW's with OC that post here and their decisions to raise the child as the BH's was the right thing to do for the entire family. Who cares what OM wants? He was an interloper in that marriage.

Anyway, I just logged on (my computer died) to say to Mr.W and MEDC that mary is a favorite among the BW's on these boards. She is repentent. She has taken responsibility for her decisions and she has raised her OC on her own without interfering in the xMM's marriage. Your perceptions seem to be based on her newbie status. She is no newbie. I know she has been around at least as long as I have.

Ok, back to it and have fun folks. This board has not seen this much action or controversy since the arrive of TroubledH. LOL

I had almost my entire post written out and I accidently hit a button and its all gone .

Mr W: in order for you to get the full picture of my apoligies to xmm's wife you need to know the pregnancy story as well. So do you want me to lead you up to it or do you want to speculate and just get to the point?

Ditto. Just because I was a Ow does not mean I don't have ethics and morals. Just as a MM or WW that has made this same mistake can turn that huge mistake around and learn from it. and have sane ideas and opinions that have nothing to do with what they did.

Okay i did too find this a bit odd. BUT because I have been involved in so many infertilty groups that include adoptive parents I learned (and found it odd then, but understood? what there purpose was) that alot of adoptive parents including the husband to bond with the child breast feed the child. They buy or rent this machine that pumps out formula and they attach it to themselves. Again odd......imho but I've met some that have done it. Personally I did not brest feed my twins so it was odd to me because I boded quit nicely with them without brest feeding...but everyone has there own way I guess.

Many people defend mary here as a poor repent BW.

But did she not sleep with and get knocked up by a MM?

However you want to label mary, her words, the words mary choose's to defend the OM shows that she has a bias towards the OM.

She has chosen to defend a person that feels no remorse for injecting him self into someone elses marriage.

Her hidden agenda seems to support any OP that wants to use the birth of an OC to keep themselves involved in a marriage that they had no right to enter in the first place.

She is happy to raise her OC alone. Does not feel bad or guilt for deliberately raising her OC without a dad. Would let her OM get involved tomorrow, but it's the fault of OMW.



I also think that Mr W's letter is not a little off but to say "are you crazy" off.



I read this joke at least thirty five years ago. There was a picture of a 12 year old boy that just recently inherited the throne. He sat there on his throne unhappy that his wish even though he was the king could not be granted.


Under the picture the caption read: His mentor leaned in and said to the boy: Sire once you say off with his head you can not say put it back on the next day.


This affair as any other can not be undone. None of it, extramarital sex, pregnancy, birth of OC.

The OC will eventually want and need to know his DNA dad, DNA grand parents.
This could be the DNA GP's only GC. How can they be denied access?

The OM dos not deserve to have his feeling considered as far as I am concerned because he should of never made himself the third person in a marriage. No one forced him to gamble that he may never get to see his OC. He had free will. OM used it poorly.

The WW, she may of misled and lied to the OM only to keep the affair going. No excuse for the OM though because how can you believe a person willing to lie and cheat.

The BH concerns are that the OC will need to eventually connect with the DNA dad and if it is BH's position to deny this it will only cause long term hard feelings between BH and the OC.

The COM if their family can survive this they should be able to adapt to the CO.

If the through the appeal process and the OM gets joint custody all three parents are most likely have to co parent without direct contact. Will the courts be wise enough to realize this?

If I was the BH I would never want to see the OM for any reason. Or would I allow my wife to have any contact as well.

A never ending mess. who goes to the OC's graduations, marriage, birth of OC's children?

Road do you just read into things that you want too? First of all I beieve that any ANY bio parent unless they have abuse or murder etc in them has a right to there children. There is no hidden adgenda there. I could NOT make myself any more clear. Bottom line.

As far as my oc goes I have no choice but raise her alone. I had to accept that fact and move on with my life and make the best possible life for her and her sisters. Why should I drown in something that is not going to happen and NOT be the best parent? I dare you to say that to the other single parents on this board. It is what it is.

As far as if xmm wanting contact again although under strick supervision until proven stable I again HAVE NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER and WHY WOULD I WITHHOLD MY DAUGHTER FROM HER BIO FATHER? Seriously Road......with you I'm d*amned if I do and D*mned if I don't.
Delibertly raising my child alone? I can tell right now it does not matter what I say or do you will find fault in it. As far as xmm's wife......Where SHOW me where I blamed my xmm's wife. Talk about pharaphrasing........you are pharaphrasing things that were not even written or said or implied. You just want to assume because in YOUR eyes all ow's are the same. I am assuming you forgave your husband? Correct? Was he a good person before? How about after? How about Mrs. W what is your opinion of her? Was she worthy of forgiveness? Or is it because her husband forgave her? Tell me Road.....what consitutes your opinion of all the fow's and fom of the world?

Do you find it hard to "understand" how some bw's w/oc's can find me friendly and have some sort of a relationship with me? Is that just to much for you to comprehend? Maybe there is still some growth needed with you as well?

She is no better or worse than ANY FWS. Yours included.

Mary you had a choice. Not to have SF with a MM.

Everyone wants SF. Sometimes even though precautions are taken to prevent pregnancy it is the end result. So why risk having SF with someone that can never be a dad to your child?

A person that does that has to be selfish me first I don't care that my child will be raised in a one parent home on purpose. Our does not believe that it is best for a child to be raised by two parents.

Back to the original case in KY.

The WW was selfish. Her affair brought about this whole problem.
She gambled the way many WS's and OP's do.

Your right I chose to have sf (what does that stand for anyway...I am assuming sex but what excatly does it stand for?)with a mm. I never said I was proud of it, and I had to suffer the aftermath of it all as well. I've paid my dues Road. I owned it and I took it.

I don't consider myself selfish for not giving my child up. Again you don't know my background and it was just not an option for me. If I would have given up my oc than eveything I went through to have my twins would have been in vein. I was not going to pick and choose what kids to keep or get rid of. It's not me........and she has a good life. Yes there will be obsticles but we will overcome those. My have a very stable & loving home. In fact she has more of a stable home than some of my two parent friends have for there kids. Not all, but a few. I'm not ashamed of her, or her exsistant as she is also from my blood. Every body I know (and I know alot of very married as much as 40 years) christain couples as well as my family fully supported my decission to bring her into this world as my child and that know of how she was conceived.

Do not want you or expect you to give up your child.

I'm glad that she has a stable home.

Why are you refusing to admit that it would be better for your child to grow up with both of her parents instead of only one.

Road I am confussed. I am sorry. But are you asking me or saying to me she had both her dad and myself as her parents even under the circumstances? Or what?

I never said otherwise that it would be a bad thing if her dad was in her life. In fact in a lot of ways it would be great even under the circumstances of it all. As long as it was on the up and up. no sneaking around. But it's not and my whole point was I was not going to give her up just because he did not want to be in her life and the circumstances of her conceiption.

Can we try to keep "on topic" here?

This thread is not about marysway or critiquing her situation. marysway has been a MB member for a long time and has proven to be a valuable helpful member. She has earned her "F" status and posts to BW's, FWH's, FWW's and FOW equally with sound advice and empathy.

Topic is The Kentucky Court Ruling.........

Thanks all!!

Thanks Justuss!

Ditto