Hi.

WH just left. Started talking to him about our R, etc. And asked him WHY he came home. He said the same bull. Then I asked him if he was really willing to participate in recovering our M. Same wishy washy answer.

Said he thought he had done all he could do.

Then I asked if he was seeing someone. He said no. I looked into his eyes and could tell he was not telling the truth. I kept silent and kept waiting for him to tell me again. And I waited.

Then he said yes.

I told him to GET OUT. He sat there and just stared out me. This time, I just told him what I really thought about his lies, deceitfulness and that I hoped he was really proud and happy with himself. I don't really give a hoot about a Plan A on a 2nd affair. I told him I could forgive him once, but not twice.

He was waiting for a decision to be made for him. Now it's made.

JERK.

DS is going to be devestated. This time I am telling him the truth too. Not that "Mommy and Daddy are trying to work some things out."

So, ML. You're hunch was right. He kept it hidden nicely this time too. I don't know who she is or anything. I don't really care. Supposedly he met her while we were separated. He supposedly wasn't seeing her when he came home. But contact somehow started while he was here.

JERK. JERK. JERK. JERK. JERK.

Here's what I think. He was staying with a "lady" towards the end when he was not living here. I think it was whoever it is that he has been seeing for the past few months. Then he thought he missed me and missed DS. So, she found out that he was considering working things out with me. She got mad & he all of a sudden needed somewhere else to stay. As a result he asked ME if he could come home.

Well, seems like my worries of Recovery are over.

Oh my gosh, I am SO SORRY for your pain.

I have NO IDEA whatsoever what this would be like, but I know you have come to a place that is safe for you and will support you as you walk through this.

{{{{{{KIM}}}}}}}}}

I wish I could say I am sorry, but I am NOT. I FEEL RELIEVED that you found out the truth. Something was obviously very wrong. I am sorry you had to endure a false recovery, KIM, and am sorry for your boy.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{KIM}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Kim, I am not asking you this to make you feel bad, but did you refinance the house and pay off his credit cards? If you say yes, i promise i will not make you feel bad for it. I just want to know if he got that.

PMG

(((((KIM)))))

Thanks for the support. I need it.

He stood there before he left and said "I love you." I told him to never say those words to me again. I told him that he didn't know what love was. That he needed to go and find out who HE was and that maybe one day he could be happy with just himself instead of trying to find happiness in other people.

I told him not to contact me. I told him we were back to the old schedule.

He asked if he could sleep on the couch and I said NO. That he made a choice. That he KNEW what he was doing and he still chose to LIE to me. He chose to LIE to our son. What a A- hole. It kills me to know that DS is going to get hurt again.

He wanted it to be easy on him. He said he felt he was trying to keep pushing me until I asked him to leave. Well, geez. If he would told me about the A a few months ago it would of saved us all a lot of time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


JERK. JERK. JERK. JERK. JERK.

This is what terrifies me about him, Kim. He would rather drive you INSANE wondering what is wrong than tell you the truth. This is what he did the last time, remember? I believe he ENJOYS playing cat and mouse with you. He enjoys the GAME of CHASE and watching you slowly crumble from being gaslighted. HE ENJOYS IT.

HE IS NOT SAFE.

Yes.

He stil has credit card debt though.

I've got all of the tax refund money in my account. And I've got enough of my own money set aside to do a D.

I was even helping him buy a new car. Both cars are in his name right now. Crud.

How can someone be so cruel? He tried to act like he felt bad. He acted like it was "hurting" him.

This is so horrible. I was going to say that he knows how bad he hurt me the first time. But if he did know, he couldn't have done it again.

He asked me if he could call me tomorrow. I told him NO. I don't want to hear from him ever.

He knows that he hurt you terribly the first time. You did tell him that, didn't you? I believe I remember QUITE CLEARLY that you told him this OFTEN. And even asked him to LEAVE because you could not take the pain anymore. HE KNOWS HOW BADLY HE HURT YOU.

In fact, I clearly recall that you told him in your PLAN B LETTER how very hurt you were.

Oh, he knew. I'm just saying that if he FELT the pain that I am feeling then he couldn't have hurt me AGAIN in the same way.

Some WH's do feel our pain. Others say the understand it, but never really do. Mine falls into the second category.

He is missing the empathy GENE. Which makes him NOT SAFE.

I was already thinking while WH was still here. I should change all of the locks. I've decided to call in sick tomorrow to take care of that. I'm going to look like CRUD in the morning anyway.

What else should I be thinking of?

I never got mad enough to throw all of his belongings in the driveway. Maybe I should take the liberty to do that too!!

I like the idea of taking tomorrow off to change the locks. Then maybe you can pack up his stuff and deal with it later?

Mel -

Will he ever be SAFE? I am just blown away that he could come home, pretend to be recovering the M and then bring that CRUD with him too.

I told him that I hoped the SLUT was worth it. I am pretty sure I said all kinds of things to him that I shouldn't have.

He just kept sitting there, looking all sad. I asked him if he wanted me to keep going, because I could. I could keep telling him how awful he was so he could end up HATING me. That way leaving would be much easier for him

Is there anything that I need to do to protect myself that I'm not thinking of? Money wise I have a feeling that things are going to get rocky.

He said he guessed that he would find a hotel tonight. I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't on the phone to OW saying that he was so relieved that I kicked him out. Now they can be together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kim,
I've never posted to you before but I have read bits of your thread.
I found out 4 days ago my recovery was false as well.
Sux doesnt it.

Can I cry with you?

I don't know if he will ever BE safe, but you KNOW, YOU KNOW, he has not been SAFE IN YEARS. IN YEARS. He has caused you and that boy the most horrible grief and trauma. Over and over again. You have to protect yourself and your boy from him.

Thank you all for being here. You guys are always here in my darkest hours. (especially you ML....how do you always know??)

((((((((((kim))))))))))



Charlotte