Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 26 1 2 3 4 5 25 26
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
Originally Posted by Sh0cked
I had a weird session with my IC the other day. I told him I had the same recurring dream - one night I am a Wigwam, another I am a Teepee. Wigwam - Teepee. Wigwam - Teepee.

Doctor said, "I know your problem - your two tents."

Yah, pretty bad but it is the only clean one I know.

rotflmao "Tents" LOL

Okay, here's one:

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?"


laugh


Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
The song was tooooooo funny rotflmao
The notes said it had lyrics included - for the clear headed.
Sad that he was so stoned, though.

I thought the jokes were ok,too.

G'night, friends...

Too tents...long face... :RollieEyes:

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288
Three drunks go fishing at see in a motorboat.

The boat runs out of fuel halfway back to port.

They decide to carry on fishing with the hope that someone will eventually pick them up.

One of the drunks hooks the cork of an ancient wine bottle. Expecting a drink, he gets a genie instead. The genie looks at the motley crew, thanks them for his eternal release and grants the group just ONE wish.

Before any of the other two can speak, the drunkest blurts out: "I wish the ocean would turn into first class beer..."

And poof the genie disappears leaving the three sailors and their boat floating amidst an ocean of the highest quality beer.

For the longest time, the other two drunks stare at their wishful friend with an absolutely stunned expression.

Eventually one of them speaks:
"...And now I suppose we will have to pee into the boat...!"


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,632
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,632
Quote
ONLY look at this link if you still think tie-dye is cool and know who Fred Flintstone is --- and you're high as a kite

Or if you're as old as me, you can actually remember being there!

All Blessings,
Jerry

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by Resilient
Originally Posted by bigkahuna
Silly Texans. I have the same problem with her Jo.

She gets it. She's just jelly that I can craft and tell a good joke.

skeptical

okok, I finally got dat joke! It has been 5 or 6 years since I played with Mr Potato head so it took a while. And I am a Texan, so what do ya expect?? grin


My BIL, AN ENGINEER, tells jokes that no one GETS!! You would have to understand the inner workings of cumulus clouds to get his last joke!! crazy



"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
Originally Posted by Pepperband
link

ONLY look at this link if you still think tie-dye is cool and know who Fred Flintstone is --- and you're high as a kite dance2

Pep

"Oh, liver!" That's the loudest Air Guitar I ever did hear.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
dance2 dance2 dance2 dance2

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^------rolling on the ground and dancing nekkid




me - 47 tired
H - 39 cool
married 2001
DS 8a think
DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy:
(Why is DS7b now a blockhead???)
(Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
Here's some pretty dry humor, otherwise known as jokes that will take Mel weeks to get! stickout

~A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop!

~Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...

~I enjoy waxing nostalgic over nostalgia...

Mrs. W grin



FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
t/j...
Mrs W...can you check out ecdrt thread (My Wife is Cheating) on Just found out? Thanks.

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by MrsWondering
Here's some pretty dry humor, otherwise known as jokes that will take Mel weeks to get! stickout

~A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop!

~Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...

~I enjoy waxing nostalgic over nostalgia...

Mrs. W grin

skeptical skeptical skeptical skeptical


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
Originally Posted by medc
t/j...
Mrs W...can you check out ecdrt thread (My Wife is Cheating) on Just found out? Thanks.

Sure thing MEDC...I'll go take a looky-loo...

And Mel, try not to hurt yerself! Thinkin' too hard could cause smoke, and Lord knows a HUGE aquanet fire would be no fun at all -- total buzz kill! grin

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
ok, fine, I know some "JOKES" too!!

A man walks into Target and buys a mop! rotflmao

A turtle crosses the road! rotflmao

bubba drove a white truck to the fair. rotflmao

A silly yankee tells jokes that nobody GETS!! rotflmao

I am sorry, but your jokes are foolish and no one GETS THEM!!! :RollieEyes: I don't get dem jokes!! cry


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058
Quote
A silly yankee tells jokes that nobody (in Texas) GETS!!

Quote
A turtle crosses the road!
Must have been a road in west Texas where nobody lives. A turtle would never have made it across around here.

Quote
bubba drove a white truck to the fair.
Bet it had an Easy Rider rifle rack in the back window too.

Quote
A man walks into Target and buys a mop!
Must have been a sale. Everybody knows Walmart is cheaper.

think

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
Two Aussies are adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat's provisions one of them finds an old lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie suddenly appears. This genie tells them that he only grants one wish.

Without giving much thought to the matter, the lamp finder blurts out, "Turn the entire ocean into VB!"

The genie claps his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turns into beer.

The genie disappears and only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull breaks the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.

The second Aussie turns to the first and says, "Nice going mate! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat." uhuh
rotflmao


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by Mark1952
Quote
A silly yankee tells jokes that nobody (in Texas) GETS!!

Quote
A turtle crosses the road!
Must have been a road in west Texas where nobody lives. A turtle would never have made it across around here.

Quote
bubba drove a white truck to the fair.
Bet it had an Easy Rider rifle rack in the back window too.

Quote
A man walks into Target and buys a mop!
Must have been a sale. Everybody knows Walmart is cheaper.

think


He GOT dem jokes!! skeptical


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,424
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,424


Me - BS DDay 1 (Multiple affairs while overseas) - Feb 2003 DDay 2 (AdultFriendFinder Profile) - April 2007 Seeing a counselor. I think we have him stumped.
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
With regards to Sarah Palin -

Bubba and Jake chartered a plane with a pilot to drop them off in the wilds of Alaska for a week of moose hunting, just the same as they did the year before.

When the pilot returned with the plane Bubba exclaimed joyfully to the pilot, "We had a great hunting trip! We bagged four moose!"

The pilot regretfully explained, "Unfortunately, our plane can only fly with the weight of two moose. You'll have to leave the other two behind."

Bubba and Jake were both infuriated and insistent. "We won't allow you to fly this plane out without all four moose," Jake demanded.

The eager to please pilot relented and the plane took off with the three of them and their four moose. About fifteen minutes into the flight the engine started to sputter, and within seconds they were hurtling to the ground.

Wearily arising from the wreckage, Bubba looked at Jake and wheezed, "Do you have any idea where we are?"

Jake, quite pleased with himself, replied, "Yes! We're about a mile from where we crashed last year."




Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,632
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,632
So it would seem there are two Texas blondes walking along the the beatifull river but on opposite sides.

The first Texas blonde is searching for a way to cross the river to the other side. She spys the other Texas blonde on the other side and yells out: YoooHooo, how do I get to the other side???

The second Texas blonde replies back: Weeelll, you're already on the other side!! rotflmao

All Blessings,
Jerry

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058
There are only two blond jokes.

All the rest are true.






Two blonds are walking in the woods and come across some tracks.

"Look" says the first, "Deer tracks!"

"Those aren't deer tracks" says the second, "Those are elk tracks."

"They are not elk tracks," says the first blond. "I know deer tracks when I see 'em and those are deer tracks."

"Look," says blond number two, "you might think of yourself as quite the outdoors person but my Daddy took me hunting with him all the time and those are definitely elk tracks."

"Well you might have gone hunting with your Daddy but I went hunting with my Daddy way more times than you went with yours and I know for a fact that those are deer tracks," says the first.

So back and forth they went, arguing about what type of tracks they had found.

They stood there in the woods calling each other names and each refusing to give in to what they knew was right...

Until at last...








whistle









A train came along and ran over both of them.

That's the other one...

Mark


Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278
dance2 It's got a good beat and you can dance to it!! dance2

This should be shown in America. A LOT. Starting in HS sex-ex classes. Or heck, for that matter, shown all over the world. Yep.

Page 3 of 26 1 2 3 4 5 25 26

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,121 guests, and 43 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5