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Laziness & living together before marriage
#2110968 08/16/08 01:26 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Shrek's Swamp
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Pepperband Offline OP
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Pepperband
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Shrek's Swamp
Quote
Laziness after marriage is a huge problem for couples who lived together before marriage. The commitment of marriage does not make them more willing to meet each other's needs, it makes them less willing, because they figure that the other person is now committed. But the high rate of divorce in these relationships proves that the commitment of marriage really doesn't mean much when emotional needs are no longer met. A high percentage of these marriages don't last through the first year.

A Harley quote from the site.

Living together before marriage DECREASES the willingness to meet each others ENs after marriage.

It's the old "renter" problem -

"renter" was good enough to live together before marriage - and therefore "renter" doesn't change to "buyer" after marriage .... the ship usually sinks for lack of commitment by either person to maintain seaworthiness.

Interesting.

Pep

LINK ~~> Carrot/Stick of Plan A

LINK ~~> Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders
Re: Laziness & living together before marriage
Pepperband #2111010 08/16/08 02:56 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Shrek's Swamp
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Pepperband Offline OP
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Shrek's Swamp
Link to thread discussing Buyers Renters Freeloaders ( a book found in the bookstore of this site recently re-titled The One)



To understand the renter agreement read this


link to the bookstore


Pep


Last edited by Pepperband; 08/16/08 02:57 PM.
LINK ~~> Carrot/Stick of Plan A

LINK ~~> Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders
Re: Laziness & living together before marriage
Pepperband #2139723 10/09/08 07:07 PM
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 3
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FreedomSoon Offline
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FreedomSoon
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Very interesting post and thank you for links.

First ex, we lived together (dumb!!!) and I married him even though there were serious control issues and nastiness cloaked in soft tones.

Second ex pretended to be a Christian, have integrity, etc. and switched a year into the marriage, or rather I discovered the lies that far into the marriage. We didn't live together beforehand.

So I found two freeloaders who almost made it to renter status but neither wanted to move to the next level. Now I'm trying to figure out whether to ever date again but certainly not while I still have children living at home.

FS

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