Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 16
joanP43 Offline OP
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 16
Any encouragement from former Wayward Spouses that have made it through withdrawl would be greatly appreciated. I'm 6 days into NC.

messed things up
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 177
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 177
Hi Joan,

I sincerely hope that you are doing OK and are over the worst of being in NC. It is brave of you to post on a board like this.

One thing that struck me about your previous post was this:

I know I will be crucified by the readers of this discussion board. I have been having an affair for 4 years with an older man who is married that I met at work. I know I was wrong. But I wasn't happy, I'm always looking for more and I admit I wanted the attention and love this person wanted to give me. I've tried to end it so many times but I can't seem to live without him in my life. I'm going around and around on this merry go round and I want to jump off but I'm too scared that my ego cannot survive without this man.

I too am married and have been for almost 30 years. Please help me. I'm messed up I know

There is no "I'm sorry, but..." when it comes to adultery. You have to be sorry - full stop. "I'm sorry, but..." really means "I'm not actually sorry". I hear these kind of justifications and rationalizations from my adulterous wife all the time.

I know you have been married almost as long as I have been alive and feel like I should still respect my elders - please own total responsibility for your decisions.

I sincerely wish you the best with your recovery and hope that you have told your husband. I doubt that he would throw away 30 years of marriage with you but he will be angry and hurt for a long time. You owe it to him to tell the truth - your marriage will then survive and you can prevail as a couple.

Good luck

Me: 36
FWW: 36
1 son born in Dec 2009 - confirmed mine through DNA test
1 daughter born in Nov 2010
Together: 13 years
Married: 10 years

PA/EA: January 2008 to July 2009
FWW left for OM: 01/28/2008
FWW returned for 9 days: 04/2008
FWW returned 05/21/2008

Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,399
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,399
Does your husband know, Joan?

Me (FWW): 45
BH: 46
M: 11/94
PA: 2/08 (4 mos)
Confessed: 10/08

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 142 guests, and 127 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
raysunshine, BuckeyeGrad, A12345bc, light124, DORA SMITH
71,770 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5