Excellent! Let me know what you think

Another update - not much to report. He contacted me about a problem with his orders and reporting date to his new assignment. Looks like he will not report here until December 1st. He has been really good about keeping things strictly professional - wow - a man who does what is requested!!! (LOL)!!!I'm not sure if he's just "laying low" until he gets here, or if, indeed, he is a player, and he now realizes that I will not "play" along, and has decided to give up! We shall see... I admit I am intrigued, but will not give up my stance...

Well - things have gone from interesting to strange!!! He showed up and my office to process, and he told me that he had married his girlfriend two months ago (approximately three weeks after he came on to me, of sorts). Then he proceeds to tell me that he is still conflicted about it, and that it was her idea to do it on the spur of the moment. Of course, I did not ask why he was conflicted - LOL!! My feeling is that his attraction to me is merely a sympton of his ambivalence, not the reason. Apparently, she knows about me - how much he told her I do not know. Since she will not be coming here with him on his new assignment, she must have been a bit worried about what he might do if left to his own devices!

Anyway, he has finished processing at our facility, and my job is done where he is concerned. I definitely think that I must cut all contact now. It will difficult enough for them to keep things together, with being just married and not living together for the next year, much less with contined contact with someone that he was attracted to.

It disturbed me that he seemed kind of nonchalant about it - it seems that some people just don't take marriage as seriously
as it deserves to be taken. After all, if it doesn't work out, or you decide you don't love your spouse any more, or if someone more interesting comes along - you can just end it, right?

I have been divorced for almost ten years, and have not had any serious relationships at all during that time period. I decided that I would just take lots of time to be by myself, and get my life together, and enjoy being unattached. I do not regret doing this, as my life is so much better since the divorce, and I have been blessed with so many wonderful things in my life since then. But,I am beginning to wonder if I have waited too long, and am now too jaded and too used to being on my own to go there again!

Lady M

Well - another update - His orders were cancelled and he went back home. I have only heard from him once about a pay issue. Hopefully, he is getting his head together and settling into married life, despite his conflict, and hopefully working on resolving it. Given what I have been through (H left me for OW rather than be honest and end it before getting involved with her) and my disdain for what they did, I suppose in a way, this has been my chance to "put my money where my mouth is", so to speak!!

I am not sure what his issues were - not my place to ask. It is illuminating though, that he did not leave the relationship, even though he seemed to be leaning that way, after I told him that I would not be "waiting in the wings". If he had, knowing he would have to be alone and work through it by himself, I would have perhaps thought he had really serious doubts, based on the relationship itself. But since he stayed with it, I am more of the mind that he just had really a bad case of cold feet about committing. Or perhaps, he wanted me to be his way out of the relationship. In which case, if I had gone there, it would have fallen apart once the objective (of getting out of marrying her) had occurred. It can seem easier to start over again, than to really examine yourself and the relationship and take a chance on truly making it work, despite fears of committment.