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#2050981 05/02/08 11:55 AM
Joined: May 2008
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My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months now, we fell in love right away. I love him dearly, but it seems like ever since I moved in with him, something he asked me to do, he doesn't care as much as he did when we were notliving together. He's not as lovey dovey, he got a dog, who he seems to be more attetntive to, i have tried to discuss this with him. He assures me he's happy and that he loves me but I think his attitude has changed. How do I know if he doesn't want me anymore?

Joined: Jun 2008
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Good question. I'm in the same boat, but it's been two years!

The obvious choice is ask him? But he may well come back with "of course i love you" or some such nonsense that on the surface seems nice but is just him trying to 'keep you happy'.

Try this: IF you can get him to fill out the EN questionnaire (never mind the love busters yet) talk to him about it and try your best to meet those needs. If he won't fill it out (DH's sat on his desk for five MONTHS with promises to do it that never got done till Steve Harley told him it was an assignment!) then read them yourself and try to guess.

Experiment with things that you think might make him feel good or happy. Suggest dates. Suggest romantic things and see what he says or does. It could be that he's bored, or just romantically 'lazy' and not thinking about what it takes to 'keep' you happy.

Either way, give him hugs and kisses for no reason. At least he'll wonder what you are up to! grin

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Ouch! Sounds like he did wht Dr. H called the bait and switch, which is what my xh did! But he still didn't become my x until there was no hope left after 5 yrs of marriage and 2yrs of counseling w Dr. H - which did no good w my xh. He refused to put out the effort to do the assignments and went totally against what we were counseled on.

One good thing that came of it though: when (or if) I meet someone to marry again - I can go back to MB Weekend with the new potential partner without paying again!! smile

Good luck!!!!!!!!

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Move out and tell him that if he wants you enough, he will court you and marry you. Though I'm not sure why you would want to marry HIM!

Joined: Sep 2008
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I think what they said was true,it's good to get out of there while it's still not getting out of control.From what you are saying it seems he's just too comfortable by being you at his beck and call.
In short the challenge is not there anymore,he is taking you for granted now.

Hurtful but true so bail out while you still can..
Go on with life I'm sure there's a lot for you out there.

Gab of IAFT....

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So some of you guys/gals are suggesting if he doesn't approach everyday with romantic zest and like it's the honeymoon stage that she should leave him?

OP, go find the book "The Five Love Languages." Fill out the quiz. Follow the directions.

Also, have both of you fill out the Emotional Needs questionaire. It is possible that you're not meeting his emotional needs just the same as you feel he's not meeting yours.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

Joined: Mar 2007
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i can definitely say... if my wife was asking from me what your asking your bf to do, i would be i heaven... as long as my wife and i are happy together... my personal life objective has een completed.

you need to confront him in a nice manner... tell him.. that he says he lovew you, but does't really show it by giving so much attention to the dog.

and if thats how he was going to be... why did he ask you to move in with him. i have been married for 9.5yrs... i am dealing with my own problems with my wife and my marriage, but... don't rush to get married until the relationship and bond between the two of you right now.... is strong.


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