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Joined: Nov 1999
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O.K......<P>I've had it......<P>I am not moving from this chair....I am never leaving this board.....EVER....they will have to pry my cold, dead fingers from this keyboard.....<P>when I posted regularly, and felt I was helping others, life was decent....not always great, but o.k. - a good balance had been achieved except for the amount of time spent here....<P>then I left....and only lurked.......<P><BR>now my life is a toilet....<P>this has to be something to do with my karma....there is no other explanation...<P>EVERYTHING that could possibly go wrong has....nope, no terminal illness or deaths, and there are still many, MANY things that I find myself grateful for....<P>but overall, life sucks and I would like to get off the planet right about now....<P>the pity pot is large and ever-expanding....<BR>AAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK<P>I am just venting:<P>- H is out of work<P>- I am out of work<P>- the mortgage bounced<P>- the bank is starting legal action<P>- the wait for preschool is 4 months<P>- the house is falling apart..literally...<P>- Deut is back to playing 6 hrs. a day online<P>- we both have backslid in our behaviours<P>- I feel like a psycho-b!tch<P>- we rolled dimes and nickels for gas money today<P>- we had to go to a food bank<P>- most of the stuff the gave us was rotted<P>- or 2 weeks past the freshess date<P>- Deut was attacked by ex-wife<P>- if front of their son<P>- police and social workers involved<P>- Deut has not heard from son in a week<P>- Deut told me just recently about sexual attack by her last year<P>- Deut feels like a loser who cannot provide<P>- His own dad told him to abandon his son<P>- his dad is going to hawaii, and bought g/f $8, 0000 ring, but can't help his own son<P>- laundry is piling up, I am doing some by hand as we cannot afford freaking laundry soap<P>- I am feeling EXTREMELY sorry for us...I realize this....<P>- I am whining.....I realize this too...<P>- Deut's son is still with psycho-mom<P>- my son is not reacting well to stress<P>- everybody is getting eady to sue us<P>- we will be losing internet soon<P>- we will be losing heat soon<P>I am however, grateful for my friends....every single one of you here....<P>and I do realize that we have to pull up the old bootstraps.....job searching has begun...but the mountain of debt is looming, and a paycheck in a couple of weeks will not stop all the legal proceedings.....<P>I want to run away right now....<P>I have so very much to be grateful for...really, I do...I am aware of that...but watching all of the above destroy the man I love and our life together....<P>Ironic....his infidelity drew us closer together, life is what is ripping us apart...<P>ok, Dylan's 5 cent psychiatric booth (like Lucy in peanuts) is now open again....<P>ps: missed you guys....<P><BR>Dylan<P><BR>

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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dylan}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Welcome back!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

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Dylan, <BR>What can we do to help? Have you tried to call your towns courthouse or anybody for financial help? By me there are organizations that help with heat bills and food. Churches are a great place to start. Around us they give out vouchers for gas, food, etc. They are always willing to lend a hand. If I lived closer I'd bring you some stuff over. I am not kidding when I say this.....but do you need some help with money? I know that it is too late for some stuff, but how about for food and gas and supplies? <P>You are under so much stress and we are glad to see you back! You have been such a good "friend" to so many and I can only say thank you and please let me know!<BR>Nancy

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{{{{{{{{{{{{{DYLAN}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR>(((((((((((((DEUT:}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>I already told you this.......<P>I Love You Guys.....<P>I am Praying For Ya's<P><BR>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

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Sounds like you are wondering aimlessly thru the foggy cloud. <P>There is a silver lining. <P>Sometimes you have to stumble blindly thru the cloud for quit some time before you find it.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Dylan }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Can legal aide file a bankruptsey for you? It sounds like the way to go so you can get a fresh start. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

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<B>(((((((((((((((((((Dylan))))))))))))))))))<P>Welcome back!</B><P>Nice to hear from you again. I don't think this is karma at all. I think and understand all to well about life getting in the way of a relationship. God is the strength we all need. I know I don't know where I'd be without it? Then of course the wonderful people here but, then again they are as you are a God send. So I will be saying extra prayers for the two of you and your family.<P>I wish I had more advise to offer. I don't have much but, here goes.<P>#1. I am not sure if they have this organization where you live but the organization called FISH will help with food each and every week. They have many volunteers and many resources to help people who are in need and down on their luck. They have resourses to help with utilitiy bills and know of other places to send you for help with other finacial matters.<P>#2. In this state when I divorced first husband and couldn't make the house payments they had to give me 6 months to recuperate and redeem myself. They started all the legal actions but, that took a while and after determination would have been made by judge they would have had to give me six months after that. You need to seek legal advise.<P>#3. For that legal advise call Free Legal Services. They must have some sort of organization where you live. All attorneys have to do so much pro bono work. Check it out. That will help you with all of the questions on the house. That free legal advise is called Legal Aid here.<P>#4. During this stressful time people need counseling of some sort. There are free services available and if anything get your son into see someone so he has a place to productively vent and have a special person that is just on his side.<P>If the two of you could go too that would be also helpful for the two of you. Stress really makes all of us so much worse and takes away our ability to think clearly.<P>#5. Pray, I don't know where you are in your relationship to God. Can't remember...sorry it is the After the affair brain cell damage thing, [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] but, I can't tell you how much prayer helps.<P>If you ever get the chance to watch Joyce Meyers on TV she is one female evangelist who is so down to earth so real and listening to her always makes me feel better or at the very least gives me hope. The bonus is she is really funny too.<P><B>Wish I could have offered more advise. I will be thinking about it all and if something comes to mind I will reply back here and add it.<P>In the meantime know you were missed and are a much appreciated person here. I will be praying for you and following your post to keep up to date.<P>You are going to get stronger because all of this. Is isn't going to beat you or the two of you. It is just going to be a bit murky for a while. Soon the path will be straight and dry and you'll be headed to right where you deserve to be and want to be. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Much Love to you and Duet.</B><P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! With God on our side we can't loose. What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by Samantha-MI (edited February 06, 2000).]

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Dylan - hugs and prayers for you, Sweetie. Somewhere there IS a way out of this mess and you two will find it together.<P>Your candle is lit.<P>Lori

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I hate to hear that you are hurting. Is there anything we can do other than pray? You and your family are in my prayers....<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dylan}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Hey before you lose internet services, go to altavista.com and there's another one butI can't remember. However its free internet access and email. Check it out!<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

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holy buckets!!<P>I'm so sorry that everything has crashed at once.<P>Re the mortgage. Banks don't want to foreclose if it can be avoided. I'm an Ontario real estate agent (you're in Montreal as I remember). In this province, by proper timing you can delay the whole process for at least several months. I would suggest you get yourself off to an experienced RE agent tomorrow. They may suggest you sell before the bank sells for you and indeed it might be the best option. However, insist that he or she explain all the rules to you and write them out. For instance you have X days to reply after the first notice from the bank. Again I don't know the rules where you live, but go find out. You could go to a lawyer, but RE agents are used to giving information for free.<P>Hope this helps just a little. Also I don't think the gas company can turn off service in winter in Ontario, check that out too.<P>Find a why to let us know how you're doing.

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<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{DYLAN}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>You know I would help if I could. I will keep you in my prayers as always. Hold on tight to your love and your family. You are so strong and such a good person I know you will hold it all together even if it seems it will all fall apart. Let me know if there is anything I/we can do to help out in anyway.<BR>Give that little boy of yours an extra big squeezy hug(and one for that crazy H of yours as well). I am sending warm thoughts and prayers easterly to you, Deut, your son and his son. Love you all.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole smile

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Dylan,<P>I just got this in e-mail so I am going to copy and paste it here. Hope it helps with the internet access? <P>Hi-<P>Thought I'd pass this one. You can download from altavista.com and get free access. The tradeoff is you get a bar running on the bottom of your screen w/commercials. Free is free tho.<P>Clara<P>Clara is a dear friend of mine and I know she wouldn't send it if it didn't really work or wasn't true.<P>Hope you can get online that way?<P>bye for now...keep looking for your responses back. For someone who wasn't going to leave the key board you sure are gone. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] LOL Seriously though am looking forward to hearing your next word to us.<BR><P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! With God on our side we can't loose. What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B>

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Lurking only a bit today and here you are, my dearest girl... oh sweetie, I'm sooooo sorry. I know it doesn't help, but I have honestly been where you are - food banks, bounced checks and all!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>You are a beautiful person and it shines through no matter what is going on in your life. You are GOOD and KIND and deserve the BEST that life has to offer!<P>Love you, Sheryl

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ok, ok,<P>so my fingers got pried off the keyboard....but it was by a 4 yr. old who needed me to play.....lol<P>as I said above, the post was really a vent...no one (parents, friends) know how bad things are, and sometimes, I feel so overwhelmed by it all, that I need to blow off a little steam and despair...<P>thank you one and all for listening to the whining of one who is wallowing in self-pity...<P>thanks for the welcome back, Terri...and I loved your letter to slug....<P>nancy, you are a wonderful, lovely and giving human being, and it saddens me that your H is an inconsiderate nincompoop(sp?) who can't see that!!!<P>bill, well, what can I say....(((BILL))))<P>Keosha, i'm glad you found this wonderful, safe haven for those of us in pain...and sad too....never will you find more wonderful and giving human beings anywhere in the world...as for the bankruptcy idea, well we already did that a few years ago due to the huge amounts we expended on a custody battle for Deut's son....this battle with the ex has been ongoing for 7 years...this is still the same mountain of debt that we are still trying to overcome...<P>Samantha....I have missed you, you great chick!!!!....but I have lurked and prayed for you ...especially regarding Siobahn...I'm so happy for you that she is safe...as for help here, well, everything in this province of canada is governed by community...see, if we lived in a 'poor' section of town where most are on welfare, we would have resources coming out the wazoo....but, we live in a suburb where affluence is the norm....Deut's mom died a few years ago and the estate is what we used for a down payment for this house...so, if you don't have the resources around you, you are not allowed to go elsewhere because you don't live in the right community...stupid, but true...I am calling the bank as well as a real estate agent tomorrow...I'm praying, girl, I'm praying...in my own pagan way, I'm praying...<P>Lori, a candle is lit over here for you...and I am sending the biggest hugest hug right on over....by the way, is PTB Deut's ex???? they sound like twins!!!!...<P>Jamie-Lee, good to meet you...thank you...I got the alta vista....I will be cancelling the other internet and cable tomorrow morning...I would rather cancel them before they cut me off...salvage what little I can of our credit rating....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....ahem.<P>Hanora, thank you for the realestate advice..I am getting on it first thing in the morning....I am also thinking of packing up everything we want to keep and caling in an auction company and just selling everything else....we used to live in ontario....here though, we heat with oil, so if you can't pay, they will not deliver....I checked, and we have 5 days to reply to the bank letter...hey...want to sell a house in montreal???....can you cross-border sell?....lol....also, read your last post, girl, hang on....you are doing the best you can, and you take care of you....<P>Nicole....you, my gentle friend have more patience than ANYONE I know....and you have more faith in me than I have in myself....thank you for letting me borrow a little of your strength....much love to you and yours.....yes, even to Arik...LOL [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>(((((((SHERYL))))))))<P>yes, it does help...it helps more than you know that you have 'been there' and have come out of it..it is an inspiration to me, as YOU are....ALWAYS....I am always thinking of you...as well as david....remember the level playing field??....he may just want the same things as you...to be loved, cherished, and to be adored...I say, plan A each other!!!!!!!if not, then whack him over the head for me!!!!!...keep hanging on....you have this far, even though your pain is worse right now, you know the love is there, you just have to find your way through the murky clouds....as I have always said....you both just need to get through the [censored] first...the prize is waiting...<P><BR>One and all, thank you again......sometimes, another perspective is needed to remind us all of what to appreciate and what to be grateful for....I know, somehow, the clouds will part...., and all that la-di-da stuff will occur....I just feel so very far away from that right now....<P>there also comes a time for decision-making and about how much one can take of a particular situation....and the options involved...I'm going to go and think of all those options right now....<P>thanks for listening.....<P><BR>Dylan

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Dylan,<P>Don't know what to say, have no suggestions- if you were in Mexico I could give you a couple of suggestions, but Canada?<P>Life is hard sometimes, you now have the blessing of a tight family and believe me that God will supply; we don't have food stamps here or so many organizations providing free services but if we had I would had requested their services at least once and trust me, God will supply on time.<P>(((((((((((((((((((((((((((<B>DYLAN & TEUT</B>)))))))))))))))))))))))))))<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR>Live and learn (but when?)

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GOT THIS ON THE MAIL TODAY; IT'S FOR THE USA I GUESS BUT PROBABLY THEY'LL KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING SIMILAR IN CANADA.<P>ALEX<P>-------------------------------------------<BR>FREE Consultation - Respond by February 15!<P>FREE DEBT CONSOLIDATION CONSULTATION<P> > Is your monthly debt growing?<BR> > Did the holiday season causing your credit card bills<BR> to go through the roof?<BR> > Do you want to buy a house or car and are unable to<BR> get credit?<P>Until February 15, E-Debt Consolidation <A HREF="http://209.70.133.202/edebt/edebt1.htm?m8" TARGET=_blank>http://209.70.133.202/edebt/edebt1.htm?m8</A> is offering a FREE, confidential debt<BR>reduction analysis. Find out how this NON-PROFIT Organization Can:<P> * Slash your credit card interest rate down to zero!<BR> * Cut your minimum monthly payments by 50%;<BR> * Stop your creditors from harassing you now;<BR> * Consolidate your bills into one payment;<BR> * Instantly begin to IMPROVE YOUR CREDIT RATING!<P>Reserve your spot as part of this debt management program and begin SAVING<BR>THOUSANDS of dollars on your debt and Interest.<P>Other Great Things About This Program:<P> * NO Need To Own Any Property.<BR> * This is NOT a loan program.<BR> * Almost Everyone With Debt Qualifies.<P>Visit <A HREF="http://209.70.133.202/edebt/edebt1.htm?m8" TARGET=_blank>http://209.70.133.202/edebt/edebt1.htm?m8</A> NOW for a FREE Debt Analysis.<BR>Discuss your debt problem with an experienced debt reduction professional for<BR>free. This offer is available until February 15, 2000, so respond now to<BR>schedule your free phone consultation.<BR>

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Hey girl,<P>I've just read your post. all this and you took the time to respond to me...<P>You really are something, you know that??<P>I have absolutely no words that could help you, living in a different country as I do, however, what everyone else said is what we have here.<P>It's after midnight here, and my eyes are falling out of my head, but I wanted to respond and let you know that you will be in my prayers today, tomorrow, and for a while.<P>I'm so very lucky with my situation here, please let me know if there's anything I can do for you. I don't want you to 'feel' 'anything' at this point with what I'm saying, (or not saying), other than the hand of friendship being offered. I don't want to say anything that may offend you, but I think you know what I mean. I mean that.<P>Please please take care of you, you beautiful thing. I can't believe you thought about me, with everything you and your H are going through. You are amazing.<P>Big big hugs to you, and let me know.<P>Jo

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Dylan,<P>I'm so sorry that I'm replying a bit late. I can imagine what you are going through. It is tough and I've been there. (In fact, we're still semi there).<P>What I kept doing was just praying & praying. I placed our lives into God's hand and kept the faith. In the end, it all worked out.<P>I wish you lived nearby, then I could bring some stuff over. Is there anything I can do for you?<P>I will be praying for you & your family. Please don't give up hope and keep the faith.

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Hi I am new to the forum and this crazy world of infidelity. Your post deeply saddens me. <P>Where I live, the company that we pay for our gas and electric has an EMERGENCY HEAT FUND for people in a jam. Can you call your gas company and find this out. If not, ask them what agency can help you and they should be able to give you a referral. If you have kids, it may be illegal for them to actually turn your heat off in the winter. Not positive, but I have heard something like that.<P>As far as the food, bring it back and I am sure they will replace it, that is a terrible thing. Also, try local churches, some have their own food banks, seperate from any main community one.<P>Do you have a Social Services Dept? Most have drastically cut help so low its pathetic, but they do have other resources such as referrals for you to other agencies. <P>As far as the bank and the mortgage, I worked at a bank several years, and I know they really don't ever want to have to forclose. You usually have a few months of lee way in some cases. If not, is there equity in the home? Could you possibly sell it off quick and at least get some money out of it before the foreclosure goes into effect and you lose it all? <P>I really wish I knew more info that could help you. I don't know your story, just your profile, and my H is tangled with a horrible person (OW , or as I refer to her as HW home wrecker ), but this kind of devastation is frightening.<P>I will say a prayer for you. I am very new to all this forum stuff, even religion, I am just a mess myself. But I hope things turn around for you. I know in a lot of the worst moments in my life, I thought, MY GOD can this get any worse, sometimes it did, but sometimes, just around the corner, were happier times ahead. Things happen for a reason, although total devastation to me doesn't seem needed. I pray you can find the help you need. <P>Oh one more thing, check the phone book under the local Lifeline agency , if you have one, they offer all kinds of referrals to different programs. Good luck.

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My H spends huge quantities of money because of his bipolar mania, so i know what it's like to have the bill collectors calling. I have found a few ways to make money on the net-legal, of course, but i don't want to get kicked off MB for marketing.<BR>email me at:<BR>joolstag@mail.com<BR>and i'll refer you to a few.<BR>(((((soulloss))))<BR>ps, H and i are getting along MUCH better than last week, but my finger still hurts [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>julie


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