Good afternoon all!

I figured now might be a good time for an update,,,,as I sit in my freezing cold hotel room in Columbus waiting for maintenance to come look at the heat.

So, let's see. Last weekend was very nice. Dinner at Morton's. Food was GREAT! Wine was Superb! Company was even better. We had a lovely time.

V continues to call and text. I don't accept his calls nor reply to his texts. He sent what I would call a "highly inappropriate" picture mail Saturday night when i was out with R. Not good. And certainly not the kind of thing I want to get nor would I associate with a man that would send that kind of thing to me.

Further drama ensued Monday morning after gettting an email from V's Ex wife,,,,,that he has cancer & is refusing treatment. The drama/issues/stories are becoming INCREDIBLE! I want no part of it whatsoever!!!

There have been a couple of calls from Drac. The one last week directly to me asking about the restructure at our work. Another last night asking if it was OK with me if Ladybug spend the night with a friend since she did not have school today due to the extreme cold.

WHAT? He's never called to ask my 'opinion' or input on what he allows her to do during HIS time????

Then, later last night he called again. Supposedly to let me know that he reminded Ladybug to call me but he forgot to remind her again before he left her friends house when he dropped her off. ????????????

He then hits me with a "do you want to know about x at work?". This proceeded into a 20 minute conversation about work. His fears of losing his job, etc.

I told him that I did not expect he would be cut. He's very good at what he does and is recognized for his work. He lamented about how this is "all he knows". I can't believe it myself, but I proceeded to reassure him that his skills can be applied to x,y, and z industries,,,,,that he shouldn't sell himself so short.

It went on with his worry about the current job market. AGAIN, here comes Bugs to reassure him that "There are jobs out there for the 'right' people, and when it comes to work, Drac, you are the 'right' people'.

What is wrong with me???? I can't believe I sat there for 20 minutes giving him such support and reassurance!!!

Ya know what? I don't feel bad or sorry about it. Even though HE does NOT DESERVE that from me,,,,,it makes me feel better to have done it because it was the right thing for ME.

Does that make sense?

So,,,,I haven't heard yet of any more changes at work but they are on the way. As SD said of his sitch, I am very blessed and will be fine no matter what may come. A nice severence package would be in store for me as well, and a change wouldn't be the worst thing to ever happen.

I am having dinner with R tonight and have a customer meeting in the morning. Then back home for a kid weekend. Ladybug can't wait to take me out for my bday Saturday,,,,I hope I get to pick the restaurant!! LOL!

I gotta run,,,,,,,,my fingers are FROZEN!! Time to get a new room!!!

Wow Bugs. And V seemed like such a good guy in the beginning. Goes to show that you never really know someone. That is why they caution against rebound relationships.

Stay warm. I'm so close to Columbus and wish we had time to grab a latte or something. Maybe next time.....

Stay warm...

Hi Bugs,

Just stopping by to see your travels and hear about life. My goodness President, but you keep busy in life.

Isn't amazing how drama follows us when we don't go looking for it.

I for one am glad that you are having dinner tonight with the 2nd man. I hope you have the most special and wonderful dinner in spite of the cold.

You are such a class act, and I know that G-d is looking down on your shining because you are being true to yourself and that's what he wants. To become who he always envisioned for you...

Let us know how it goes Madam President...

Drac doesn't deserve you, Bugs.

Morton's . . . mmm.

Stay warm, everyone!

Bugsy:

We talk alot about restraining orders around here, maybe it's time for you to get one against "V".

Sorry, you are a catch. But you don't need this.

LG

Hi Bugs,


It does to me.

It's not about Drac....it's about Bugs being...generous.... and being OK with it.

Hi everyone!

Thanks for the great support!

For now, LG, I don't think a restraining order is called for,,,but I will not hesitate should it get to that point. For now, it's just voice mail and text messages. It's just that the text messages have gotten more & more strange. Yesterday was the FIRST day that I had no communication attempts from V. Let's hope it is finally the end!

Yesterday was my bday. I had several text messages and a few phone calls from friends wishing me a happy day. Including a TM from Drac.

When I went to pick up DSS Friday, I had to call Drac to find out where DSS was, as he was not home. He didn't have school that day and apparently had gone over to a friend's house. That took 2 calls with Drac. Then, DSS gets there and I found out he is out of medicine AGAIN. This is like the 4th or 5th time recently and I'd had enough so I called Drac.

Of course, he didn't take responsibility, but tried to lay it on DSS. Turns out Drac HAD a script, but hadn't gotten it filled. He promised to fill it first thing Sat and bring it over in the am. Well, 2 phone calls later on Sat (which I let the kids answer and he did not ask to speak with me), he finally showed up at the house at 4 pm!! Thankfully, I had a dose for DSS at the house that I was able to give him that am.

Drac called when he was pulling up (I let DD answer). Guess he didn't want to come to the door? Anyway, she went out. Came back in to get DS. Went out and in a couple of more times. I did not get up or go to the door, but did look out the upstairs window at one time, as he was here for so long. He was standing outside the car playing with my dog!! Later when the kids called him, he didn't even have time to talk to DSS because he was "at dinner". That is what he tells Ladybugs when he's on a date thinking she won't figure it out! LOL!

I didn't really do much for my day. The kids were in the mood to just stay home and hang out. So, that's what we did. I was a bit 'down',,,no particular reason, but just feeling funky. Maybe it was a little bit due to having too much interaction with the Drac. Went to my mom's for dinner. Homemade pecan pie and chocolate cake!! That was it. I'm actually going to see R next weekend and will have a bday night then.

I should go shower and get ready for church. After, my BIL is to come over to look at my broken garage door! I am hoping he can fix and I won't have to replace!!! UGH!

I will try to catch up with everyone later today.

Belated Happy Birthday wishes, Bugs!

Happy birthday Bugs!!! Thank you for sharing your experiences here, you are an inspiration.

Happy B-day Bugs. My treat on that latte whenever we get together!!

Thanks for the well wishes everyone! Can't believe another year has come and gone.

In the shower this morning, I realized that the 2 year mark of Drac leaving has come and gone without a blip on my radar screen. He supposedly continues to fish in the match.com pond,,,,and while I wish I could say it doesn't bother me in the least,,,,,,,,,,it doesn't occupy my mind or tear up my emotions the way it once did. Frankly, I find it a bit sad & funny all at the same time. He sure is "Livin' the Dream", but it's certainly not any dream that I want a part of.

He did call again yesterday to give me a 'work' update on 2 folks that were let go yesterday. Also said that more would happen today. Thankfully, he would not be privy to any info about my department, so I know it's not about my job.

His aunt called me to tell me that his Aunt B is in the hospital. Aunt B watched Ladybugs as a baby & we have stayed close. She even called me last week to wish me a happy birthday. Drac hates it. She doesn't care! ha! She told them that if they were calling Drac to let him know she was not well, then they'd darn well better make sure to call me, too!

When I spoke to her daughter, I found out that Drac had not returned the voice mail,,,,,so when he called to tell me about the work stuff, I asked if he'd called them back. He said no. I let him know that he needed to call because Aunt B is in the hospital. He sounded surprised,,,,and I'm sure we are all in trouble because they called me. Oh well. As they say all of the time, "Drac divorced you. WE didn't! " ha!

So, I'm off this afternoon for a weekend at R's house. Am really looking forward to it. V continues to call & text. I don't respond,,,and really don't listen or read the messages. Maybe someday he'll finally stop?!

Hope you all have a great weekend! I gotta pack!

Oy.. sorry I missed your birthday Bugsy.. a happy belated one then!

Enjoy your trip! Sounds like you're doin just fine.

Yes, I like the intro




Starting to think R stands for Rico Suave



Can't believe I used to root for that guy


Have a nice weekend Love Bug!

I'm sure there will be lots of this , this , and very little of this

You, too!

Well, well,,,,,silence from BC until the mention of the shower! How do you always manage to show up at 'just' the right time?!

Yep,,V seems to have turned out to be a stalker of sorts. Thankfully not dangerous,,just sad & annoying. Had another TM from him last night. I didn't respond.

The weekend at R's was very nice. It was what I would call just very 'normal'. Just relaxing, watching a bit of tv, shopping, dinner, talking,,,,all of which was really fun. A good way to get to spend an average weekend getting to know each other. He even cooked for me!

Unless something comes up at work requiring me to travel his direction, we won't see each other for a couple of weeks.

I am very 'taken' with him so far. I find it a bit comforting and a bit strange all at the same time to now be 'seeing' someone I've known for several years. While I've always thought he was attractive, I never really thought beyond that since I was married when we met.

It does amaze me when I think about how things have changed. I do like the fact that even though he also thought I was attractive, he never did or said anything out of respect for me and my marriage. He even made it a point to 'wait' after my D to give me time to heal and so that I would be at a point where I would be open to possibilities. Hmmmmm,,,,there's a whole lot to find out about him yet, but I'm liking what I see so far. Time will tell.

Ladybug had a good weekend,I guess,,,apparently most of which was spent running around with Drac and his GF (the one from our work) Friday she called from a jewelry party that the GF took her to, and they were a bit late yesterday since they had to 'hurry up to go to K's house to set up her tv'. I thought it was 'off' betwen them, but apparently not, despite his still fishing in the match.com pond on a daily basis.

As much as I really do hate the fact that he is seeing someone from our work, I'm glad that I no longer am the one he is treating as an 'option' rather than first choice the way he is treating her. I wonder if she even has a clue? I might feel sorry for her if I didn't know a great deal about her history (she was close friends with the HO at their previous work but now it turns out they don't have a good word to say about each other,,,,,and this one knew all about their A,,,,and condoned it)

So, another fun and exciting work week begins. Friday was HORRIBLE with some very good friends/co-workers being let go. Many of them were such valuable assets to the company. Drac called me Friday morning to tell me about several of them,,,,,,,,,,,,and he was actually in tears. He is 'safe', but in fact is getting a 'promotion' (i.e. double his work) with no increase in pay. Don't know that that's really a promotion?!

So far, my position is safe, but that's not etched in stone. I'm not worrying about it, but it is a possibility that continues to hover about for now. As I've done for the past 16 years at this company, I'll just keep doing my job. Nothing else I can do. Worrying about it won't change anything. I know that no matter what happens, I'll be ok. Who knows,,,,,maybe I'll end up with a transfer closer to R?!??

I need to go check weather forecasts,,,I have a driving trip planned mid-week that may be impacted by some winter weather.

Have a good one!

Morning Bugs! Happy belated b-day! Sorry I missed that too!

You sound so wonderful! Great to hear that things are going so well for you! I need to do a little updating myself!

I love the fact that R never said anything to you either! Speaks to his intregity! THat has an awesome power right there!

As for V, he's hmmmm....

You are handling it great! Of course, I don't need to really tell you that!

AH...on the BC note! Amazing, simply amazing!

Hi Bugs,


Just want you to know, Bugs, you are the example I use to encourage myself that 'contact' with a WS/exWS is possible, if BS can figure out how to minimize/manage triggers or 'negative' effects of contact, and by being convinced that the only power WS has over BS is the one we GIVE or allow them to have....

I have now had at least 2 long conversations with WS. I HAVE needed to prepare myself BEFORE....A LOT!....because WSs are draining ...but I am quite satisfied with the results....some frustrations being vented on both parts... yet some 'knots' are being slowly unravelled as far separation of assets goes, which is my objective, while making it clear that, even though I am open to have discussions with him, I am NOT going the friendly co-parenting route. It's a question of balance....and it takes some work....but it can be done...at least, so far.

It looks like with the passage of time...and having had only a few exchanges already....it helps me feel less ANXIOUS about the exchange, which in turn allows me to keep a 'clearer mind' and can better 'hold my own' in our exchanges.

So, thanks for sharing. It has been really helpful to me.


so true..so true... good luck with this, Bugs. You deserve all the attention he is offering...and MORE!