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#2208087 02/07/09 03:19 AM
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I have just found out my H has been talking to a female friend WAY more than I originally thought. I know red flags everywhere...but I had talked to him about it and he insisted she was strictly a friend. ATM we are going through a "separation" due to my A that ended April '08.

I want to ask H more about the phone calls and texts he has been doing, but I dont know the best way to approach the topic. Right now he isnt sure he wants to be married to me because he cant get past the nightmares and thoughts about what I did. I am trying to be supportive of his decision but still show him I love him and want us to work on our M. I know he has every right to D me, but I do hope we can work things out.

The phone calls and texts though really bother me. I see all the warning signs that I demonstrated while I was in the A. I have talked to my MIL about the situation and she says there is no way he could be having an A. I do believe her too, but I cant get past the thoughts of "what if".

Because we are separated right now I dont feel I have the right to question every little thing he does, much less who he talks to. I still cant get past it. As far as exposing, im not sure how. I told his mom about what is going on and she has talked to him (she got the same response about being friends as I did). I have this girl's #, but she knows we are married, but separated.

What is the best way to approach this situation and try to talk about it with out pushing my H out the door completely?


Me: FWW 35
H: BS 33
Married 2002
DD: 3 yr old
D-day: 4/10/08
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Log the info and use it to show that you marriage is in danger when it gets more obvious.

Be cautious to send him here.

Have you been separated since April '08?


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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No since April '08 we have been workng on our M. We got pregnant a few months later--yes it was planned--and last month he told me he wasnt sure he was "in love" with me and needed some time to think. I had no clue he was still having problems as bad as they are because he never told me.


Me: FWW 35
H: BS 33
Married 2002
DD: 3 yr old
D-day: 4/10/08
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 114
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This weekend was really hard for me. My H and I had a baby shower his mom was giving us that a lot of people were coming to. My mom came down for the weekend to come to the shower and to come for moral support for me. It was nice to have her here.

I have been having problems with my H and his "friend" and the amount of time he has been on the phone with her. I didnt know how to approach him about it. I ended up sitting up one night and writing my thoughts down so I would have a nonconfrontational discussion with him. Because of my mom being here he stayed away most of the weekend (he thinks she hates him because of this situation). I had my mom read the letter I wrote and asked her if it sounded harsh or honest--she said it sounded like I was being honest about my feelings and that he shouldnt get angry about it. I was pleased with myself--the posts here and the books I have been reading have been very helpful in my recognition of LBs and I can consciously avoid them.

So back to the shower. It was supposed to be a very happy time for the both of us. Only a handful of people know that we are trying a separation and are having problems. At the shower, people were asking all kinds of questions about the baby and us, if we were ready, how was her room coming along, were we excited, etc. All normal questions for a happy couple to get excited about, only thing is we arent the happy couple that everyone thinks we are. Also, the gifts had alot of "I love Daddy" items and I wanted to cry every time I opened one. It just reinforced the fact that he isnt here with me. I enjoyed the shower and I was very thankful to my MIL for giving it to us. She almost cancelled it when H told her what was going on, but decided not to because I would need alot of help if H left. She is a wonderful person.

After the shower I wanted to have H come home with me and start sorting out things and getting them put away. He had other plans. I didnt mind that he was going out with his friends, he hasnt spent alot of time with them and he needs some friends right now too. While he was gone I started to cry, I couldnt keep it inside any longer. I had been checking out the phone records and noticed a pattern to his calls to "her". He calls her before he meets me, after he meets me, all night while he is out, when he wakes up, basically all day. I also noticed he called her from the shower--that was a slap in the face to me and made me cry that much more.

My mom had left right after the shower to drive back home (its a 5 hr drive for her) so I couldnt call her. I decided to go to my MILs house. She understood why I was upset and had no clue the extent of the phone calls H was making. She also told me about an x-friend of ours that has been noticing his activities on myspace. She had concerns about what was going on too. After hearing that I didnt feel like I was making this up, someone else was noticing the same things. My MIL and I talked for about 6 hrs about it.

When H came home after being out, I decided to go try to talk to him--nothing too heavy, just a friendly chat. Both of us were uncomfortable. It was like neither one of us knew what to say so we sat there and watched tv for an hour until he decided to go to bed. Surprisingly he stayed at the house, still sleeping in the spare room.

This morning I couldnt take it anymore. I had checked the phone records for last night to see how long he talked to her while he was out. I was outraged--he spent almost 200 min on one phone call with her. I decided it was time to read the letter to him. I read it and shook the whole time while I did it. After I felt better. His response was that I was way off. She is just a friend and someone he can talk to and be objective because she doesnt know me. He told me he has no feelings for her and that I will never see her number on our phone bill again--he was gatting another phone to talk to her on. He said he would not stop talking to her at all no matter what I said and that hurt alot. I told him that I saw all the signs from when I was doing the same thing. It just pops out to me because I did them too. He doesnt see it as the same thing because he doesnt view her as anything more than a friend.

The discussion went on to get more involved in our situation and he told me that he had this one night that a recurring nightmare of me in our bed with the OM really scared him and he took it as a sign that he needed to think about our R. He decided that he wasnt "in love". I told him he should have told me about it so we could have talked it over and I could have reassured him that the A was over and I was here with him forever. I tried to explain about this site and the books I have read, but he wants nothing to do with it. He kept telling me that he needed space and time to think.

Tonight we got to talk again. He needs space and I told him I wouldnt be the one to be the aggressor for anything. I have been trying to keep showing him I am here for him and want us to work out, but I seem to be pushing him away. I told him if he wants to talk with me he can call me, he still wants to know that I get home safe from work so I will call him, but if I get his vm, ill leave a message or text him. I wont keep calling him. He seems to be appreciative of this, but at the same time is telling me I dont have to do that. I can call him or text him and talk whenever I want to. This seems to be a contradiction to me. If he wants space why would he tell me not to cut contact with him? He still hugs me and kisses me (not romantically) and says I love you.

He still has strong feelings for me, but doesnt think we are going to work out. He would like us to because we have had some good times together and before all this A stuff happened we were happy (for the most part). I want to Plan A him, but he is unwilling to fill out any questionnairs (EN or LB) and wants nothing to do with counselling, reading, or any help. He says he is waiting for that feeling of "I cant live with out you" to happen again for him. I have little hope that this will just happen out of nowhere, especially if he is talking to "her" and not me. I know a few of his ENs but one is out of the question atm (SF).

He wrote a blog on his myspace about his job and the hard work it is and the danger involved. I commented that I was proud of him and that I will stand by him no matter what because I love him for what he is doing. This was supposed to be something I was doing to help out his need for admiration. Unfortunately someone he had as a friend commented back about my comment and it wasnt quite so nice. H deleted half of his page and that friend because of it. So much for my boost of admiration for him.

I know some people dont think highly of me for hurting him in the past, but it was his choice to take me back and work on this R. It is unfortunate that I am trying to show him that I do think the world of him and love him so much and they have to ruin it.

I want to keep showing him that I have changed and that this is the real me now. O&H about everything and committed to him 100%. He needs space and I am willing to give it to him, but he seems to not really want the space. I am so confused as to what he wants from me. I ask and he says dont push, let him have space, let him have his friends. And in the next breath he says he doesnt mind me calling him, texting him, and he wants to spend some time with me every now and then, tells me he loves me, hugs/kisses me. AND on top of all this my hormones are raging because of the pregnancy.... crazy


Me: FWW 35
H: BS 33
Married 2002
DD: 3 yr old
D-day: 4/10/08
Joined: Jan 2009
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Im not sure if anyone reads this and has anything to say, but its nice to vent sometimes. Yesterday was a tough one for me. My H wants space to find his feelings and do what he needs to do to be himself. I agreed to this only because it seems that if I do what I think I need/want to do to show him I want to stay married it just pushes him away.

It seems I have effectively pushed him away now not knowing it. I thought it would be better for him to have some time to be apart from me to see that this is where he wants to be, but its not. He instantly changed his myspace to "single". I hate myspace and the pain it causes so many people.

I know im probably doing everything all wrong with my R right now. Im scared, hurt, confused, and in need of a friend. Only thing is im not going out and finding someone to fill that position because I thought I had a H to fill it. He told me he wants to be friends, that he still loves me, and that he wants to be here for me. All that seems like a lie right now.

He doesnt see what he is doing and wont even talk to his parents right now about it. His dad told him when all this started not to hurt me--he idolizes his dad and wont even talk to him now. I thank God for my MIL. With out her I wouldnt be in the state of mind I am right now. She listens to me and doesnt judge me. She cant believe what her son is doing--its not him.

Love is a wonderful thing, but it sure can hurt alot of the time too. I still love my H and want us to work out. I want to show him I love him, but I think I need to start showing him how it is to be on his own, not married anymore. Seems that is what he wants.

He told me that if he had known what I was doing when my A started he would have stopped me and fixed our M. I tried to do just that and he doesnt think it is the same. I see the signs and know what is coming but cant get through to him about it. And his excuse is that I have hurt him too much and he cant get past it.

Should I keep trying to Plan A him, or go to Plan B? I dont want to cut him off totally because I have 5 weeks left of my pregnancy and want him to be in the baby's life. He wants to come to the Dr. apointments and be apart of the process, but doesnt want to be around me. He helped make this baby and wont stand by me now.

I tried to work it out so i could talk to Dr. Harley, but i cant afford that right now. I wish I could. I need some instruction right now. I think I need to call my Dr. about some anti-depressants if I can take them, or some other kind of treatment. I want my baby to stay healthy and this situation is hurting me too bad.

If anyone has a suggestion as to Plan A/B it would be appreciated.


Me: FWW 35
H: BS 33
Married 2002
DD: 3 yr old
D-day: 4/10/08
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psc_77: If I were you I would ask your MIL/FIL for some $$ so you can talk to the Harleys counselors. Beg, borrow, do whatever you can to get some IC help.

You are in a tough situation because of your previous A and what seems like your husbands current A. Double trouble. ICK.

I wish I had more words of wisdom for you. Hope for the best for you and your child.


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So sorry to read this, psc. I can't advise you to Plan A or Plan B as I'm no expert, struggling myself to save a marriage that I betrayed.

I was looking around MB to see if I could gather more info about you and your situation since you don't include a signiture on your posts. You've started quite a few independent threads. It'll be much easier for folks to follow your story and to help you if you keep your story under one single thread. If you want that thread to be this one, can you answer the following to paint a more complete picture?

Married when?
First marriage for both?
Ages of you and H?
Any other children?
Was your A an EA or PA?
How did it start?
When did it start?
How long did it last?
How was your A discovered?
How does H know this "friend"?
Where is "friend" geographically in relation to you and your H?
Has H spent any time with friend since D-day that you know of?
You state you're separated yet H is sleeping in your home. Does he stay there all the time or does he have his own place now?

Because you and I have BTDT, we know that your H is having at a minimum, an EA with this OW. I'm all for going Plan A while snooping and gathering evidence so you can widely expose when right. When you typed this, "He told me he wants to be friends, that he still loves me, and that he wants to be here for me. All that seems like a lie right now," you know that your H is cake-eating, right? But again, I give way to the experts.

Where I will speak up is on something more immediate considering you're about to give birth any day here.

I'm worried about you. You're very pregnant, you're now stressed about your M, and you sound like you have no support system other than your MIL. In addition, if you're like me, you're still trying to process your own A -- the how-could-I-have-done-this-to-people-I-care-for processing and dealing with the emotions that entails.

Do you belong to a church, have a neighbor, a former co-worker, or anyone you could trust to support you now? You need someone to encourage you to take care of yourself and to be there when your H isn't around since it's apparent that he's distracted by this OW -- even avoiding his own extended family.

Of course you can't not worry about your H and what's happening because you love him, but you can't control your H. You must care of your baby and yourself first. These are things that you CAN control.

As you've already experienced, there are many here to help if you need to vent, need an objective point-of-view, a reality check, a laugh, or prayers.

Take care, psc.


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Confessed: 10/08
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Your H is having an affair, you know that, don't you?
When he says he "needs space" what he means is "Don't interfere in my affair."

What are his top ENs?
What LBs are you guilty of?
Is OW married?
Does she work with your WH?

Plan A
Expose - to OW's H, to OW's parents, to your parents, to the head of HR and the CEO of their work place, to siblings, to your priest, anyone who will have an influence on H and his affair.

Quit pretending like everything is hunky-dory. Quit covering up for him.

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Thank you for your replies.

L4 here is a little back ground of me.

H and I married 2002, 1st for both. This is our first child, and yes she was planned. I am 31 and H is about to be 30 in a few months.

My A started as an EA--met online playing WoW (dont play anymore). It started at the end of 2006--November-ish. It was strictly a friendship--much like H is doing now. It turned to a PA July 2007, I had gone to meet him in another state my G-parents happened to live in. My excuse for going was to take care of them (both in their 90's). He lives in the southern end of the state and my g-parents in the north. I met the OM 2 times, july and october 2007. After that I started having my doubts about him, but I wasnt ready to be totally committed to H. I came home in Feb of 2008--the 13th to be exact so its been almost a year to the date I have been home. D-day was April 10, 2008. H had suspected things and I kept denying. I ws still in contact with OM after I came home. I didnt know how to end it without H finding out. OM ended up contacting H through e-mail and told him what was going on. H had contacted him first and got no reply, and when I stopped talking to OM he decided to tell H what had gone on. It took us about a week to recover from the shock, and H made me call OM and tell him it was over. Looking back we have done some MB ways with out even knowing it.

As far as H and his "friend" goes. He met her in Oct. 2008 at a college football game with some friends of his. She became friends with a few of them--adding them all on myspace. I noticed H added her to his list and put her as a top friend, but he never mentioned her and she didnt do much on his page. Comments every now and then, but nothing out of the ordinary. I started noticing more activity from her, but didnt think much of it--myspace tends to be a drama site if you look into it too much.

H started pulling away from me this Jan and on the 15th he told me he wasnt "in love" with me. Until this point I had no clue he was calling her at all. H told me a week or so later that he had been talking to her, I didnt think anything of it--she was a friend to a few of the guys and H has told me that he would never do anything with out telling me it was over. I found out though the cell phone records that she lies in Texas--we are in Louisiana. Close, but still far enough away. H is a cop and had a really good case get picked up by the DEA. He talked to them about what he needed to do to join, if he ever wanted to. They told him that the San Antonio PD has the same training and if he could get on with them, he could make it in the DEA. He told me he was going to go see if he could at the end of Feb he was going to go apply. We had a discussion about "her" around the same time and I voiced my concern about the amount of time he was talking to her--all times of day/night, and that it was real convient if he wanted to see her that he would be in Tx soon. He told me he hadnt thought of that, and that he wouldnt do that. As far as I know it has all been through myspace, email, and phone. I do know her cell phone is based out of.....San Antonio....quite convient if you ask me. It scares me that he is going there and she isnt far away. I did a little snopping on the SAPD website about the hiring, to see if his dates matched up with theirs. His date of applying is correct, but he told me that he could take the test the next day and the test isnt offered until March 25. My due date is March 20. I am VERY upset about that and I hope and pray he doesnt leave me to test while I am about to have his baby.

At the moment we have a spare bed in the soon-to-be baby's room. H stays there when he sleeps over. The rest of the time he is at his parents house. He has a key to his partner's apartment, but stays at the parents house because it is closer to me in case I need him.

For our state legal separation doesnt have to be used, word of mouth stands up in court when it comes to a D if both parties agree on dates and such. Right now nothing is split he just isnt living here. It might be the wrong way of doing things, but it is easier financially for both of us.

I hope this clears up a few things for anyone reading.


Me: FWW 35
H: BS 33
Married 2002
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D-day: 4/10/08
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For our state legal separation doesnt have to be used, word of mouth stands up in court when it comes to a D if both parties agree on dates and such. Right now nothing is split he just isnt living here. It might be the wrong way of doing things, but it is easier financially for both of us.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but your husband is having a full-blown affair. Maybe it hasn't become PA yet, but that's in the works with his planned trip to Texas.

The good news is that I don't think he can file for divorce while you're pregnant. AND if he moves to Texas, he won't be able to file here (I live in Texas) until he's been a resident for a certain amount of time.

This means you have time.

Have you done any exposure besides his family?

Do you know who this OW is? Is she married? Does she have family that you could expose to? Have you exposed to his work? Is he using company time to contact her?

Be prepared if you do exposure for him to go ballistic. They pretty much all do. But the thing is, your marriage can survive his anger over exposure, it cannot survive an active affair.

You've got a double whammy on you because of your own adultery. But hopefully, you have done everything possible to recover from that and learned a new way of thinking about your marriage. It is precious and the vows you made should never be taken lightly.

The most important thing for you to do right now is take care of yourself physically. Your health and the baby's health are at risk here. You're going to need your strength when the baby comes.

So sorry you're here.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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TH, I have been doing alot of thinking about ENs, LBs and I have asked H to sit down to do the questionnairs with me. He flat out refuses to do anything that might help us. I have looked back at past experiences/behaviors and I think his top 3 are SF, O&H, and Admiration. SF is out of the question right now, he wants nothing to do with me that way. O&H I have been since D-day, and I continue to be so. H doesnt believe me, btu my story hasnt changed and wont. Admiration, I tried to respond to a myspace blog about his job and told him how proud I was of the work he does and he deleted half his page. Said someone else wrote something nasty about what I had written and he didnt appreciate it. He said he deleted that person too. I asked my MIL who she thought it was and she doesnt think he deleted anyone. We both this the "friend" made a comment and he didnt want anyone finding out.

As for LBs, I realized just now when you asked that I am guilty of DJ. I am trying to push books, this site, and anything else I can on him to get him to want to recover. I wont do that anymore. He has refused anyways. I am also guilty of selfish demands. I want him here with me right now because I am pregnant and hurting from him and need someone to comfort me. I keep asking him not to take the spare bed out so he has a place to stay if he comes here, and I have told him that I still want him to come spend time with me. I am doing it because I want him here with me and not off with anyone else, even if he has a legitimate reason he cant be here.

I want to expose, but I dont have anyone I know of close to "her" that I could tell. My MIL and I talk on a daily basis about this. My mom also knows and tries to help me out. I could tell his friends here, I know a few of them already know about her. When my A was discovered, we didnt tell anyone other than the parents. I will need to come clean to his friends, but I dont want them thinking I am trying to get back at him for wanting to leave me.

L4 you had asked me also if I had anyone else to talk to here, unfortunately I do not. I have a few co-workers that I could talk to, but being a manager it is a fine line to cross between boss and worker. I dont want to make it strange at work for anyone. Most of my friends live out of the area, but I am going to my parents this week and will get a chance to talk to one of them.


Me: FWW 35
H: BS 33
Married 2002
DD: 3 yr old
D-day: 4/10/08
Joined: Jan 2009
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Oh, forgot to add, OM isnt marriend but has a boyfriend according to H. My question is, why is she talking to my H ALL DAY AND NIGHT, when does she spend time with her BF? I am keeping tract of the phone records. H isnt hiding them and when I confronted him about the amount of time he was talking to her, he said "you wont see her number again, ill get a new phone like you did". Because I was there where he is, I see all the signs and know what is coming. Im not oblivious to this. I did tell him that he didnt have to incurr another bill and that IF this is purely innocent I have no problems with him talking to her. Also this is a way I can see how much he talks to her.


Me: FWW 35
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D-day: 4/10/08
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Originally Posted by psc_77
L4 you had asked me also if I had anyone else to talk to here, unfortunately I do not.
Your H is a cop who doesn't sleep at your home much and who is making plans to be out of state as your baby's due date nears. If not for someone to talk to, is there at least someone who can be there for you physically to assist you? You don't have to embroil this person(s) in the troubled details of your M, but someone you can befriend to be there on a moment's notice should you go into labor or need a pickup from the pharmacy or delivery of an emergency ration of ice cream? You can tell people that you're going through a rough patch with your H but don't want to discuss it further if you want to keep things private. But ask the person(s) if you can call on them should you need anything.

A neighbor who is at home during the day? A cousin? A former co-worker whom you don't manage any more? Just thinking aloud, here...

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Thankfully my MIL doesnt work and only lives a few min away from me. She is ready at a moments notice to help me out and has. I do have a couple that are friends of ours I can talk to possibly. H told me they do know that we are having problems at the moment so maybe I could have them for some support. Its a plus too--she is a nurse.


Me: FWW 35
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D-day: 4/10/08
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Originally Posted by psc_77
I want to expose, but I dont have anyone I know of close to "her" that I could tell.
You know she lives in the San Antonio area.
You know her phone number.
Do you know her name?

You could probably find out a lot of info on her from a site like intelius.com, or you could hire a PI. A PI could tell you if she's married, possibly where she works, possibly who her parents are and their contact info, all kinds of things... but I don't know how much they'd charge.

I wouldn't give any credence at all to his statement that OW has a boyfriend. He's just saying that to make you not be jealous. For all you know she's married and has eight kids.

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PSC

You know the reality of this situation. He's having an A. The cr@p he's telling you is just that...cr@p. He needs his space to carry on his A. You know that. So you have to start a plan.

Right now you won't be able to do what most can do because of your pregnancy. You are going to have to settle back and take care of the baby and yourself FIRST. This is your first child and it is exhausting. Add in the emotional turmoil that is already in your life and you will have a melt down. So let's see what you can do before the baby comes.

My suggestion is that you plan A doing both the carrot and the stick of Plan A. You continue to gather info without telling him what you have. Stop talking about your M with him. Show him by your actions what life will be like at home with you and the baby. Get the baby room squared away. Decorate it. Make the rest of the house inviting and homey. Find a intermediary. Someone who supports your M and can be the go between for you and your WH. They need to know EXACTLY what their role is and how to protect you from his daily drama. YOU WILL HAVE ENOUGH DRAMA TAKING CARE OF YOUR BABY. Get your support system into place. Without your WH to help care for the baby you are going to need help from MIL and others at first. ASK THEM FOR ASSISTANCE NOW. Let them know what you will need. Get that part of your life in order as best as you can because EVERYTHING changes the moment that baby arrives.

In a normal family environment when a baby arrives, most things go out the window until a routine is developed and things settle down. This doesn't take too long, maybe a month, so that is when I think you should go into plan B. You'll have planned A for over a month, you'll have gotten your ducks in a row, you'll have delivered the baby and you'll have settled down into your routine. Your WH can still be a part of the delivery, hopefully bond some with his child and REALLY HOPEFULLY see what he would be giving up prior to plan B.

Those are my thoughts and you should only consider them as such. As someone else posted, a call to The Harleys would be beneficial if you could swing it. They are the experts!

I'm more concerned about you and the baby right now rather than your M. The baby is coming. You are going to HAVE to prepare for his/her care and the health and sanity of yourself. And the peace that you can find in Plan B will help you during this difficult time, a time when most women are pushed emotionally and physically to places they never knew before.

I think you've got to start planning.


BW(me)
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DDay PA 6/05
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My suggestion: Don't believe anything your H has to say about the OW. Do what you can to find out more about her.

Then, call the OW. Tell her your H's W with a child on the way, and tell her to butt out of your M. Do not wait for a response, and especially don't try to appeal to her sense of reason to give up the inappropriate relationship with your H.

If H is lying to you about OW, he's likely lying to OW about you.



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psc_77 Offline OP
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Today wasnt so bad after I got to work. It kinda took my mind off things for a while. I havent pushed talking to H today and for some strange reason he decides to start texting me. Its a nice change that he is starting things, not me.

I had told him Monday that I would give him some space. I had been calling him, trying to keep some communication open. He doesnt want me to keep pushing so I stopped. Low and behold, he is calling me and texting now. He told me today that he knows how much I am hurting right now and is going to try harder to be more sensitive to me and not shut me out.

I am still cautious about things because I know its WAY too soon to think things have changed. Its just ironic to me that when I stop communicating so much to him, he starts. I will take any communication from him I can get right now. Anything to try to have some time with him and let him see that its not so bad here.

He stopped by after he got off work tonight and sat with me talking/watching tv for about an hour. I know its hard on him right now too, he is hurting bad from my A still. But running away from the problem wont fix it.

I know we will have good days and bad days. I hope that the good days out number the bad ones. His myspace still says single and that hurts, but I cant change it. I just have to deal with it for right now.


Me: FWW 35
H: BS 33
Married 2002
DD: 3 yr old
D-day: 4/10/08
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 114
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psc_77 Offline OP
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Myspace....lots of drama....

Would it be causing more problems than its worth to start leaving comments for H when OW leaves them too? Everyone of his friends can see what she leaves, innocent or not it raises questions. I dont want to start a fight, but I want people to know I still love him and im still in his life.


Me: FWW 35
H: BS 33
Married 2002
DD: 3 yr old
D-day: 4/10/08
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,496
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PSC

This is the drama that I am referring to in my other post. If you have exposed the A to friends who can influence him to stop the A, and have told them that you are trying to save your M already there is no reason to engage in this game. You cannot control him, OW, anybody but you. Will it make a difference if you post? What will that do?


I honestly don't see any good in that.


BW(me)
DDay EA 4/05
DDay PA 6/05
In recovery
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