Just want to get peoples views....which is worse? Are they both the same? Why?

Thanks

I don't know. Which is worse, getting run over by a Jeep or run over by a Ford Explorer?

:ROTFLMAO: you crack me up

I can't believe nobody else has an opinion on this?

dey all agree with me!! :twobyfour:

Who's drivin' the Jeep? If it's Mel, I think I'd prefer the Ford "Exploder"...

Mrs. W

:ROTFLMAO: Is the Jeep the LTA?

My JEEP can be anything you want it to be, Vladie!

Okay you are all crazy people here.

I'll answer your question MFL.

My H had LTA, part of what I struggle with is the lies for soooooo long. And the emotional aspect for soooooooo long.

There both as bad as each other. In the long run someone close always gets hurt.

Whichever one is within your personal experience is worse.

My ex decided she wanted to be single again and started advertising herself as available. She went out with a bunch of guys.

I was initially lost on MB since all the plans focus more on LTA than general wayward behavior.

Now, in hindsight, I wish I had simply had someone there to warn me of the danger of giving her everything in the divorce, including custody.

I think that for the purposes of recovery a LTA might be harder to get over for the BS.

I think i would have to agree with Mel on this one!!!!

I think the LTA is harder to get over than the ONS because of this.

By being lied to for a long time, it makes you question if anything during that time was true and real.

How to answer this? I found out about FWH's 7 month PA from phone records. During our 1st counseling session, he blurted out that he had had a drunken ONS 4 years earlier a few weeks after he returned home from Iraq. I have gone back and forth between the betrayal from both those A's.

However, for me it is the LTA with the co-worker that has been worse. The ONS really scared him then and he really has not drunk much since nor does he put himself in situations where a ONS was likely to occur. We have talked about this alot, if he was so remorseful (to himself, because I did not know) after the ONS, then why did the LTA occur? He says he did not see it coming and still has no idea of when the EA portion of the A began.

Stinks to be hit with both a Jeep and an Explorer.

AM

I think the LTA is much worse. I dont think there is much withdrawal if any with a ONS. Knowing my husband said I LOVE YOU to another women within our marriage is hard to take!

This is a tough question for me... I'm still trying to clasify my wifes affair... about 3 weeks total, less than a week for the PA. She says that she didn't feel love for him. That kind of rocks my boat a bit knowing that my wife can separate love from sex so readily. I can't even do that. This may be because her first marriage had escalating physical abuse going on for about 18 years.

I have to agree with lady_blue. However, as Believer said, it's whatever happened to you and my WstbxH had (is still having) a LTA. I'm pretty sure I could have gotten past the sex but all the lying, sneaking around, stealing from the joint account and essentially ripping the floor out from under me to accommodate his new true love. Not to mention the really hurtful things - like actually photoshopping her into our wedding pictures and wanting all our wedding gifts because our families truly meant them for her not me ( ). These were the things that hurt.

myfamilyilove

For some BS's any act of betrayal will cause them to end their marriage. They will not forgive any transgression. That is their right. It did not matter to these BS's if it was a ONS or LTA.

This is also such an non question for those BS's that want to recover.

The length of the affair has shown that it doesn't matter.

The BS is crushed on D day, totally crushed.

BS's usually want to recover whether it's from an EA, ONS, 6 day, 6 month, 6 year PA.

No matter what was done during the PA and for how long the PA lasted.

The BS does not say well thank god that my WS only banged the OP 49 times because if I had found out it was 50 times I would of been out of here. They accept what happened as facts of the affair and work to recover.

BH's have stayed and knowing that that their WW was pregnant by the OM. Where the WW agreed to go NC with the OM but refused to give up her OC. Forcing the BH to accept the OC and pay for and raise it as his own. Yes he got to keep his marriage, and family intact for the COM.

How does it matter if the knocked up WW just mentioned had an affair for ONS or a PA for ten years?