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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1
R
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R
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1
I donlt know where to start....I;m new to this site.

My husband thinks that i wanna cheat on him and It;s not true.
I cant; have friends...can;t go out anywhere without him telling me where I was, with who, they where men there and stuff like that.

This is not something new...it was the same from the beginning but I thought that he's gonna learn about me and all thin nonsence is gonna go away. But NO...he thinks that i flirt with everybody, smile at them ... nobady else can see this ...only him because he knows me and he knows how everybody is and everybody wants sex.

Well...I don;t want sex more than i have...my sex drive is very low ...i was almost abused when i was a kid and i am not crazy about sex.

He watches porn all the time...i catch him couple of times.

I need help...i really don;t wanna leave him...i did not get married to cheat ar leave my husband.

I grew up all fashion...i was virgin when we got married.

How to deal with his gelosy?

Please help.

Thanks.

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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C
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
Would you be comfortable reading a book in English? There is an amazing book that will help you see what is going on in your marriage.

It's called Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft.

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 285
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 285
Suggest you read the Basic Concepts. Sounds like your H has an unmet Emotional Need for sexual fulfillment.

Your 'low libido' might make him wonder if you want someone else.

If you were able to meet his need, what you call 'jealousy' and 'controlling behaviour' might disappear. There is a lot of good information on this site about how to meet the need for SF in a way that you can BOTH be enthusiastic about.

If you H THINKS you're flirting, even if you're sure you're not, fact is what you're doing is causing him pain, and one of the basic concepts is never to be the cause of your partner's unhappiness.

So according to MB principles, the behaviour (smiling at other men, touching, hugging, meeting for coffee, whatever it might be, within reason) must stop.

Can you give some more details about the things you do that H is concerned about?


Me 49 SAHD; W 41 SAHM; DS3, DS4.
Seven year affairage.

Moderated by  Fordude 

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