It has been a long time since I last posted here. Many changes in my life since my last update. Where to start...

Got a JOB!: landed a job at a local university mid October. I'm either a pretty good candidate, or a lucky-[censored]...probably a little of both. Learning curve is steep, but it's been great to get back in the workforce. I continue to teach night class, administer some web sites and of course shoot pictures. Even created an LLC for my businesses. The down side is me and the kiddos leave the house @ 6:30 AM every day (they head off to before and after school care) and we get home around 6:00 PM nightly. Long days. Throw in class prep and night class from 6PM to 930PM thursdays and you have a long week. Ug.

Settlement talks: We began discsusions in September, but STBx has had some ups and downs. We have since moved our discussions to e-mail, which I believe is helping her move forward. It's been difficult at times, but I'm confident we will reach a resolution that will work for both of us and minimize atty fees. When things get difficult I remind myself that we need to do what's best for the DDs first. They are and always should be our #1 priority.

My frequenting this and other forums: I came to the realization that coming to this and other forums was not helping me move forward. In fact, reading posts here just pulled me backwards. I would read and remember some minute detail of her affairs, our marriage, and get sucked back in to the negative feelings, the anger, the pain. So I did what I had to do...I weaned myself from these forums. I had to. I quit coming here because I needed to move forward with my life. And I believe I have.

I could say more, in some ways I want to say more...but doing so would only elicit replies, questions, suck me back in to these forums. Right now I cannot do that. #1, I simlpy don't have the time. #2, I need to continue moving forward. #3, i'd probably get banned anyway (maybe I should just write it and be done...)

That is all for now. The kiddos are adjusting. I'm adjusting. I'm moving forward. LG, out.

Hi Lawful>

I'm marking exams again tomorrow. No pay for this service.

I hope you get it together for the kids. Nice to hear from you, Old Chap.

Hey LG! Thanks for the update. Congratulations on your new job. I am so glad you are getting on so well. take care, LG.

LG,
So glad to hear you are at peace with your decisions and are moving forward.

God Bless you and your family.

Gg

LG,

Glad to hear things are going better for you. Hope you and the children find a way to better balance your lives.

God Bless,

JL

December 26th will forever be a day I do NOT look forward to.

It was this day exactly one year ago that I got up, made her coffee, breakfast and packed her lunch...and kissed her goodbye as she left for work. It was this day a year ago that she left her e-mail open.

A med-school friend of hers had an affair (+baby), and gone through a divorce. I saw an e-mail from him and opened that e-mail, wondering how he was doing. As I read I could feel something was not right. I read more. The more I read the worse it got. December 26th, 2008 became D-Day #2 (OM#3). Ick.

Dec 26th 2008 set in motion a string of events that would eventually lead to Plan D. It has been a heartbreaking, emotional journey filled with ups and downs. I've learned so much about myself, grown as a person, as a man, as a father, husband and friend. I've watched closely this past year. Watched her lack of effort last winter and spring. Watched her make wholesale changes in her life after handing her divorce papers. I was patient and knew that this must be a divorce.

And most recently I've watched her slip back in to her old self. All the things she did last summer to "win me back" to have "just one more chance", all those things have stopped.

Last summer she read the books, she counseled with Dr. Harley himself, she purchased me flowers, brought me clothes, food, spent great quality time with the kids, started going to church again, counseled with our pastor, apologized to my family promising them she would do anything to make this up to me. Even told me to take it all, the house, her retirement, all the insurance...it meant nothing to her...just take it all.

Now a few months later all that has changed. All that has stopped. Can't say that I'm surprised.

Christmas was hard as kiddos were with her. Got snowed in so it was just me and the pooch. Good time for reflection, but also a sad time. Going to get the kiddos here in a few...looking forward to giving them presents from me. Happiness in small doses. Take care and God Bless. Merry Christmas, LG

LG,

I'm sorry you are having a challenging time. The good news... This year is over in about 16 hours and you will NEVER have to go through this day again.

You are taking care of yourself, you are posting and you are learning to take the rough times, turn them inward and reflect on who YOU are which is all you can do.

Happiness in small doses indeed.

Take care of yourself and be good to yourself, and gentle too.

May this be a fast but enjoyable day with your children and that your love and relationship for them shadows any negativity.

LG, the first Christmas is the darkest time, friend, but I am here to tell you, it won't always be this dark. You have made it through the worse and will come out of this. So sorry you spent your Christmas alone.

I am hoping you got it in writing that "you could have it all">

This can serve you well later if you end up in the divorce court process.

Yes, I do have in writing. And she told my fmaily she would "do anything to make this up to me..."

Good. If she messes with you again TAKE IT ALL and walk away. She is terrible. I am amazed you go for her "cute" act.

LG,

It was good to see your update. The anniversaries are tough, but it seems you are tougher. Hang in there and when all of this is over remember something that is very important in this season. Forgiveness is a gift, something you give that is not earned or even deserved. In the end it is really a gift for yourself as well.

It sounds as if your life is improving, it sounds as if your kids are adjusting, and it sounds as if you are growing. Keep up the good work.

God Bless,

JL

Good riddance 2009...the most difficult year of my life. Hello 2010...better days ahead!

ditto...Cheers!

x3. Get thee behind me 2009!

We are very close to a divorce settlement agreement...and reaching and end to this awful ordeal. My banker will be consulting with me this week to discuss options on the house. I�m crossing my fingers that he will have good advice, and the STBx and I will agree on terms�

Crossing my fingers, saying prayers, hoping for the best. It has been a loooooong 10 months. LG

Live long and prosper, my friend...

And may the Force be with you.

(How it irks me that sometimes people forget to capitalize it. It's a PROPER NOUN!..)

Update: STBx and I agreed on divorce settlement. Selling the house and splitting profit or loss. She's meeting with her atty next week to write up papers.

Kiddos sad about moving...

Job going well. Life moving forward. Spring is just about here. LG, out

LG:

From one LG to another:

Good luck, and Godspeed...

You fought the good fight, and are better for it.

Someone is goingto benefit from that, from your children to your next SO.

LG