How come I can help save everyone's marriage except my own? As many of you know, I have been dating a woman who is divorced (1 1/2 years; 2 girls). Well not anymore. I helped convince her to take another look at her marriage! Yup, I am not going anywhere, I'll stay and be her friend, but I am stepping aside. It's the right thing to do. Don't be givin' me any of those {{{hug}}} things, it's not necessary. She told me we met for a reason, maybe this is it. Funny, God keeps giving me gifts, I feel better every single day! Lonely yes, lonely and as strong as I can be!<P>Eric32

Okay, none of those (((((Eric32))))) things for you, even though you deserve them! Wow, you must be a remarkable man (with the emphasis on the man part) to put your feelings aside, and do what you obviously think is best.<P>I too believe in fate, and that everything happens for a reason. Probably my way of coping with some of the troubles I have encountered in life.<P>I am not familiar with your profile, but perhaps by you encouraging your friend to try again with her husband, maybe that will leave the space open for your wife to reenter a relationship with you? <P>Hope all your wishes come true, as you do seem like a man that any woman would be proud to call husband. Good Luck.<P>------------------<BR><BR>SUCCESS STORY<P>

hello eric,<BR>okay, no hugs today! Are you feeling that you have learned the lessons too well? <BR>The woman you dated just did not know herself well enough? The ole cliche comes to mind...better now then later? <BR>Sounds very frustrating to me.

I truly believe that whatever goes around comes around and I am sure that if one of those (((((((HUG)))))))) things is just sent out in the air it would probably circle around to you right now! <BR>Though your stepping aside it doesn't sound as though your too unhappy, maybe your just thinking more of the other person than yourself, the true mark of a generous spirit! God will bless you just as you have blessed others by your presence!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P><BR>

Hi Eric,<P>I can only think how wonderful for those two little girls!!!!! (if their parents do get back together) You can go through life with a smile on your face.

I had a feeling I'd take alot for that hugs comment! I don't mean to say I don't appreciate the kind comments, I wanted to make it clear that this was not a SAD situation, although it may seem so. How can it be sad when a family may reunite? Yes, I realyy do care for her, this is definitely for the best. <P>cl,<BR>I am not frustrated in the least. I feel like I am on top of the world. Right is right; Eric does right because it's right, not for me only. It wasn't a better now than later thing, the timing was right on. She talks kindly of her ex, they get along well and he seems like a good guy. They had typical problems that got bottled up and gave up. I htink she knows herself well actually, now a days no one tells anyone to work on their marriages -just dump 'em. Maybe she just needed someone to point that out, probably didn't expect it from me. I think that makes it even more special to me. I have warm fuzzies right now ! She told me after listening about how I treat my W, despite my hurts, I inspired her to maybe take another look, but wasn't sure until our convo. There isn't a person that cannot make a positive difference in this world. I am proud to still be able to think this way despite what I have gone through. I have many here to thank (you especially, cl) for being able to not only successfully negotiate this, but share it with another who can hopefully use it to reunite her family. Power? That is true power, power of good and of God !<P> I don't know what this event means for my life. I have learned not to anticipate life, just to enjoy what comes. I cannot expect that this will influence my W, I have shared it with her and (as with all else) she will do with it what she will. I didn't do it for points, did it because it was right. You do good things and good things happen (whatever that may be) ...by the true grace of God. Amen.<P>Eric32

Dear Eric32:<BR>Instead of a hug, you'll get an applaud. Although, I do have to ask you... Why did it take you so long, after 1.5 years? Did you finally decide that it wasn't going to work out with her and so this is why you convinced her to go back to her marriage? It would seem to me that it should have not gone on that long in the first place. But, since it did, it makes me wonder, if after all this time, you are the one that decided that this was not the person you wanted to be with. So, to make yourself the hero, you stated that you convinced her to go back to her husband. This way, you could look like the good considerate guy and also save yourself from not looking like a jacka@# if you told her that it wasn't going to work out. I maybe way off base, but am I truly? If I am, sorry for the question marks that have gone off in my head.

Eric32 - Kudos from me too. The woman who gets a man like you will be fortunate indeed.<BR> Simone

hi eric, now i understand better. Glad you are not frustrated. You should feel really really good about yourself and your role. Ya just never now about anything in life....<BR>have a great weekend, cl

Katya,<P>My aren't we the cynic (sp?) ! Actually she and I have been seeing each other for about two months, she has been divorced 1.5 years. We haven't been intimate, we had/have been building a relationship/friendship. I respect her and admire her. She is my friend. Do I love her? No. I am sure that made it easier to step aside, but we had so much fun together, I believed we had an extremely promising future together. I will never know. Things were happenin'. So yes you are way off base. That's OK though, I have learned that most folks are suspecious of people that do not make all of their decisions based on themselves. I guess I am guilty of this as well, but I do try to see the best in people. Going through all of this has definately taught me not to take such work for granted. Sometimes when you risk yourself, face that fear, it can provide gifts and peace you never expected. Yep, I don't think aspiring to be heroic is a bad thing, my motives were simply to do what I thought was right. I'll never feel sorry for not putting myself first. <P>Eric32