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Originally Posted by arkhawk1
I thought there was a possibility of the other man coming back into the picture but I didn't foresee a different other man.

She wants a divorce now.
Maybe you should give it to her, and walk away with a big sigh of relief.

I'm sorry, but one affair is a horror I never want to go through again. TWO puts a wayward in the "serial cheater" category. And serial cheaters in my opinion, have serious personality defects.

I breathe a sigh of relief every time I read stories such as this. I was suckered by a disordered woman who, when she pulled the carpet out from under me, took my heart with it.

But I got it back, and I'm protecting it with all my strength. There is no way I'd let this severely damaged woman back into my life to do anything like this again.

We all have the same choice when we get here. No one has taken me to task for my decision, and no one will take you to task for yours. Just make sure that you've done the best you can and be at peace with the results.


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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I know. She definitely has issues. Problem is she will probably never find the happiness she is so desperately seeking. She is convinced that she has to have romantic love as the foundation of the relationship (not commitment) and is not willing to work hard at anything in her life. She never completes a project.

The sad thing is that she is the mother of my children and I desperately wanted to provide those boys with a stable home. But her needs are more important than that and even the kids are not important enough for her to put effort into our marriage.


Me BH 40
Her XWW 34
Married 12 years

Feb 09 - PA #1 (w/married alcoholic)
Apr 09 - Started recovery, thought things were going well until...
Jan 10 - PA #2 (w/different guy on Facebook)
Dec 10 - Divorced
Now - very happy; no regrets
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Ark,
I just finished reading your entire thread. My heart breaks for you. I'm a total novice in my 2nd or 3rd month of Plan A. If you walk away it seems to me you've done everything you possibly could. You can't let your kids grow up thinking it's okay for Mommies to have boyfriends. You can't let your kids see you not stand up for yourself and fight for what is right.

As has been stated, a Plan D/B might shed some light into your ww's dark heart. But it will probably be a while, if ever. Not sure you'll be around emotionally if that happens. Too bad for her.

You're going to make a great husband for someone someday (that's what I keep telling myself - and I end it with "and I hope it's my FWW").

opt


Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01)
Divorce from WW final 9/16/10.
Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10)
Mine: S(16), D(11)
NatureGirls: S(23), D(21)
Another EA Story
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It's time to show this woman the grass isn't greener on the other side. She's always had you there as the "fallback." It's time to send her on her way only to wonder if you'll still be there if OM 1,2,3....12 doesn't work out. That's the beauty on Plan B. I would at the very least file for legal separation and turn her loose to see if this [censored] from high school will make her happy (NOT).


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Once I exposed it to everyone, she got very mean. Odd that she could do all that and be mad at me. She is trying a preemptive strike and telling people her side of the story. She is so lost now. The fog is thick!


Me BH 40
Her XWW 34
Married 12 years

Feb 09 - PA #1 (w/married alcoholic)
Apr 09 - Started recovery, thought things were going well until...
Jan 10 - PA #2 (w/different guy on Facebook)
Dec 10 - Divorced
Now - very happy; no regrets
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Wow, exposing has been ugly in this case. She is more than furious. Claims that I crossed the line by telling her family and his family. She called his family to tell them she's sorry they were told, that they shouldn't have been involved. She called a lawyer and she told me that telling her family was harassment and that writing a letter to his employer for using company assets to carry on an affair is harassment-and that she could get a restraining order. Her family called him and gave him what for. He texted me with threatening messages to teach me a lesson for exposing. Of course, she took his side. Anyway, I am inventorying now prepping for D. She has lost it. I found out what kind of person I am (good to a fault) and what kind of person she is. Sad for the kids though.

Last edited by arkhawk1; 01/22/10 07:42 PM.

Me BH 40
Her XWW 34
Married 12 years

Feb 09 - PA #1 (w/married alcoholic)
Apr 09 - Started recovery, thought things were going well until...
Jan 10 - PA #2 (w/different guy on Facebook)
Dec 10 - Divorced
Now - very happy; no regrets
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Posts: 6,058
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Absolutely typical...

Not something that needs to be fixed, addressed or apologized for.

If the "relationship" is such a good thing, she should be grateful that everyone knows.

Are you done with her and the marriage? If so, fight her in legal ways.

If not, fight for her!

My wife was ready to move out. She had listed on paper the reasons to stay and the reasons to leave. She listed a couple of nice things about me then compared me to the fantasy of OM and living happily every after in a big house on a lot of land with no need to work, take care of kids, granddaughter, bills (most of them hers, BTW) and a whole bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with marriage.

A couple of nights ago we counseled with a local couple that has a marriage on the rocks using MB concepts.

A lot can change in almost four years.

So what do YOU want to do?

(Not talking about what she says...)

Just so you know, the real her is the one you married, not this alien that has abducted her and inhabited her body.

Mark

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Originally Posted by arkhawk1
Wow, exposing has been ugly in this case. She is more than furious.

I am shocked!! I thought would give you roses! grin

oh cmon, ark, what did you expect? Every WS is furious when exposed and makes all manner of idle, stupid threats. Whatever.

Just pull up a chair and enjoy the show!! laugh


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Yeah, it's funny to hear her say...I deserve whatever happens to me for doing such horrible things. Then when you do something as minor as actually tell someone, hell is unleashed. I'm sure her no-account friends put her up to the lawyer bit....pretty petty.


Me BH 40
Her XWW 34
Married 12 years

Feb 09 - PA #1 (w/married alcoholic)
Apr 09 - Started recovery, thought things were going well until...
Jan 10 - PA #2 (w/different guy on Facebook)
Dec 10 - Divorced
Now - very happy; no regrets
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Originally Posted by arkhawk1
Then when you do something as minor as actually tell someone

Minor?? Heck, that was MAJOR!! Majorly AWESOME! hurray When she spits her fury just tell her you were "spreading the joy! Everyone should know about her affair." Then take a BOW!

Be proud and LOUD about your achievements! grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Well, what ticked me off was when her family called him to tell him to go away, he calls and threatens me. Then she takes up for him saying I deserved it for calling his dad and giving her family his contact number.

Not surprised - but ticked nontheless. She's a traitor in my book.

BTW, sitting here typing this out is really therapeutic. She actually had me feeling bad for a minute or two the other day.


Me BH 40
Her XWW 34
Married 12 years

Feb 09 - PA #1 (w/married alcoholic)
Apr 09 - Started recovery, thought things were going well until...
Jan 10 - PA #2 (w/different guy on Facebook)
Dec 10 - Divorced
Now - very happy; no regrets
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That is what we are here for, ark. Type here and vent when you feel like screaming. Write a crime novel detailed a grisly murder or something--you never know, hate for the OM could turn into money for you!


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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I'm in a "Dr. Harley Quoting Mood" tonight...

Originally Posted by Dr. Willard Harley
When Should An Affair Be Exposed?
By Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr.


This week, again I�ll be taking a question from the Forum to help clear up a conflict regarding one of my common recommendations about when to expose an affair. The issue of exposure comes up when a betrayed spouse has first learned about the affair. Should it be exposed to others, or kept secret? I generally recommend exposure. When should it be exposed? I usually recommend that it be exposed immediately. To whom should it be exposed? I recommend that family, friends, children, clergy, and especially, the lover�s spouse be informed. Exposure in the workplace depends on several factors.

There are many reasons for this recommendation, but the primary reason is based on my belief that the more people know about what I do in my most private moments, the safer I am to others. Infidelity is one of the most painful experiences one spouse can inflict on the other, and it�s far less likely to take place, or continue to take place, when everyone knows about it.

Imagine how little crime would be committed if everyone�s activities were videotaped. Several weeks ago, a street fight in Minneapolis resulted in the death of a teenager. A gang of over 20 men were involved in his death. But it all happened in front of a host of surveillance cameras. The men involved in this murder will be arrested, tried, and sentenced. Minneapolis used to be called Murderapolis because of its extremely high murder rate. No more. The murder rate is now one of the lowest for a big city because people have traded in their privacy for security. People are now safer because they�re willing to have their activities recorded.

Another, almost equally important reason for exposure is that it usually provides support for the betrayed spouse at a time that their whole world is falling apart. When family, friends, clergy, and even children know what�s happening to the betrayed spouse they can provide considerable emotional support when it�s needed most.

But there are exceptions to exposure. Once in a while I don�t recommend it. A defense of exposure in general, and an explanation of the few exceptions are the topics of today�s column.

Abbreviations:
EA-Emotional Affair; D-Day-Discovery Day; MB-Marriage Builders; NC-No Contact; OM-Other Man; OMW-Other Man�s Wife; WW-Wayward Wife


Forum Member�s Question:

I know from my own counseling with Dr. Jennifer Harley Chalmers around D-day that she was very careful, almost reticent, about exposure. I KNOW that she was NOT for exposing to the world, and I believe all the Harleys were in some stage of reconsidering it. I think someone on the Forum quoted Steve Harley as saying he was more conservative than his dad about this issue, and even his dad was reconsidering it.

This past summer, when I was counseling with Steve Harley, he was similarly reticent every time I asked him about the advice I was getting here to broadly expose my WW�s EA. In fact, I was a little frustrated that I couldn't seem to get a straight answer out of him.

Essentially, Steve had me in a very "carrot-y" Plan A, and never even brought up the subject of exposure himself. He gave me the impression that he didn't think OM was much of a threat because there wasn't any clear evidence that he was actively pursuing my WW, although she was certainly reading his intentions as serious. (I was actively snooping at the time; the evidence wasn't there.)

So when I asked him about exposure, Steve initially told me to expose only to people who could offer me support and encouragement, which I'd essentially already done with family and close friends. WW was still furious about that, and also about my posting here, which is one reason my earlier thread no longer exists.

In a later session, after I'd seen that WW had broken NC to tell the OM that she was divorcing me and that she wanted to talk, I asked whether I should expose to OMW. Steve essentially waved me off, telling me that it would be very �tempting� but that I should focus on Plan A (although he didn't use the term).

Interesting twist here is that I ended up calling OMW anyway a week or so later, and after an hour-long conversation, talked to OM himself for another hour. Turns out OMW knew pretty much everything I did, but thought the only thing going on was in my WW's head. OM, of course, also denied any romantic intent (and was a miserably bad liar, too). Still, a few days later OM sent his own NC letter threatening legal action if either of us contacted them again, and my WW came out of her fog four days after that.?

So it's a bit of a bear to make sense of in the after-action report. Exposure seems to have worked its magic, although it's only correlation and not necessarily causation -- plus, of course, my WW came up with an entirely separate explanation for her change of heart. But exposure only worked after I basically ignored Steve's advice, which is sort of unsettling.

The whole experience has shaped my own attitude toward exposure. I still think it's not necessarily a one-size-fits-all antidote for infidelity, but I'm impressed with its power and the results it can produce�even a hesitant and graduated exposure like mine. Which is why, somewhat to my surprise, I've found myself enthusiastically recommending exposure to some of our newcomers here, even when it could bust up careers and have other serious consequences.

But I still find it curious that the Harleys don't address the concept of exposure�or of snooping, for that matter�in their public writing. I've subscribed to the MB newsletter for years and can't recall ever seeing exposure mentioned there. Why are the Harleys essentially quiet about it if exposure is truly a key weapon for fighting an affair?


Dr. Harley�s answer to Forum member�s questions:

It�s true that I have only addressed the issue of exposure on Marriage Builders� Radio and on the private Forum that is only available to those who attend the Marriage Builders� Weekend. So here goes my definitive answer that will help explain what may seem as contradictions from both Steve Harley and Jennifer Harley Chalmers.

Whenever a betrayed spouse tells me that they�ve just discovered their spouse�s affair, my advice is almost always the same: Let others know about it. Tell your children, family, friends, clergy, and especially the lover�s spouse, if they have one. And this is even to be done during what I call plan A (making an effort to make as many Love Bank deposits, and as few withdrawals as possible). The problem some people have with that strategy is that it conflicts with the goal of plan A because it�s likely to cause massive Love Bank withdrawals. An unfaithful spouse almost always considers such exposure to be a worse act of betrayal than their affair itself. But the alternative, helping the unfaithful spouse to keep the affair a secret, is enabling the addiction, prolonging the agony. In the long run, making the affair public knowledge without any forewarnings, threats, or bartering (which by themselves can create massive withdrawals) actually reduces the number of Love Bank withdrawals made by the betrayed spouse. It�s my opinion that the advantages of immediate exposure usually far outweigh the disadvantages.

But are there exceptions to my recommendation of the immediate exposure of an affair? Absolutely! Let me give you a few examples of situations where I would not suggest immediately exposing an affair.

A physically violent unfaithful spouse

In every instance of physical violence in marriage, I have recommend separation along with a restraining order to prevent any contact between spouses. No one who has followed my advice under my direct supervision has ever experienced injury in the 35 years of my counseling tens of thousands of couples. And I have counseled some of the most violent spouses.

If a wife tells me that her husband has a history of physical violence toward her, and she�s discovered his affair, I suggest that she make immediate plans for a complete separation. Generally, I refer her to a shelter for abused women. After the separation is complete, and she is safe, I recommend exposure of the affair. Plan A is ruled out, and plan B is followed (no contact between spouses). Contact is restored only after the violent husband in enrolled in an anger management program, has no contact with the lover, and is willing to begin a program of marital reconciliation.

Uncertainty regarding the affair

Many of the cases I�ve witnessed involve suspected affairs with no firm proof. In those situations, I do not recommend exposure. The forum member that raised this issue falls into this category. That�s one of the reasons why both Steve and Jennifer were hesitant to recommend exposure of the suspected affair. Instead of immediate exposure, I suggest gathering evidence that would convince a jury that an affair has taken place. In some cases I suggest hiring an investigator to gather that evidence. Once there is certainty regarding the affair, I then recommend immediate exposure.

Affairs are not usually difficult to prove. That�s because the affair is an addiction, and addicts are notoriously sloppy in covering their tracks. They also become progressively sloppy as the affair develops. They try to hide it, and are reasonably successful early in a relationship. But eventually they leave text messages, email, and telephone records in plain sight for anyone to observe. If a suspecting spouse is patient, it doesn�t take too long or require too much effort, to prove that an affair is taking place. On the other hand, a diligent hunt for evidence may prove that the spouse hasn�t been unfaithful after all.

Those who guard their privacy in marriage, claiming that a spouse has no right to passwords, internet viewing history, email records, cell phone records, credit card accounts, and other sources of evidence, are more likely to have affairs. Privacy between spouses should never be tolerated for a host of reasons. But one of the most important reasons is that privacy, and the secret second life that it helps create, breeds infidelity. Transparency, on the other hand, where almost everything spouses do are known to each other, is one of the most important safeguards.

The forum member who wrote this week�s question went against the advice of his Marriage Builders coach to first gather more evidence. Instead, he contacted the suspected lovers� wife and told her about his suspicions. As he stated, �the evidence wasn�t there,� but he �exposed� his suspicions anyway. If he had been wrong, and the affair had not taken place, it would have unnecessarily added to his Love Bank withdrawals which were apparently already considerable. But the result was that the lover and his wife wrote the forum member�s wife, warning her to avoid all further contact, and that ended the affair.

Economic considerations

A divorce, and even separation, can have dire economic consequences for a betrayed spouse. Many wives of cheating husbands that I�ve counseled are economically dependent on him. If she exposes the affair, she fears that he will leave her, creating financial hardship. So in those cases, before exposing the affair, I generally encourage her to plan for that possibility. Women�s shelters usually offer both legal and financial advice for women who find themselves dependent on irresponsible men. Temporary aid from government, religious, and other charitable agencies can provide a safety net for those women. While exposure usually causes the affair to end, these betrayed women can expose his affair with less fear when they know that separation will not leave them destitute.

When there is an affair in the workplace, my general advice is that the unfaithful spouse must quit the job and find another to avoid ever seeing or talking to the lover again. But while the affair is taking place and the unfaithful spouse is unwilling to resign, should a betrayed spouse expose the affair to the employer? While I unhesitatingly recommend exposing the affair to friends, family, clergy, children, and the lover�s spouse, I�m not so quick to suggest exposing it to an employer. That�s because such an exposure could have unintended legal and economic consequences. For example, the affair might constitute grounds for a sexual harassment claim. Or, it might trigger an outright firing of the spouse, making it far more difficult to find another job. So my advice whether or not to expose to an employer is usually made on a case-by-case basis.

Other issues

Many betrayed spouses are afraid that exposure will drive the unfaithful spouse further away. While it�s true that unfaithful spouses usually feel betrayed and angry when their affair is exposed, I regard that reaction as being part of the fog that most addicts experience. When the fog has finally lifted, and the source of addiction no longer has control, the value of exposure is usually conceded by the addict himself.

Some feel that an affair should not be exposed to children. Granted, I would not tell a 3-year old about an affair, simply because a child that young cannot possibly understand what it means. But I would not hesitate to reveal an affair to a child 7 years or older. Exposure to those between those ages should be a matter of discretion.

What about exposure of an affair that took place years earlier and is now ended but recently revealed? I feel that the children, close relatives, close friends, and the lover�s spouse should be informed. Granted, it�s embarrassing to admit an affair, but publicly admitting failure is usually the first step toward redemption.

As you already know, I�m a strong advocate of honesty and openness in marriage. I call it transparency�letting your spouse know everything about you, especially your faults. But should that level of openness carry into the public arena? I believe that it should in cases of extreme irresponsibility, and that certainly includes infidelity. When you have done something very hurtful to someone else, others -- especially those who care for you the most -- should know about it. Such exposure helps prevent a recurrence of the offense. Your closest friends and relatives will be keeping an eye on you�holding you accountable.

If exposure of an affair threatens the marriage, should the risk be taken?

I regard infidelity as a violation of the most basic condition of marriage. In most wedding vows, �forsaking all others,� is the only real promise that�s made. When you marry, the overriding condition that is mutually accepted is that you won�t have an affair. When that condition is broken, the marriage is threatened at its very core. That�s why I believe that spouses who have recovered after an affair should make new vows to each other, in effect reestablishing their marriage.

So when a betrayed spouse asks for my advice, I usually take the position that infidelity is the greatest betrayal of all. After an affair, trust -- an essential ingredient in marriage -- is dashed. If the unfaithful spouse is offended by being exposed, so be it. Exposure is very likely to end the affair, lifting the fog that has overcome the unfaithful spouse, helping him or her become truly repentant and willing to put energy and effort into a full marital recovery. In my experience with thousands of couples who struggle with the fallout of infidelity, exposure has been the single most important first step toward recovery. It not only helps end the affair, but it also provides support to the betrayed spouse, giving him or her stamina to hold out for ultimate recovery.


Doormat_No_More
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Original thread lost in the forum purge of '09.
4 months after D-Day
1 year after D-Day
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arkhawk,

They all get angry with exposure.

They can't do a thing about it, legally. You are trying to save your marriage and I hope you communicated that to her parents and om's parents when you exposed.

Think about getting a RO on om if he threatens again. And on WW if you have to, if she goes legal on you without thinking things through.

Just be calm and don't feel in the least bit bad. Just sit back and watch the fireworks!

Glad that you exposed. You did good!

Love in Christ,
Miss M


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Good article. I think I'm still gonna get divorced because she is such a weak person and can't finish anything she starts. But I gave a heroic effort. I still run the gamut of emotions from time to time, but being married to someone with a 15-year old's mentality has made me see a different side of her. Anyone who believes married life should mirror "The Notebook" and that that initial feeling of infatuation should be in the marriage everyday isn't cut out for long-term commitment.


Me BH 40
Her XWW 34
Married 12 years

Feb 09 - PA #1 (w/married alcoholic)
Apr 09 - Started recovery, thought things were going well until...
Jan 10 - PA #2 (w/different guy on Facebook)
Dec 10 - Divorced
Now - very happy; no regrets
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What kind of threatening messages did he leave you? Keep them, it might work to get a restraining order to keep him away from you, and better yet, the kids.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
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I was thinking the same thing. He essentially said that after my divorce he was going to come visit me and show me what a mistake I had made by telling everyone and that if I wanted to learn my lesson earlier then contact him and it could be arranged.

Part of me wants him to come because I think once I actually see the guy, the rage I have will turn me into the Incredible Hulk. "Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" hehehe

I also enjoy calling the guy a weasel, backstabber and chickens**t to my wife. She doesn't appreciate it but I like saying it.


Me BH 40
Her XWW 34
Married 12 years

Feb 09 - PA #1 (w/married alcoholic)
Apr 09 - Started recovery, thought things were going well until...
Jan 10 - PA #2 (w/different guy on Facebook)
Dec 10 - Divorced
Now - very happy; no regrets
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Wow... what a story, just read the entire thread... I'm in planB... H had EA number 3 on his blackberry(never gets PA).... Kicked him out Sunday, cuz he had said he'd stop contacting her and he didn't...I can't believe it will be a week soon... I gave him the planB letter wednesday and he left a temper-tantrumy response for me...

DocH said theres something fundamentally wrong with my H--at his core, in his belief system (his mother is a horror) so typical approaches won't work and he had to customize a plan for my H...

Gonna be a long process til I could possibly say we'll be able to have a dialogue about any kind in any kind of recovery in this marriage.

My heart aches for you Ark, and your story, your kids.... I think you're coming into your strength and I know for a fact I found mine when I planB'ed you start feeling so much better--about you, and then you 'll be better about all of the things in your life... It'll take time, but it'l happen. I don't have kids though... I know that make its infinitely easier for me...

For myself, I have planD floating in my head now because I think the odds of a person changing this late in life are dismally slim...Knowing change has to occur within him, just to be able to say I'm prepared to repair our marriage. But at least I can say at the end, that I gave it a shot.


BW:34
WH:37
M 4 years, together 8 years
D-day of third EA with a coworker 1/6/10
PlanA 1/7-16/10
PlanB 1/17/10
~starting 16 months of grad school 1/9/10-will require class attendance 9-5 on 2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays every month
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Plexle, I really hate reading folks' stories on here like yours and mine. I believe in happy endings, but only for those who work hard and are dedicated and it is a tragedy when one works so hard yet doesn't get the desired result because the other party is so selfish.

I really wish you the best with Plan B. I know how you must feel now and I sympathize. But you are doing the right thing and you can never go wrong doing the right thing. You can always look back and say I have no regrets for MY actions because I did the right thing.


Me BH 40
Her XWW 34
Married 12 years

Feb 09 - PA #1 (w/married alcoholic)
Apr 09 - Started recovery, thought things were going well until...
Jan 10 - PA #2 (w/different guy on Facebook)
Dec 10 - Divorced
Now - very happy; no regrets
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M
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058
Arkhawk,

What your wife is doing and saying is absolutely TYPICAL of wayward wives. She is no worse than the majority. There are a few exceptions to that such as trying to have the BH killed and Pariah's whole ordeal that will make you thankful you have your own wayward wife to deal with rather than his, but you need to keep the idea in your mind that once wayward, those having an affair really do act like they have been abducted by aliens.

Exposure is the most powerful weapon in the arsenal of a BS. Using it threatens the FANTASY of the affair. It is no longer Bridges of Madison County but is a sordid, dirty, selfish act of betrayal. It isn't a love story anymore but merely two pigs rutting in the mud. Once everybody knows the truth, the truth can sometimes begin to be seen by the affair partners.

If OM's family is giving him a dose of crap and WW's family is giving her a bunch of the same over being such a selfish irrational uncaring dolt, it might just put enough pressure on the fantasy that the value is no longer enough to pay the price.

OM has not been your enemy so far. The affair has been your enemy. WW is not your enemy. The fantasy of the affair is your enemy. Exposure blasted the affair out of the water. The fantasy is over. Now they have to live in the real world where relationships effect those around us and the consequences of our choices are far reaching.

Mark

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