Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,527
Likes: 9
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,527
Likes: 9
Only a week?

I happened to have an old page from the Recovery forum open when I read your reply. You were on the page from February 2006, stating that you had just had D Day 4, on which your wife confessed to a few occasions of kissing after the PA ended.

In my own case, I refer to 26 March 2005 as D Day, when in reality that isn't true either. That was the day that I discovered that the affair I had first discovered when it was about 2 months old, in March 2003, has simply gone underground and continued for a solid two years more. 26 March 2005 was the 2-year anniversary almost to the day of D Day 1.

I kidded myself that we could recover by goodwill after D Day 1 (2003), so when I found a sex message in 2005, the trauma of a second discovery was much worse than the original. I buried my grief after D Day 2003, but in 2005 I plunged into the most terrible period of mourning. THAT is when I did the infidelity diet, the drinking, the madness and the depression. I tend to refer to 2005 because that is when I hit rock bottom.

However, H was a cake-eater, so he kept asking me to recommit and I kept doing so. I had another 2 major D Days, the last in August 2006. After that date, my H stopped travelling abroad or spending any nights away from me.

However, because the EA (phone calls from the office landline, which I could not monitor) continued after August 2006, I eventually exposed to OWH in January 2007. After that, he found out a lot more details, which I was glad of, because I wanted to know them all. However, between OWH's filling me in, and my own H's grudging admittance to the truth of what OWH said, I got quite devastating facts until about September 2007.

Dear me, that was a long D Day. March 2003 to September 2007. Sometimes I think of what I went through and cannot believe I survived.

Last edited by SugarCane; 02/15/10 09:16 AM.

BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554
Originally Posted by SugarCane
Only a week?

I happened to have an old page from the Recovery forum open when I read your reply. You were on the page from February 2006, stating that you had just had D Day 4, on which your wife confessed to a few occasions of kissing after the PA ended.

Hmm.. Can't remember that, but if that did happened, the "kissing" occurred before her confession during the week I mentioned above. According to her, there wasn't any semblance of kissing or other close contact after that week. They did continue to communicate via IM (and of course they did work together) for a short while afterwards.

Your experience seems to have been a bit more gruelling. I think I would have gone crazy of she continued to engage in the PA post D-Day.


ManInMotion
===========
(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
Valentine's Day is still triggery for me. I had a hard time finding a card for H that wasn't sickenly syrupy. Found one and with my luck of course...of all the lines I could go to...my cashier has the name of skankho. MrRollieEyes

V-Day kind of sucked.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
This time of year, I thank God for a MIRACLE!!!


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,527
Likes: 9
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,527
Likes: 9
Originally Posted by ManInMotion
Your experience seems to have been a bit more gruelling. I think I would have gone crazy of she continued to engage in the PA post D-Day.
I did.


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,593
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,593
Ok I am truly at a loss of what to do with this thing. Xh came to drop ds off last night after his weekend with dad. He hands me a knitted scarf as my valentines day present. Ds announces xh wife (ow) knitted it for me. It is also my favorite color. While trying to keep my gag reflex in check I had to pretend I was trying to keep the puppy from the door just to look busy. Xh wife( ow) was watching me over his shoulder the whole time. What does she think this will make me like her. I want nothing to do with the woman and NO we cannot be friends.
My husband came home and looked at it with a weird eye and said shredder or Bon fire?

So MB community what say you?

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037
Noose.


I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
Donate it to the thrift store she frequents. Or to the panhandler near the mall she frequents.

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
You might have the prize winning "worst Valentine's Day" present. Didn't see a thread this year, but I'm sure yours would qualify for one of the WORST. What are these people thinking??????

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,593
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,593
I know it's been years since this all went down... But do they really believe I will just forget what happened and "accept" them. I truthfully want nothing to do with them. I do what I have to for my son other than that I don't try to interact with them.

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Originally Posted by SIHW
So MB community what say you?

Tie it to the back bumper of your car.
Drag it around until it shreds apart.


Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,888
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,888
Originally Posted by SIHW
So MB community what say you?
Three words:
Plain Brown Wrapper

Returned to sender.


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537
i kinda liked the bon fire idea you threw out in the begining, but that's just me.


Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,593
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,593
I like all these ideas may have to put them on a hat and pull one out it is so hard to choose. Bad thing is it was given under the guise of a gift from my son.

Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554
Originally Posted by KaylaAndy
Or to the panhandler near the mall she frequents.

Ooh, I like that idea...



ManInMotion
===========
(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140
I'd wrap the damn scarf around her neck and strangle her with it for using my child that way, but that's just me.

Maybe you can just explain to your son and to the OW that you only accept gifts from family and friends and she is neither.

*Then* give it to the panhandler at the mall.


Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716
Build a big snowman in your front yard (hopefully you have some snow), tie it on it's neck and put a large "L" on it's forehead. smile



Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 349
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 349
@ SIHW : Ds announces xh wife (ow) knitted it for me. It is also my favorite color. While trying to keep my gag reflex in check I had to pretend I was trying to keep the puppy from the door just to look busy.


I say give it to the puppy as a scarf, chew toy if you stuff it and sew the sides together, or sew it together as a jacket for the puppy.

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Love the thrift store/panhandler idea. Do you have a bird? Maybe a cage liner a day or two before they come over again. Do you have a puppy? A pig?


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,593
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,593
We have a VERY high energy malinois pup. She is great at distroying things. Hmmmm. Oh darn the puppy got to it,. Well at least someone had use for it.

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,352 guests, and 57 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5