Steve said enough with the exposure for now. It served it's purpose for now and anything more might have an adverse affect.

hes the man...

Pat,

How about an update???? Inquiring minds want to know.....

not2fun

Update is not to good. I presented the scenario like Steve said and she was luke warm like I thought. She is out of town for the next two weeks and I'm sure she is getting together with OM. I am talking with my attorney on wed. about my chances of taking the kids out of state. I have a job offer in MA. where all my family is. If we don't stay together, there is nothing for me in Texas, and I have all the support up there. She has nothing here. Her behaviour, spending, travel and lack of involvment with the kids makes me think I might have a case. The best scenario would be for her to move out for a while and get a taste of what's to come, but she wont, so It seems I am left with little choice. She has been in a good mood, no fight, she acts like there is nothing wrong, but I reallly need to get on with my life if she doesn't want to try.

sorry to hear that - get the atty opinion asap - also consider if filing under adultery has more advantage in Texas than MA.

Is she in Dallas by any chance?

No, she is in Napa.

Well if she is in Napa, maybe she will get rained on today.

You need to ask your lawyer if you can just take the kids to MA and then file for divorce up there. It might help short circuit the need to remain in TX after the divorce. THis is very touchy stuff, but since you are caring for the kids, you might be able to pull this off.

I don't like the idea of separating Mother and Father, but sense she is on the road most of the time, she can be on the road up to MA to see the kids when she is off.


Explore all possibilities.

God Bless,

JL

Chances are you'll need to win primary custody FIRST without any indication you intend to move. Then...suddenly, thereafter, a wonderful opportunity in MA arises that causes you to seek a modification of the custody order seeking permission to move. Modification is much easier to get than primary.

You can't just move and file in MA...as all (or most) states have a residency requirement of 6 months to a year which leaves you with TX jurisdiction. Plus...just leaving with the kids could make it appear you are attempting to alienate her from her children and be used against you.

Mr. W

Pat,

There you go. Good informed advice from Mr. W use it.

JL

I have no intention of just trying to leave, I know that would not fly. I meet with my attorney today to see what my options are and I go from there. I don't know what end is up anymore, I just know I need to make some tough desissions. I have to ask you all if this is normal (normal for this situation) for her to think she can continue this without any ramifications? I'm sure some of you have had the same situation, what was the result? How did you handle it. Her behaviour is just so bizzare. On Sunday she was here talking about things we need to do around the house, explaining how she wanted us to plant this type of garden and next year we should take up this section of yard and plant something else. I hear her talk and I'm thinking next year? What about tomorrow? Very strange.

Attorney said very good chance of getting primary. Chances of moving out of state about 1 in 10. Not what I wanted to hear.

She is a classic cake eater and wants you to continue to allow it. In her mind the present situation meets all of her needs if only you will cooperate. Why would she want to change it?

Good news about primary custody. That is a good start.

God's Blessings,

Say

Pat,

The term you are looking for is denial and it is very very common in WS.

God Bless,

JL

How is it going, Patriot45?

Well, not so good. She is seeing him again, though she denies it. I am still on the job hunt, some offers, some rejections, still looking for the right one. She is still vasilating and blaming me. Anyway, I am going back to MA for 2 interviews next week which set her over the edge.She thinks I'm bluffing and wont go through with a move, but she is DEAD wrong. She was complaining that she has to work, and the kids have school and all. I said " well, that's what happens when you get a divorce, you're going to have to start being more involved and make some career sacrifices.I cant be here to cover for you all the time". Not going over well.

I feel a WHOLE lot better than I did. I have given myself till the end of April and if things don't change I'll file and fight fo custody.

Patriot- are you working a Plan A? Are you giving yourself to the end of April with Plan A?

Do you think she'll choose her traveling career over the kids? Maybe she will be forced to let you have custody to keep her job.

Pat

nice to see you back....I see that she is still stringing you along while with OM.

Whatever came of the charges?

Hang in there - you do realize that you are in the driver's seat in this relationship if you choose it?

Keep a level head - what she is doing is emotional abuse and you don't have to take it. There will be a time you will need to move out of limbo land

Just keep in mind that your move to MA may have a serious effect on your changes of getting custody of the kids. The courts don't like it when a parent up and moves to the point where it would be very difficult for the other parent to have a continual and meaningful relationship with the kids.

My exWW was a SAHM and we have 50/50. It is a PIA when there are snafus with school, snow days, kids sick, etc. The exWW had to get a job too so now there isn't the automatic backup on the homefront. I had to sacrifice some career things to become more involved so I can do the 50/50.

Why aren't you re-exposing? It worked so well the first time, it almost killed the affair.

I'm afraid you are so tired of being abused and not standing up for yourself, you'll flee to MA, and just leave your children with your abuser. I pray that isn't the case.