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What are the possibilities?

1. He gets primary custody, Child support and alimony. And a local job.

2. His wife chooses her career and affair over her kids (which she already has) and she allows patriot to move to MA.

Either way she is screwed.

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Originally Posted by ouchthathurt
What are the possibilities?

1. He gets primary custody, Child support and alimony. And a local job.

2. His wife chooses her career and affair over her kids (which she already has) and she allows patriot to move to MA.

Either way she is screwed.

In a move away scenario, you have to be prepared for your arguement to get turned upside down and used against you. If Patriot is in MA, and WW is in Texas, it's tough to argue that the kids seeing mom for only 45 days out of the year is in the best interest of the kids. Her lawyer will just use that arguement against him - if it's OK for mom to see the kids for 45 days, it must be OK for dad to see the kids for only 45 days plus they get to stay in Texas! Mom wins that arguement. I just don't see her giving up that much custody without a fight.

In my custody case where move away was the central issue, the parenting plan we offered was me having the kids 55% of the time, and exWW having the kids 45% of the time. It showed I wasn't trying to take the kids out of Mom's life. Plus, if the worst case happened and the judge said Mom can take the kids to MD and enroll them there, it would have been my worst case in terms of custody. Patriot has a lot more at risk than I did - the exWW and I live 90 miles apart. In his case, a move to MA will mean one of the parents will be relegated to a part time visitor in the kid's lives. The other parent will be in the kid's lives a longer than any affair partner.


Me BH 35 WW 36
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

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Unless Mrs. Patriot does not contest.

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Originally Posted by ouchthathurt
Unless Mrs. Patriot does not contest.

When is the last time a WS has been that accomodating? She's too entitled to let Patriot get custody. She probably would fight it just so she wouldn't have to pay Patriot child support.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
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Originally Posted by ouchthathurt
Unless Mrs. Patriot does not contest.

This is relatively common with WH's, but a WW's first instinct is to replace the BH with the OM. She'll fight tooth and nail if Patriot wants to move. Custody fights are extremely expensive, and mentally exhausting. You only want to fight a fight where you have a good chance of winning.

Patriot's divorce custody strategy can be summed up this way:

1. Stay local, get a job (8-4 M-F schedule would be best), and worst case scenario for him is 50/50 with a good chance of him getting primary residency due to his WW's work schedule.

2. Move to MA and get a job. Worst case scenario for him is he gets the kids on X-Mas and Easter vacation and three weeks in the summer.

Moving to MA with custody of the kids is entirely dependent on is WW agreeing to it. This is not a good option to rely on.


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The only way I can see a judge letting Patriot move the kids to MA is if he wins custody in Texas, stays in Texas a few years, and is able to prove that Mrs. Patriot is NOT involved with the kids very much.

We're not in Texas, but my son had joint custody with his ex when she announced that she was moving to Texas and taking the kids with her. My son's response was, "H3!!, no, you're not!"

As it turned out, a neighbor turned her in to DHS for leaving the kids unattended or something, so she brought the kids to our son's house for a few days and moved out of the house that my son provided for her and the kids to live in. The house was totally nasty to the point of stinking (from her un-housebroken dogs...ugh!), so DHS would probably have removed the kids. Anyway, she went ahead and moved to Texas, saying she was going to let the kids finish out the school year. Our son filed for custody and won. The judge told her that she could not move the children away from a loving and very involved father. If our son had NOT been involved much with the kids, she likely could have moved them, provided she had petitioned the courts, first.


"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"

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Texas may be a strict state...

Usually cannot move kids outside contiguous counties of the resident county.

Friend of mine couldnt take his kids without permission from Dallas to Houston on his time. Also had to decline several in state job transfers.

Not sure of Pat's goal - at least in Texas you can file under adultery and could get favourable $$ and custody. Her A and arrest would assist him on that.

What are family law rules in MA? I suppose if he moves up there while married with kids before she files an motion - would he not be able to beat that? She may not even be interested since being a single working mother would cramp her style.


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She could still file a motion, I think. Jurisdiction for custody depends on the child's residence for the previous 6 months, or maybe a year.

Google "Uniform Child Custody Act" (or something like that!)


"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"

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My attorney says I have about a 30% chance of getting custody in a move. I'll know more after next weeks interviews. My thought is there is no way she can handle the kids and her career. Even if the custody hearing is in her favour, she cannot handle the stress...I KNOW this. Now, this is a very big risk on my part.

The other man is nothing but a F buddy as far as I can tell. They may claim that there is something between them, but it's very clear that it's a fantasy based on sex and a lacivious, fantasy life style. Dallas one week, New Orleans, Napa....fine restaurants, nice hotels and a care free life style. She will wake up someday and have nothing, but that's little consilation right now. She really thinks I'm bluffing about MA. The fact is I am not, I am looking still in Texas, but these jobs in MA are very good and I would have to consider them. She really is on an island right now. The only one she has is OM and that is very non-commital. I have laid out my boundries and told her she can continue if she wishes, but I'm looking forward and doing what I have to to get my life in order. She is still claiming there is nothing between them, but she refuses to stop talking to him. She will not move out. She will not work on the marriage and she wont file. So I look forward and do what's best for me.

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