Can you give us more of the story? In chronilogical order?

Nesre

He is a bum. Only a bum would shag a married woman while her husband was deployed in the military.


He got you pregnant while you were married. Your feelings do not erase your adultery. People feel like stealing, it does not mean it is right.


And you abuse your husband by committing adultery. You abuse your daughter by teaching her that wrong is right and dragging her into a filthy affair. You are teaching her that "feelings" justify any kind of wrongdoing.

I am only going to say one thing. Then I must leave this thread to protect my sanity. I need to go get a mind bath.

Billionz:

Do you understand that you are re-writing who your husband is and what he has done in your mind solely for the purpose of justifying your sleazy affair?

If you do not understand what I am saying, fine. Let me say it another way. Professionals such as Child Protective Services, Judges, Lawyers and the like will spot the truth within seconds of you walking in the door. You won't even have to say a word. Do NOT in any way think from this moment on that you have one single unique thought in your head.

You don't. You are following a movie script called "Cheating wives talk." And not a word you are saying hasn't been said any number of times. If you are telling the truth about your husband, and I doubt it after reading your posts, why the heII didn't you already do something about it?

IF YOU HAVE SEEN TODDLERS BEATEN, WHY DIDN'T YOU GO TO CPS? Any rational human being would have done exactly that. This is why I doubt your story.

But I do think that somewhere in the back of you mind, where the private you lives, there must be shame.

Cheating on your husband solved, what?

Larry

If you're for real, you've come crashing in with a chip on your shoulder.

What are you hoping to get from MB?

I still believe you are a troll here but I can't resist.

The other man is a pile of dog crap. He is screwing a married woman how can you not see that he is a piece of sh*t? Because you are nuts because you are wayward.

You have a 2 year old daughter from your husband and now you whored around for a second time with the same man and got knocked up. I hope your kids somehow grow up to have good lives but with you as a mother I don't know how that will happen.

And stop with this abusive crap. Why did you marry him if you have seen that his whole family is abusive?

I'm trying to find where Dr. Harley talks about women leaving their marriage after they have a landing strip to go to. I guess he said that. I was told he said that. I would like to see his quote sometime.

My only question if he said it or not, is why women who want to leave their husbands, often find a sewer instead of a landing strip.

I am so out of here.

Larry

If his family beats their toddler children give examples. I think you are full of crap.

You married your husband because you were in love with him. Don't try to rewrite your past.

But you have now F'ed everything up so bad I don't think there is anything you can do.

Ok in order this is what happened.
We got together in 2004.
Dated on and off, unhealthy relationship, lies, cheating.
Thought we could get through it, i got pregnant in 2006.
Had baby in 2007.
He never worked or supported me throughout the whole pregnancy, never gave me a dollar.
He joined the military when the baby was 3 months old.
Still i had hope for us, tried to work it out for our daughter.
We got married in 2008 after his bootcamp, so we could move to the base together.
We were both not 100 percent ready for marriage.
The marriage was full of emotional abuse, and the military did not help.
We struggled with money, alot.
He would talk to other girls behind my back, and say things you should NOT say when you are married.
He would spend hours on the phone with other women while working overnight at work.
He would constantly lie.
He would be verbally abusive in front of our daughter.
I left in 2009, to my parents house in another state where i previously lived before moving with him.
I told him i wanted a divorce.
I stayed separated from him for 6 months.
During those months we were agreably not together.
I was only talking to this man 'W'.
We had a connection, but never took it further than friends.
We felt something for one another, for sure.
My husband came to see me after those 6 months, and we got back together.
When i got back I suggested marriage couseling, it failed because he would threaten me that if i told the therapist the truth, things would get bad.
So after 3 months, he got deployed.
Our problems werent solved, and i never got feelings back.
So while he was gone, he knew things were not good.
I went to another state where we lived, and met up with 'W'.
The feelings between us were too much to control, and i fell in love with him.
I was with him for 4 months, and just found out last week that i am pregnant.
'W' wants to make a life together, is willing to pay for my divorce, and support me and my child.
My husband is coming home from deployment in a week, and knows we are getting divorced.
He says hes not mad, and ive seen in his emails that he has a new girlfriend.
He didnt tell me, but i saw it.
My husband doesnt know i had an affair, or that i am pregnant.
He says 'go ahead and be with someone else, trust me, im not stopping u and i wont hold it against you'.
I want to move in with 'W', because he wants to be there for me during the pregnancy.
Right now i am in my parents house, and its not where i belong.
This is my whole story.
I am only 22.
I am hurt, and confused, and I dont know what to do.
So please dont be so rude, thank you.

I do not have any money of my own, i do not have a home of my own. I am so lost in this world right now. I dont have the first clue of what to do, I want to be a good mother to my daughter, she is my life.
I know i f'ed up, majorly.
But i cant go back, i can only move forward.
I need help, and guidance.

Do your parents have any sense? Can they help you before you screw up TWO kids instead of ONE?

Do they know you have got yourself knocked up by this other loser so maybe they can get custody of the 2 year old?

Young lady, your life thus far has been series of stupid choices based on the feeling of the moment. And here you are poised to make another stupid, tragic decision based on your silly feelings that will affect your daughter and this unborn child.

Speaking of which, have you ever heard of birth control? Do you know where babies come from?

Do you mean this?

My dad is not in the picture.
My mom says i never take her advice, and i wish i would have.
But she doesnt give advice now, because she knows i do not listen.
I dont want to lose custody of my daughter, and im pretty sure she would go to her father, before my mother? Correct?
I do not want him to have full custody, he will not be a good parent to her, he sometimes forgets he is watching her!
The birth control, it failed.
I am against abortions.
What do you suggest i do?

YES i mean that. I am being as honest as possible.

Billonz

As a Former WayWard, alcoholic, ONS- Retaliatory Affair after I sobered up, former verbal and physical abuser, Currently Betrayed spouse-All with the same Wife-We may have some common ground but I just cant buy into any mother allowing ANYONE to abuse their children.

Even in my F'd up life I wouldn't have allowed it and in no way would my Wife.

When you share more people will open up. You will get some 2x's along the way and if this story is true then some agressive steps need to be taken.

Nesre

My husband gave me money while he was away, when i said i wanted a divorce, he cut me off. He gave me $80 for my daughter for a month. Thats all. The only house we had, was on the base. Which i no longer can go to.
I dont have a car, because he took it.
I have nothing.
I may have had an affair, because no one can tell me how to feel.
But i was truly unhappy.
This other man makes me incredibly happy.
He appreciates me for who i am, and is far from a loser, i swear.
Im in a tough situation.

& on top of everythin, his mother is gettin involved, and packing up her stuff to go live in our house we had. Shes going to baby him and help him through this. She lied to him about everything. Saying i did a million things wrong i did not do, like ruining his car, and so on. He switched the power of attorney to her name, and gave over $1000 to her. Since hes in the military he only gets 2 days to leave the stated for a short vacation, and he has already made plans with his girlfriend, and his old friends, to go out and spend time with them, instead of focusing on his daughter.

His mothers quitting her job, and moving her 10 year old out of state, to baby her son. It is ridiculous, because i want to make this divorce go easily, and he knows that. but his low class family is tryin to make it harder.

I don't expect you to listen to me anymore than you do your mother, but I will just give this a whirl. I suspect, though, that you are not strong enough to overcome your feelings and won't be able to follow a sane, rational plan, but I could be wrong. Maybe you will surprise me.

The first thing I would do is lose the bum. [OM] You have to learn to judge men by their ACTIONS, not by their words. Scumbags will say whatever it takes to get in your pants, but a good man would never DO a married woman. The fact that he climbed into bed wtih you, reflects 2 things: he has no respect for you and he has no respect for marriage. He has spit in your face and you don't seem to get that. THEREFORE, it would be stupid to pursue a relationship with him. He is a loser and there is no future with a loser.

Secondly, I would tell your H the whole truth about your affair and that you are pregnant. Tell him if he wants to stay married to you, he will have to attend anger managment courses and marriage counseling. He will never abuse you again. He will have to get himself under control before you will ever consider living with him again.

And lastly, I would give the baby up for adoption. That baby deserves to have 2 sane parents in a stable home and you cannot provide that. Do something GREAT, do something RIGHT and give that child the best chance in life.

The next thing I would do is get a job and enroll in college. Stay with your mother and take advantage of her support by getting a degree when you can get her help to raise your daughter.

Not that it needs to be said ML, But you are amazing.

Billionz

Thanks for sharing more of your story.

Nesre