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If they stand behind her, I will wager it is because of blood. But between themselves they are likely condemning her action. I imagine her "whole actual truth" are embellishments based on a spoiled child's "feelings" and not based in reality. When her commanders hear her "whole actual truth", I think the response she gets will be slightly less supportive. Why? Because they are going to ask her, "did you commit adultery with lt. so and so. Now think hard about your answer, because we have documentary evidence and there will be a full investigation and interrogation. and if you lie your career is over". That is the only part of the "whole truth" they will be interested in.

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RIF has provided you with absolutely first rate advice.

Mortarman was a former poster on here He said:

Originally Posted by mortarman
The IG is a great tool, that not many people take advantage of. Why is it a great tool? Well, first off, it is against the law in the military. Second, the IG is not in the chain of command. The IG works directly for the Commanding General. So, unlike some commands that sweep some things under the rug, the IG wont (and cannot) sweep ANYTHING under the rug. They must investigate.

In my opinion, after 4 years as an IG, that if you are a spouse of a military member, or the OP is a member of the military, then the UCMJ is your friend!! By going to the IG, the WS or OP's commander will be ordered by the commanding general to take action. At the very least, the adulterous service member will be ordered not to have anything to do with the person they are sleeping with until they are divorced. And if they ignore that order? Well, that's jail time and a dishonorable discharge. At best, if the two infidels are in the chain of command with each other, then they will be court marshaled.

One of his threads is here:

mortarman

He has more to say at the linked thread.


Perhaps RIF will have something to say about IG Corp and the possibility of using that route if Command won't do anything as a result of your exposure to them currently. Keep in mind that if there is no solid proof as it exists, IG will investigate and Command can investigate, if I understand what mortarman has said.

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My understanding is that adultery can't really be proven without sworn statements by the adulterers admitting it, or photographs of them having sex. They can dismiss the phone records as being "just friends" that like to talk a lot.

Last edited by Jeff4187; 04/18/10 10:32 PM.
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Sure and you are correct, legally. According to Ex-IG mortarman, the CG can order stuff based on IG investigation which is what he stresses. At least that is what I think he said. Has she ever admitted it to you in an email?

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I'm not sure. When I first confronted her, she only wanted to talk about things on the phone and said she didn't want to ever put things in writing. During her brief moments of wanting to save the marriage, she may have written some things about it. I'd have to read back through all the emails to be sure, and I just don't feel like doing that right now.

My stomach is doing backflips right now, waiting for the other shoe to drop in a few hours.

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Hey Jeff,

On my lunch break and thought I'd check in...

By all means, DO NOT REPLY to her e-mail!!! You knew this was coming, and in about 4-5 more hours, the e-mails will really start flying!!! twoxfour You'll be the worst person walking the face of the earth once her adultery is exposed.

You are correct in that in order to charge someone under Article 134 (Adultery) that they will eiter need a signed confession or photos of the act. That's why I suggested providing your e-mail correspondence between your W and you to the respective Cdrs. I suspect that your W and the OM both are both "smart" enough to NOT correspond with each other on a government computer, but you never know.

If the Cmdr starts the Article 32 investigation, the investigating officer will more than likely "search" your W's computer and the OM's computer. Pretty much standard procedure in an investigation like this. IF they were stupid enough to use their govt. computer for their little "lurve chats", then the invesigation will bear this out.

At a minimum, they will both have been exposed for conduct unbecoming of an officer (a violation of Article 133). They will also most likely be ordered to cease all contact by phone, person, e-mail, etc.... so this will really bust up her affair bubble!

Again, prepare yourself for the angry hateful e-mails, because they will be heading your way in about 4-5 hrs. Don't let these e-mails get you down. You know what to expect... You've got the enemy's order of battle and you know their next move...

I would still highly recommend getting the OM's wife's name and address and expose the A to her ASAP! She will be one of your biggest allies in ensuring NC. (Think about it, SHE's the one that's going to be penalized if dear hubby gets himself kicked out of the Army with 19.5 years and no retirement!!!) rotflmao

...a nice thought for OM, but sad for his family... but hey, I have no compassion for a brother "officer" that would mess around with another soldier's wife while he's deloyed, so if that's the price OM has to pay, then so be it. (please, no RIF you're just mean comments!)

Semper Fi,

RIF


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I have no way to get the OM wife's address. I have her name, I know they're at Fort Sill (so on post or in Lawton, OK) but I can't get anything better than that. I've even tried some of "people search" web sites where I paid to do a thorough search. The only way I'm going to get a hold of her is if I can find someone @ Fort Sill that knows her, or can find her.

Her friend that I talked to at length 2 nights ago un-friended me on facebook without warning or correspondence. This is after we discussed everything and she agreed to talk to my wife to get her side. I'm now seriously wondering what my WW is telling people I've done.

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Hey Jeff - Get your Cdr to give the Ft. Sill Garrison Cdr a call... I'm pretty sure that they can find an address...

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

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Originally Posted by RIF
Hey Jeff - Get your Cdr to give the Ft. Sill Garrison Cdr a call... I'm pretty sure that they can find an address...

Semper Fi,

RIF

It doesn't seem likely that the command would have any interest in notifying the spouse of what is going on. Their interest is in military personnel. Am I wrong in thinking this?

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Hi Jeff,

Have you talked with your commander? If not, then I would and ask for his help.

A deployed soldier needs to be 100% mission focused and this is definitely affecting you... so it is a command "problem" that 99.99% of the commanders that I know would step in and help.

Mission readiness includes both the soldier and the spouse (even if the couple is dual military)...

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

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I have no company commander back at Fort Polk (went to SFAS) and I'm the XO. My BN commander hasn't responded to my emails or calls for a couple months now. My supervisor here is fully aware of the situation, but he's an Air Force LTC. I'm not sure he can just call up the garrison commander at Fort Sill and get an address...

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Don't guess if your boss can call, ask him to call.

Don't respond to WW rants.

Good job.

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Well the boss and I are both waiting to see how everyone in their CoC responds to the email in the next few hours... I'm sure he wouldn't want to take any action until we see what they all do.

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Hi Jeff,

Please use the following contact information and call/e-mail the Ft. Polk IG now!!!

Explian your situation to them and ask them to please represent you to the Commanding General since you are part of HIS command, even though you are deployed. Let them know that you've tried to go thorugh your C-of-C, but haven't been able to contact your Company Cdr, or BN Cdr... Also CC your downrange Cdr/OIC in the contact e-mail.

Be as specific as you can with who, what, when, and where... again, this is a MISSION READINESS issue and they WILL take this seriously.

I suspect that you will get some quick results!

Semper Fi,

RIF



Inspector General

1878 15th Street, Bldg 1943

Fort Polk, LA 71459
To contact us:
Phone: (337) 531-2100/7878

DSN: 863-2100/7878

Fax: (337) 531-4695

E-mail: polk.ig@conus.army.mil
Mission:
Department of the Army IG

800-752-9747


Me, BS

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Well I emailed my BDE commander, who is a great guy from what I know of him. He knows me personally. So I'll give him a chance to do what needs to be done as far as representing me. My BN commander will no doubt go nuts that I bypassed him, as he has in the past when he's ignored me for weeks and I've gone above him.

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Hey Jeff,

Good for you! Hopefully your Bde Cdr can help apply some pressure...

Give your C-of-C (Bde Cdr) time to work this for you... if you don't get any action, then CC him on your e-mail to the IG.

Semper fi,

RIF


Me, BS

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Originally Posted by Jeff4187
I have no way to get the OM wife's address. I have her name, I know they're at Fort Sill (so on post or in Lawton, OK) but I can't get anything better than that. I've even tried some of "people search" web sites where I paid to do a thorough search. The only way I'm going to get a hold of her is if I can find someone @ Fort Sill that knows her, or can find her.

Her friend that I talked to at length 2 nights ago un-friended me on facebook without warning or correspondence. This is after we discussed everything and she agreed to talk to my wife to get her side. I'm now seriously wondering what my WW is telling people I've done.

There are PI's or information websites (intellius.com) that can track down this information and much more for about $150 or less. I definitely would not give up so easy on finding OMW. She can be the biggest ally at ending the affair.

Also, what are the rules about taping conversations in the military? If she would never put anything in writing, can you get her to admit it on the phone and use that as evidence? I know you are in Afghanistan where there aren't Radio Shack's readily available, but I'm sure you could figure out something, like recording on speaker or having someone back home send you a recorder.

Last edited by jmwc95; 04/19/10 07:30 AM.

Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
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I got a response from my BN commander. Apparently he's been sending emails for a while and I haven't been receiving them. He wants the actual phone bills as evidence (I sent them condensed phone logs that I created.) He also said that a sworn statement by me explaining what my wife said about the affair would go far when combined with the phone bills.

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Hey Jeff - It's 0900 at Ft. Sill... any vile e-mail mssgs yet?

Remember, you EXPECT these e-mails, so please try not to let them get to you... stick with your original OPORD and don't let her "FRAGOs" rattle you.

Hopefully your Bde Cdr will get back with you quickly. I'd give him at least a day or so to work on it, then I'd send him another e-mail if you haven't heard back from him to let him know that due to the seriousness of the situation, and the timely intervention needed to save your marriage, that you are going to the IG. (You can use the Ft. Polk IG, or the IG there in A-Stan...either one should be able to help you)

Hiring a PI is also another good idea, though it might be hard for him to gain access to the base... I'd think this through before hiring one. My concern would be if the PI is caught snooping around and the MP's learn that you've hired him, it may negatively impact your case. A PI is going to stick out like a sore thumb, especially if he's hanging around office building/barracks/BOQs/or housing areas.

Semper Fi,

RIF

PS - Here's the "mission statement" for the IG at Ft. Polk:

Quote
Mission:

On a continuing basis, the Inspector General, JRTC and Fort Polk, determines the state of economy, efficiency, discipline, and readiness throughout the command as directed by the commanding general, and provides assistance, on an area basis, to commanders, soldiers, family members, civilian employees, retirees, and others who seek help with problems related to the U. S. Army, so as to facilitate efficiencies and combat readiness.


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

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Multiple A's that ended '90

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Hoooah!!!


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

Married Dec 86

Multiple A's that ended '90

Rebuilding In Faith since then...

Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
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