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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
Originally Posted by sickwithworry
Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
Also, will they each have a right to legal counsel during the investigation? As in a civilian criminal case, where the suspect can just shut up and not answer any questions at all. Can they just not talk at all?

Is it not 0240 there? Shouldn't you be asleep if not on watch?

Old Sea Daddy speaking.

SWW

On watch? Heh. It's 2145 here.

Oops, I never was very good at dat! Still ain't... have been thinking a lot lately bout a place that starts with Pyong and ends in Yang and factoring in the 1/2 hour weirdo thing for AF.

I am getting old.

SWW

Last edited by sickwithworry; 04/20/10 11:37 AM.
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Originally Posted by RIF
Semper Fi,

RIF

PS - Hey Old Sea Daddy, it's 2034 here in Iraq...

Smart aleck kids go no respect for old people these days. laugh

SWW

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Folks,

I haven't read to the end of todays thread, but I thought I would comment on this.
Quote
That is interesting.

I know two people who are in the intelligence field. And both of them are serial cheaters.
I am not in the intel business, but I work with and hold high level clearances. Obviously all of the people I work with hold them. I see no evidence, and I am talking about 1000's of people for over 40 years, to indicate that people with clearances cheat or divorce anymore often than the general population.

Need-to-know requirements means even if H and W have same level of clearances they cannot talk about what each of them do.

He clearance is probably toast because her command won't want to invest the money on an unproven commodity with a dubious sense of morals.

Just my thoughts.

JL

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Smart aleck kids go no respect for old people these days.


Here, here!!! cool

JL

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Gerka,

I would not as RIF has said worry about the clearance thing. Really that is the least of the issues. I would not worry too much about OM's parents. My guess is that you have not heard for OM's W because she has been too busy twoxfour on her H.

I would also guess that she is in even more emotional turmoil than you are. As every one has said, you have handled this mess very well, and you have your head screwed on straight. OM's W may not have gotten far enough down the road with this new knowledge to do anything but think about her family and herself.

I think the exposure to CoC is going to prove to be the most effective thing you could have done. Get some rest, take care of yourself, and just let the electrons your W is expending trying to contact you move on to your commander as you have been doing.

God Bless,

JL

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Originally Posted by Just Learning
Gerka,

I would not as RIF has said worry about the clearance thing. Really that is the least of the issues. I would not worry too much about OM's parents. My guess is that you have not heard for OM's W because she has been too busy twoxfour on her H.

I would also guess that she is in even more emotional turmoil than you are. As every one has said, you have handled this mess very well, and you have your head screwed on straight. OM's W may not have gotten far enough down the road with this new knowledge to do anything but think about her family and herself.

I think the exposure to CoC is going to prove to be the most effective thing you could have done. Get some rest, take care of yourself, and just let the electrons your W is expending trying to contact you move on to your commander as you have been doing.

God Bless,

JL

One thing I would disagree with is exposure to OM's parents. In my case exposing to his parents made my WW no longer a viable long term option for her because they felt she was a slut for cheating on her husband. She would not have been welcome at family functions and OM new that. They let him know that he should be persuing only non-married women. This work better, though, when a person is younger and more influenced by their parents, as well as how religious their parents are. Of course this person was a loser and getting some financial support from his parents. He was also 25. His parents were also Catholic and sent him to a private Catholic college. They did not want their boy wrecking a marriage and dating some "piece of trash" in their minds. Last time I checked (he attempted to "friend" my FWW on facebook), he was dating a Jewish girl (whom I subsequently informed about his affair with a married woman). Oh, well.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
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I am a bit concerned about the comment that TS clearances start affairs by talking among themselves stuff they cannot talk about with their spouses. Having held as high a clearance as you can get as an EM in the Army working for NSA, I was always given to understand that you didn't talk to fellow workers about what you did except through specific and official channels, period.

And that mean the desk or console next to the one you occupied. And that meant off duty or on duty. That meant don't share anything except through official, specific channels, period, at the risk of really bad things happening to you.

Maybe I misunderstood the comment.

Just saying. . .

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Well, still didn't hear back from OMW. Looks like my WW took her car off our insurance while I was asleep. She also changed the password to our audible.com account, which sucks because I started it, and I like listening to audio books here in Afghanistan...

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Good Morning Gurka!

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Well, still didn't hear back from OMW.

And??? Were you expecting anything from her? Try not to project what you would do if you were the OM's W, and then worry that "something" isn't right because OM's W hasn't contacted you.

Quote
Looks like my WW took her car off our insurance while I was asleep.

Ha! She's really showing you who's the "boss"! Right? Hope she doen't have a wreck with no insurance... that's going to really cost her! hee hee...

Quote
She also changed the password to our audible.com account, which sucks because I started it, and I like listening to audio books here in Afghanistan...


And? You were expecting sweetness and light from her? This does sound rather childish, but she's a "big girl" and can do whatever she wants. Her next step will be to confront you and bring these topics (car insurance, changed passwords, book accounts) up during your next chat/phonecall/e-mail...

Don't fall for it!!! Keep on your message of "I love you and I will do whatever it takes to save or M"... Expect her to try and find more actions to hurt you... she's now in rolling on the floor and stomping her feet saying "It's not FAIR!!!" just like a little kid...

You know it's coming, you knew it was coming, because we've all been through it and gave you the battle plan... I know it sucks to listen to her drivel, but don't take it to heart!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

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Multiple A's that ended '90

Rebuilding In Faith since then...

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Yeah, it's right up there with un-friending me on facebook and making herself "invisible" on google chat (though still trying to initiate conversations.) It's like I'm in a marriage with a middle schooler.

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It's like I'm in a marriage with a middle schooler.


rotflmao

hee hee... exactly!!!


Me, BS

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Gerka,

Right now you are married to an alien. Your W got beamed up to the Mothership and the replacement is a bit childish because she hasn't been on planet very long. wink So don't be surprised that she acts like a child cause she is a newbie alien.

Hang in there.

JL

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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
Well, still didn't hear back from OMW.

And it might be you never will. Don't worry about that. OMW in my case never contacted me after exposure but OM was stupid enough to let me know that the message was delivered. wink


Me (FWH) 44
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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
Yeah, it's right up there with un-friending me on facebook and making herself "invisible" on google chat (though still trying to initiate conversations.) It's like I'm in a marriage with a middle schooler.

Can you say...PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE?


Jim

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FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
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So I guess now we play the waiting game? The investigations will start to roll and crush them over the next few weeks. How long do you expect it will be before I hear from my WW again?

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Good afternoon Gurka!

I would guess that the investigation(s) wouldn't take more than a week maybe two at the most...

I would expect a few more nasty e-mails from your W as the investigation moves forward (more threats, more information to show you how wrong you are, etc).

Remember, when your W contacts you, she will be trying to get you to get angry with her... if you get angry with her or lose your temper, then SHE will feel justified in her anger towards you. Don't fall for her tricks!

It's just 0613 at Ft. Sill, so it may be a couple more hours before you hear something from your W...

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

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She's at Fort Huachuca, he's at Fort Sill. Only 0430 at Fort Huachuca yet.

I wonder if she hasn't been counseled by her civilian divorce attorney or a judge advocate not to speak to me anymore.

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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
She's at Fort Huachuca, he's at Fort Sill. Only 0430 at Fort Huachuca yet.

I wonder if she hasn't been counseled by her civilian divorce attorney or a judge advocate not to speak to me anymore.

Hey Gerka,

In a marriage with a middle schooler. Indeed! Taking the car off the insurance? Audible.com change passwords?
Think of the look on a baby's face when you rip the lollipop out of its mouth. She is just acting out trying to get your attention and get you angry like RIF says. Pay no attention. No matter what she says be nice, and it's always I am just doing what i believe is necessary to save our marriage. Period. You are doing great!

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I wonder if she hasn't been counseled by her civilian divorce attorney or a judge advocate not to speak to me anymore.


Who knows... it really doesn't matter does it?

The goal of exposing was/is to end the A. I suspect that she will contact you later on today... if she doesn't, then focus on exposing to the OM's parents, and read up on Plan-A.

The investigations will happen and you most likely won't hear anything about the outcome, unless your W gets kicked out of the Army, then you'll hear from her how it was "all your fault"...

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

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Multiple A's that ended '90

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Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
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Originally Posted by sickwithworry
Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
She's at Fort Huachuca, he's at Fort Sill. Only 0430 at Fort Huachuca yet.

I wonder if she hasn't been counseled by her civilian divorce attorney or a judge advocate not to speak to me anymore.

Hey Gerka,

In a marriage with a middle schooler. Indeed! Taking the car off the insurance? Audible.com change passwords?
Think of the look on a baby's face when you rip the lollipop out of its mouth. She is just acting out trying to get your attention and get you angry like RIF says. Pay no attention. No matter what she says be nice, and it's always I am just doing what i believe is necessary to save our marriage. Period. You are doing great!

SWW

I just noticed that she changed our bank information to "separated." So she doesn't show up as my spouse anymore. I also notice that she added her father as a "step-child," though I guess that could have happened a while ago.

So filing for divorce and taking steps separate all of our finances is a typical response in this kind of situation? It just seems unlikely for things to go back in the other direction from here...

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