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Originally Posted by Marshmallow
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Think about your options Jeff.
You could say nothing, and WW would continue to see OM.
The A could die on it's own or the OM could dump your WW. No one but the three of you would know.


I think a more likelier senario would have been Jeff did nothing but try to reason w/ WW until he lost all love her and gave up.

I think that's realistically what was happening. As she wavered between saying she wanted a divorce, our marriage wasn't worth saving, the OM was so wonderful and amazing her best friend AND she wanted to save our marriage, she wanted to live with me again, she wanted a family with me some day, she loves me so much. Getting my hopes up SO high when she would have "good" days, and then having them smashed back down a day or two later was destroying me.

At least this way I'll either save my marriage or I won't, without the OM hopefully there won't be any flip-flopping.

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Originally Posted by Marshmallow
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Think about your options Jeff.
You could say nothing, and WW would continue to see OM.
The A could die on it's own or the OM could dump your WW. No one but the three of you would know.


I think a more likelier senario would have been Jeff did nothing but try to reason w/ WW until he lost all love her and gave up.
I completely agree, I think that would have been the scenario here.
I was pointing out other scenarios of not using MB against adultery.


M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA


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Should I expect a response of, "You know I'm keeping him, right?"


Hey Gurka - Yes, if you know that she knows how much you love the dog, she will most likely say something like this.

Expect it... anything she can do to lash out at you and "hurt" you will be her motivation for a while.

Semper Fi,

RIF

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I'm more expecting no response after her last email of "plan on the next time you talk to me it being in front of a lawyer or a judge."

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Hey Gurka,

Well, I think she will contact you... Remember,she did say that she wasn't going to "speak" with you again after "all of this"...

Just relax and try not to worry about it... she's following the WS script to the letter!

Semper Fi,

RIF

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Sigh, the waiting is the hardest part. Waiting to see if my old wife comes out all of this mess. I love her so much. It'd be easy to just walk away if I didn't. frown

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It hasn't even been two weeks yet, though I know it probably feels like two years for you...

For better or worse... this is one of those "worse" times. The investigation hasn't even been going on for a week yet and it will probably go on through next week, then it will take a day or so for the investigating officers to write up their findings...

Then I suspect that you'll start to see some positive changes.


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Originally Posted by RIF
It hasn't even been two weeks yet, though I know it probably feels like two years for you...

For better or worse... this is one of those "worse" times. The investigation hasn't even been going on for a week yet and it will probably go on through next week, then it will take a day or so for the investigating officers to write up their findings...

Then I suspect that you'll start to see some positive changes.

You'll start to see some positive changes after NC w/ OM. The first 2-3 weeks are the worst. If she gets through that without contacting OM, then you'll start seeing another improvement at about the 2 month timeframe, and after 6 months withdrawal should be fully complete and she will hate the thought of OM. The key is getting NC w/ OM. If they just go further underground with their "affair phones," then things will get worse.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Well, just got this from my wife in response to the dog pictures:


Stop writing me. We are not friends and this is not going to work out for you. Your little plan didn't work, and I am never going to forgive you for what you put me through. If you keep writing me I will just block your email, and then you won't be able to reach me for the important stuff. I am no longer going to Fort Polk, and I will not see you alone when you come up here, so good luck with all your scheming and planning.

I don't want to see pictures of Apollo, he is your dog now, not mine

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"I am never going to forgive you for what you put me through."

Grrr, sorry to make your affair so unpleasant for you.

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Are you entitled to an update from command on the investigation?

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Hmmm, she answered. If she really didn't want to talk to you, she wouldn't have answered.

I wonder why she told she is no longer going to Fort Polk?


Me: BW, 46
Him: WH, 48
EA/PA with co-worker 8-08 to 7-09
D-day 7-29
NC 8-17
OW and WH both fired from jobs
OW lost court case for restraining order- judge called her a "practiced deciever" who manufactured evidence!!
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I imagine she called her branch manager and threw a fit saying she doesn't want to come to Fort Polk. Like I've said before, not being able to physically be together for all of this is a big deal. If we can't hold the marriage together until I get back, and then get her stationed at Fort Polk, we have no chance.

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My money is on this not going on and on, because OM is going to protect himself. He will toss your wife and suddenly "see the light" and scramble to save his marriage.

If you email your wife she is going to threaten to block you. If you don't email her, she will accuse you of ignoring her. She is very angry and that shows that your plan is working.


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And no, I'm not entitled to know the command's findings at all. It's possible they've already dismissed everything.

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Thinking:

"I know you're angry and hurt right now. I'm more than your friend, I'm your husband, and I'm still fighting for our marriage. I know you want to know that I'm ok, that's why I've been writing you. Apollo is our dog, and I'm sure he misses you as much as he misses me."

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Dismissed? Already? That doesn't sound like much of an investigation. Considering they were already investigated once at OCS. Weren't they ordered not to fraternize then?

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Yeah. But the adultery investigations I've seen conducted in my unit back at Fort Polk were... less than thorough. Wife calls, presents tons of evidence of soldier cohabitating with another woman... Company commander calls soldier in, "Are you committing adultery?" "No sir!" "Ok, that's all, thanks." Insufficient evidence written on the report.

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Your little plan didn't work, and I am never going to forgive you for what you put me through.


So says the woman that's in the process of loosing her Army career and OM! Seems like your plan is working just fine!!! hurray

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If you keep writing me I will just block your email, and then you won't be able to reach me for the important stuff.


Oh, "important stuff" like checking up on you to see if you've gotten the divorce papers or signed the waiver or signed the divorce papers??? think

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I am no longer going to Fort Polk,...

Yeah, I didn't like Ft. Polk much either... well, except for the fishing at Toledo Bend and Sam Rayburn!!! cool

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and I will not see you alone when you come up here, so good luck with all your scheming and planning.


Boo Hoo... guess she's expecting you to come crawling to Ft. Huachuca on your hands and knees, begging for her to "take you back"!!! Sounds like she's already gotten everything figured out as to exactly what you'll do Gurka! rotflmao

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I don't want to see pictures of Apollo, he is your dog now, not mine


Great! Now you don't have to worry about her taking the dog!!! dance2

Yep, and all this after she said that she was "NEVER" going to speak with you again! MrRollieEyes

It's working! I suspect that the investigating officers are taking a break for the weekend and she's had lots of time to sit around and think about her situation with the OM... She knows that she's in deep trouble no matter what happens, and she's lashing out at YOU because you've spoiled all of her fun and excitement.

Hang in there Gerka!

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

Married Dec 86

Multiple A's that ended '90

Rebuilding In Faith since then...

Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
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What did you think of the response I wrote above RIF? Or is this a no-response situation?

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