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Originally Posted By: ChrisInNOVA
With regard to DAS's H, I stand by my original opinion. believe that if he has a diagnosis of "Depression" and he is taking psychotropic medication, he should be under a physician's care.


I think you are misunderstanding MelodyLane's suggestion. She is not saying that he should not be under a physician's care. In fact, she specifically said "There is a huge difference between an evaluation for anti-d's from an MD and getting individual counseling for "childhood trauma," and THAT is what we are talking about here. [see title "childhood trauma, IC and MB"] People get anti-depressants every day after a simple evaluation. They don't go through months of counseling. " So her expectation is anti-depressants prescribed by a physician -- which would mean she completely expects him to be under a physician's care!

She is not saying to stop taking anti-depressants or to continue taking them without a physician's care. She is saying to stop spending money on individual counseling and suggesting that money be spent on Marriage Builders instead.

There is no suggestion here of a depressed person not being treated by a physician. I think what you are really reacting to is the difference of opinion over individual counseling. But don't allow that to get confused with the issue of treatment by a physician.


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Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
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Originally Posted By: ChrisInNOVA
That is untrue...I have not ignored this. I referred to it in my last post and before that I NEVER said that spending months in therapy talking about one's childhood is useful or appropriate.


Since you aren't saying that months in individual counseling is useful or appropriate, and since MelodyLane isn't suggesting that the depressed husband forgo anti-depressants or a physician's care, what exactly is it that you are taking issue with?


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Originally Posted By: ChrisInNOVA
[
I stated to her more than twice that she should be seeing results and if she isn't, a change may be in order. You suggested something which I, along with several people in the discussion, found to be scary and irresponsible.



Chris, lets be clear here. A change obviously is in order. He is spending his time in IC delving into his childhood. THAT is the change that needs to take place. There is nothing "scary" about that. That is EXACTLY WHAT Dr Harley says in his quotes, that spending time examining one's childhood is a WASTE OF TIME and a distraction. To advise her NOT to change is what is scary and IRRESPONSIBLE.

We need to stick to Dr Harley's words, here, Chris and help this woman follow HIS PLAN, not ours. This should not be up for debate.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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****************edit******************



Last edited by Fireproof; 04/27/10 11:31 AM. Reason: tos - bickering, badgering
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Originally Posted By: MelodyLane

Chris, lets be clear here. A change obviously is in order. He is spending his time in IC delving into his childhood. THAT is the change that needs to take place. There is nothing "scary" about that. That is EXACTLY WHAT Dr Harley says in his quotes, that spending time examining one's childhood is a WASTE OF TIME and a distraction. To advise her NOT to change is what is scary and IRRESPONSIBLE.

We need to stick to Dr Harley's words, here, Chris and help this woman follow HIS PLAN, not ours. This should not be up for debate.


I am being clear and saying that I found your comment about the money to be inappropriate. I do disagree with your personal outlook on psychotherapy but that's besides the point.

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Originally Posted By: markos
Originally Posted By: ChrisInNOVA
With regard to DAS's H, I stand by my original opinion. believe that if he has a diagnosis of "Depression" and he is taking psychotropic medication, he should be under a physician's care.


I think you are misunderstanding MelodyLane's suggestion. She is not saying that he should not be under a physician's care. In fact, she specifically said "There is a huge difference between an evaluation for anti-d's from an MD and getting individual counseling for "childhood trauma," and THAT is what we are talking about here. [see title "childhood trauma, IC and MB"] People get anti-depressants every day after a simple evaluation. They don't go through months of counseling. " So her expectation is anti-depressants prescribed by a physician -- which would mean she completely expects him to be under a physician's care!

She is not saying to stop taking anti-depressants or to continue taking them without a physician's care. She is saying to stop spending money on individual counseling and suggesting that money be spent on Marriage Builders instead.

There is no suggestion here of a depressed person not being treated by a physician. I think what you are really reacting to is the difference of opinion over individual counseling. But don't allow that to get confused with the issue of treatment by a physician.


This is exactly right, Markos; she has confused the issue at hand. The issue, as I have pointed out ENDLESS TIMES is right in the title of this thread, and really can't be missed: "childhood trauma, IC and MB"

Maybe now we can get back to the real issue.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Lets keep posts productive and get back on track. The bickering needs to stop. Help this poster learn Marriage Builders or please refrain from posting. This forum is to help posters learn and understand Marriage Builders.

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********************edit******************

Last edited by Fireproof; 04/27/10 11:37 AM. Reason: TOS - argumentative, disruptive
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