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Watching the simpsons.


Now there's a wholesome show!!! laugh

Let us know how the JAG appointment goes tomorrow...

Semper Fi,

RIF

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One of my wife's friends started chatting with me online earlier. Saying how my wife was doing the wrong thing by having an affair with a married father of 3, and refusing to stop it was so terrible. Now I haven't even talked to her about any of this, so she must have heard it all from my wife, so I was kind of excited that someone that heard from her was seeing things somewhat objectively. Until she started with "you've always been too good for her anyway", "you've always been a great guy," and "we should get some dinner or something when you get back."

Struck me as hugely inappropriate. I didn't even know how to respond. And it cast doubt on everything she'd said up to that point. And I was so hopeful that one of her friends had actually seen the light. Sigh.

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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
One of my wife's friends started chatting with me online earlier. Saying how my wife was doing the wrong thing by having an affair with a married father of 3, and refusing to stop it was so terrible. Now I haven't even talked to her about any of this, so she must have heard it all from my wife, so I was kind of excited that someone that heard from her was seeing things somewhat objectively. Until she started with "you've always been too good for her anyway", "you've always been a great guy," and "we should get some dinner or something when you get back."

Struck me as hugely inappropriate. I didn't even know how to respond. And it cast doubt on everything she'd said up to that point. And I was so hopeful that one of her friends had actually seen the light. Sigh.

Well at least if you do wind up getting divorced you know which friend of hers you can sleep with to get back at her. (I know, bad joke.) stickout

Last edited by jmwc95; 04/28/10 12:59 PM.

Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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redflagand "we should get some dinner or something when you get back." redflag


Is this friend married? Be very careful here... Sounds like your W may be using one of her friends to try and get a little G-2 on you, OR she may just think that you're going to divorce your W and is looking at you as "easy pickings"... Either way, I'd be very careful...

Quote
And I was so hopeful that one of her friends had actually seen the light. Sigh.


I wouldn't worry too much about her "friends"... I suspect that they've known about the A for a while, but none of them that knew you both were "friends" enough to tell YOU abou what was going on...

Semper Fi,

RIF

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Just thought of somthing else that might have prompted the chat...

Your W may have asked this "friend" to chat you up in order to get you focused on "life after Mrs. Gurka"... you know, if this friend is single, maybe Mrs. Gurka was just "looking out for you" and told her "friend" that you would soon be "available"... and for her to try and cheer you up.

Or she could be trying to trap you into getting "romantic" with this friend in order for her to use that as a defense for her own investigation.

"See CPT Investigator, My Husband LT Gurka, is cheating on me too.... he started it first and he accused me so he wouldn't get in trouble"

Regardless, I'd be careful around this "friend". Stay focused on your goal of exposing the A and ending the A. You know that the investigations are on-going, so it's just a matter of time before the hammer drops on OM and your W... then the REAL venom and nastyness will come out.

Check out the thread that's going on now about what WS have said during the A and right after exposure.... I can almost bet that Mrs. Gurka will say some of the EXACT things to you once the investigation is over and she loses the OM and her Army career...

Good night and get some rest!

Semper Fi,

RIF


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No, she's not married. It just struck me as her being an opportunist trying to take advantage of the situation. I'm not interested in other women, I'm interested in saving my marriage.

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I'm with RIF - probably a trap. Email her back that you love your wife and are hoping to reconcile.

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Ditto what Believer said!

G'night Gurka! Its 0003 there... aren't you tired?

I'll check back with you tomorrow...

Semper Fi,

RIF

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If I could send you something, it would be this!
I have a son about your age, he loves them. smile
And, I can't even imagine how worried I would be if it were him in your shoes, and dealing with this so far away from family support.
You be Careful young lad. hug Get your sleep and keep your wits about you.

[Linked Image from goodnewsisnews.com]



M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA


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Originally Posted by Vittoria
If I could send you something, it would be this!
I have a son about your age, he loves them. smile
And, I can't even imagine how worried I would be if it were him in your shoes, and dealing with this so far away from family support.
You be Careful young lad. hug Get your sleep and keep your wits about you.

[Linked Image from goodnewsisnews.com]

You are making me hungry.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
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edit .... just noticed that I somehow messed up the quotes, the original quote is from Jim, the reply is RIF.

Originally Posted by jmwc95
Originally Posted by RIF
I don't want you to fight so hard to try and save this only to find she's been screwing around on you this whole time with multiple men. Just be very cautious about saving this marriage and insist on a polygraph if you eventually get to that point.


Hey Gurka,

I agree with jmwc95 on this, but I'll continue to say let's focus on exposure and ending the A.

THEN we can re-evaluate where you are and what you'd like to do. We'll help you with whatever decision you make when the time comes.

Multipl A's are a totally different animal...trust me, I know. frown

Again, keep your focus on exposing and ending the A... then we'll re-evaluate and see which way you want to go.

Semper Fi,

RIF
Just so you know Gurka, I stand in this camp too.
It's a process of re-evaluation in each phase.

The comment from the other soldier about an open M, my first thought was that maybe this guy was trying to tell you, in a round about way,
that your W was cheating on you. You know, doing the right thing, most people turn a blind eye, don't want to get involved.
It would never have occurred to me that a WS would proclaim to having an open M. Nothing surprises me anymore. MrRollieEyes

Yeah, I agree there is something fishy with WW's GF. At first she sounds like she has her morals in the right place, until she basically asks you out. faint
I agree, send her back that reply that Believer suggested, then ..... no more talk with her.

Last edited by Vittoria; 04/28/10 02:35 PM.

M'd 22 years
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D-Day 08/08 LTA


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I know Jim, isn't that a great pic, I can make them just like that too!
Can't you just smell them coming right out of the oven! lol


M'd 22 years
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D-Day 08/08 LTA


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JAG basically told me to get divorced right now, since my wife offered such generous terms. If I drag it out, and my wife gets kicked out of the Army and still wants a divorce, I'll likely be on the hook for spousal support. frown

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Oh yeah, and my WW altering our insurance puts her in contempt of court for violating the injunction. She's subject to arrest and prosecution for "interfering with judicial proceedings."

Though I don't think jail, on top of everything else, would really do our relationship much good.

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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
JAG basically told me to get divorced right now, since my wife offered such generous terms. If I drag it out, and my wife gets kicked out of the Army and still wants a divorce, I'll likely be on the hook for spousal support. frown

wow. Interesting advice.

On a side note, thank you for serving and stay safe.

Last edited by AnnaBelleRose; 04/29/10 06:30 AM. Reason: Cause I should write at 3am...

AnnaBelle Rose

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Rapid divorce in the face of persistent, unrepentant adultery, especially where there are no children is a path often advised by Dr Harley.

You should consider this another weapon in your arsenal, no more , no less.

All blessings


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If I drag it out, and my wife gets kicked out of the Army and still wants a divorce, I'll likely be on the hook for spousal support.


Hey Gurka,

Ok, JAG presented another view of your situation. Like I've been saying all along, this is YOUR decision and we will support you all the way with whatever you decide to do.

The fact that you don't have any kids is a huge factor in walking away from the M as some have suggested earlier. There are many factors to consider and you've heard many of them already:

- No kids
- Geographically separated
- Minimal marriage history of living together as husband & wife
- Possibility of multiple A's
- Geographic separation is likely to continue as long as both of you are in the Army
- Financial liability if W gets kicked out of the Army

I don't think that you have to make this decision right now. The investigation is still on-going, and you are protected by law from having to deal with this while you're deployed.

There may be some financial risk by delaying until you return home IF your W is booted out of the Army... but if she isn't, then that risk should go down as she won't be able to claim that you "took away" her means of making a living.

It's pretty much comes down to this: Are you willing to fight for the opportunity of saving your marriage, or are the negative factors listed above too risky for you to ignore.

Nobody here will think any less of you if you decide to walk away.... and if you decide to continue fighting for your M, we'll still be here for you!

Semper Fi,

RIF

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There are other considerations. Why did the jag recommend D?

Is their someone trying to protect the OM's career?

Does WW have a high higher up trying to protect her?

To the unheaven with protecting the OM, WW, and ayone else that will get pulled down with the WW.

Dishonest people do not belong in the military. No one should have to count on people without integrity when in harms way.

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The risks are negligible compared to how much I want to save my marriage. I'm sticking with my plan.

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The risks are negligible compared to how much I want to save my marriage. I'm sticking with my plan.


Roger! Hang on for a rough ride... know that you'll have some great people here to help you and guide you along the way.

Semper Fi,

RIF

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