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Last edited by BerlinMB; 05/03/10 04:00 PM. Reason: TOS violation
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WW seems very depressed. I think she's overwhelmed by the paperwork her lawyer sent her home with. She looks like she's going to break down and cry most of the time.

Think maybe now she's beginning to understand that she went all-in on a terrible hand. She has no job. She has no money. She's losing her loving husband, her house, her car, her lifestyle, humiliated herself in the eyes of her family and mine, and has hurt her children. All for what? Some selfish jerk and her enabling, narcissistic friend.

Adultery sucks.


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Unfortunately that is a lesson she needs to learn.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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We both have retained lawyers. I filed. Her lawyer responded.

Today we met with a mediator so that hopefully we can figure out most of the stuff ourselves and keep the lawyers around just to type it all into legaleez. Seems like it will be less expensive both emotionally and financially.

Make sense?


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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I haven't read much of your thread but if you truely want a D then why try drag it out? Do you still have hope for reovery?

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Originally Posted By: now_what
I haven't read much of your thread but if you truely want a D then why try drag it out? Do you still have hope for reovery?


I no longer wish to reconcile. Neither does WW. We are going to D. I just want to do it as amicably and inexpensively as possible. That's why we met with the mediator who is also a Certified Divorce Financial Planner.

He also works with child custody coaches who will help us figure that out.

Really, our lawyers would just be kept on to file the papers, once WE make all the decisions.


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Life seems to be going on as usual. WW and I take the kids to little league games, soccer games, out for pizza and ice cream. Only there's this giant black cloud of impending doom hanging over our heads. It really sucks.


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Be very careful. WWs can REALLY screw over BHs in court if they don't watch themselves. DO NOT let what happened to Pom happen to you.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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Thanks Karmarose.

I think I'm being pretty cautious. My lawyer will look over anything before I sign.

Tomorrow we meet with a child custody coach to figure out what our options are. I know this is going to be rough emotionally.


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Well, we met with the child custody coach. It was our first meeting with her, so it was more of an informative session rather than a nuts and bolts session.

Doing this D in a more collaborative way seems like it's probably going to be better for everyone. Financially. Emotionally. For the kids. For WW. And for myself.

But a big part of me still wants to rake WW over the coals.


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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How are things going for you lately?


The one constant through all the years has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and it could be again.
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Been away on business a bit lately. WW is very unhappy now that I've closed our joint bank accounts and credit cards.

I direct deposit into my own account now and give her a stipend.

Maybe reality will finally start to set in for her... nah.


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Originally Posted By: TryingEverything
Been away on business a bit lately. WW is very unhappy now that I've closed our joint bank accounts and credit cards.

I direct deposit into my own account now and give her a stipend.

Maybe reality will finally start to set in for her... nah.


They usually are. You did the right thing. I don't think that alone will have her enter reality, but it nudges her closer to it.


-SOL
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Uggggh! I just want to be out of this house and away from WW. We are so stuck with this underwater mortgage.

I see us divorced soon and still living under the same roof. Can't believe this is happening.


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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WW and I met with the divorce financial planner/mediator today. Gave him all our financials. He's going to run the numbers and tell us our options.

On the way out to the car car in the parking garage, WW asked me about custody. I told her I was interested in standard custody. She said, every other weekend and once or twice during the week? I said, Yeah, something like that. Then she said, and two weeks during the summer?

When she said that, she burst into tears.


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Originally Posted By: TryingEverything
WW and I met with the divorce financial planner/mediator today. Gave him all our financials. He's going to run the numbers and tell us our options.

On the way out to the car car in the parking garage, WW asked me about custody. I told her I was interested in standard custody. She said, every other weekend and once or twice during the week? I said, Yeah, something like that. Then she said, and two weeks during the summer?

When she said that, she burst into tears.




How an when will you tell your children how easily you gave up on them?

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Originally Posted By: TryingEverything
WW and I met with the divorce financial planner/mediator today. Gave him all our financials. He's going to run the numbers and tell us our options.

On the way out to the car car in the parking garage, WW asked me about custody. I told her I was interested in standard custody. She said, every other weekend and once or twice during the week? I said, Yeah, something like that. Then she said, and two weeks during the summer?

When she said that, she burst into tears.



Sounds like reality is finally setting in with her.


W (me) 44
H 43
Married 19 years
DS 17
DS 15
DD 13
DD 8
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Originally Posted By: MaiMai
Originally Posted By: TryingEverything
WW and I met with the divorce financial planner/mediator today. Gave him all our financials. He's going to run the numbers and tell us our options.

On the way out to the car car in the parking garage, WW asked me about custody. I told her I was interested in standard custody. She said, every other weekend and once or twice during the week? I said, Yeah, something like that. Then she said, and two weeks during the summer?

When she said that, she burst into tears.




How an when will you tell your children how easily you gave up on them?



Pretty dumb thing to say.


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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Originally Posted By: MaiMai
Originally Posted By: TryingEverything
WW and I met with the divorce financial planner/mediator today. Gave him all our financials. He's going to run the numbers and tell us our options.

On the way out to the car car in the parking garage, WW asked me about custody. I told her I was interested in standard custody. She said, every other weekend and once or twice during the week? I said, Yeah, something like that. Then she said, and two weeks during the summer?

When she said that, she burst into tears.




How an when will you tell your children how easily you gave up on them?


In his defense, his WW is a SAHM. It's not like he's going to get 50/50 custody.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Originally Posted By: jmwc95
Originally Posted By: MaiMai
Originally Posted By: TryingEverything
WW and I met with the divorce financial planner/mediator today. Gave him all our financials. He's going to run the numbers and tell us our options.

On the way out to the car car in the parking garage, WW asked me about custody. I told her I was interested in standard custody. She said, every other weekend and once or twice during the week? I said, Yeah, something like that. Then she said, and two weeks during the summer?

When she said that, she burst into tears.




How an when will you tell your children how easily you gave up on them?


In his defense, his WW is a SAHM. It's not like he's going to get 50/50 custody.


My mistake, I thought his WW runs around with OM making films. Every victim of infidelity should fight for their children. The options are to have children live with OM who is much more likely to abuse them than if they were with the parent who can make sane choices.

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