Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 7 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
Here's a new one I got from WH over the weekend:

"What if I'm meant to be with TWO people in my life? What if I'm meant to be with OW and she dies and I end up with you instead?" (OW might have breast cancer, going for tests this week) crybaby

Wow. Way to boost my self esteem... "I'm only with you because my soooouuulmate died..."

And, a new favourite of mine:

"Haha, I need to have polygamous marriages!" puke


Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
Originally Posted by lurioosi2
still, are you saying WH wants YOU to buy him a car????

Sorry, didn't mean to t/j, but OMG.

I would put up some of the dumb stuff I said, but I'm too horrified.

Of course, the translation of all these phrases are: I am a selfish idiot who cares more about what feels good between my legs than what IS right in front of my that I promised to protect.

WARNING....T/J


Yes, in his own roundabout way, he wants me to buy him a car...

I have a lease car that he said he was gonna take and stick me with the old car....you know what, I dont care what I drive, I only use it for DS and grocery shopping....but I am not gonna take a car that he ran to the ground and now it breaks down all the time. We only had it to get him back and forth to work, which is in our town. It wasnt meant to drive an hour back and forth to see his mistress. I at least want a car that runs...

So I told him to go ahead and trade cars....and I can just walk DS to school or call the neighbors or MIL if my car breaks down...if he wants to use the lease car for his affair fun and leave DS and I with the crappy car, then go ahead. I guess that got to him because he never took the lease car...




Last edited by stillhere8126; 05/10/10 01:17 PM.

BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 61
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 61
OW says you love me but you are no longer in love with me

I'm tired of logic (me, BW) and just want emotion (OW)

I love you like a sister.

I love you like a wife. I love OW like an oversized baby I just want to take care of.

It feels like OW loves me more.

You versus OW - it's the difference between being wanted and not wanted.


Me = BW
Dday = 12/1/09
forj #2371108 05/10/10 01:17 PM
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
Originally Posted by forj
I love OW like an oversized baby I just want to take care of.

rotflmao rotflmao omg that is a new one to me!!! Wow. How does he feel kissing this oversized baby?? *yuck* hahahahha!


Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
Originally Posted by NewPetals
Originally Posted by forj
I love OW like an oversized baby I just want to take care of.

rotflmao rotflmao omg that is a new one to me!!! Wow. How does he feel kissing this oversized baby?? *yuck* hahahahha!


puke


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
K
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
More going up. Wow, at all the spewing...


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
"I'm sick of you and OW H interfering in my life! Stop talking to him!"

Uh....who is interfering in his life? Him and OW more than anyone.....


Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 61
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 61
I loved OW before I had sex with her. I hate how the love was displayed.

I could do without the sex with OW. The emotional part is what is important.

OW adores me. She will do anything I ask her to do.

I wish there was a reset button. (but he won't actually reset his life by returning home to his family and leaving OW)



Me = BW
Dday = 12/1/09
forj #2371146 05/10/10 02:04 PM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
K
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
By the way, I added an email link, so if you have anyone you want to email a post to... lashes


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
Originally Posted by karmasrose
By the way, I added an email link, so if you have anyone you want to email a post to... lashes


Teeheehee... youre baaddd...flirt


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
About that oversized baby thing.......does he enjoy burping and diapering. Usually, its a really sad, unfortunate thing when someone of adult age has the developmental level of a baby. So, does that mean the sex might potentially be criminal due to their lack of cognition?

'Shiver me timbers!!!'

Oh, x and I had argument about the rightness of his choices, so, on his way to church the following sunday, he called and apologized, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to get mad." I have never understood why he would apologize to me for my being mad....maybe for his asinine choices and behavior but NOT for my being mad.

Oh, after he had multiple EAs - with people I knew or knew of - he said, 'I'm not sure I ever want to be in another relationship with any female other than my mother, my sister, and (name of or daughter)". I wasn't sure what that meant. counselor didn't know what that meant. my ic didn't know what that meant. we didn't know if he was gender-orientation confused or WHAT...so I went and got std tests done at that point.

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
K
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
I think it means he knew how much he screwed up and was reluctant to give himself ANOTHER chance to screw up? That's my guess anyway.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
WH told my DS about his leaving his family for OW..."Its not a happy thing to do, but its not wrong. Everyone is doing it these days." You know what Im gonna say to that! banghead

and

"Your mother and I got married young, its hard for people to stay together that long." Yeah, so anything that is hard is not worth doing? UGHHHH! Thanks for teaching my DS such good lessons. rant2

He also told DS that the Bible was just a bunch of stories that someone made up. And that "God does not punish people who do bad things, who told you that, your mother." MrRollieEyes...pray

DS said, no, I read the Bible...hahahah, that smart little cutie grin. This all just happened tonite...I guess WH is on the rampage, not only with me, but with DS. mad

Last edited by stillhere8126; 05/10/10 07:38 PM. Reason: smileys for effect

BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
keeping in mind PQ is bi-polar..

"I like her simple life style"
"if you ever tell her I'm still sleeping with you I will never forgive you"
"why cant we be friends"
"I havent been happy for years" (real original, that one)
"Her H is a w*nker" (my response "It took her 4 kids to figure that out?")
"Im just helping her with her computer problems"
"She is more than just a ****, she is my friend"
"I dont want to give up her friendship"
" I know you dont trust me" (no dah!)
"she is a good person"
" I only want $20,000 of our house sale money you can have the rest" (that lasted maybe 3 days before wanting much much more)
"If it wasnt for her, I would come back to you"
"She has dumped me. Just kidding"

Geeze, I could go on forever. The fact of the matter is that active waywards are CRAZY, and half of what they say is bull, and the other half is sh**. If their mouth is moving, they're lying.



Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday laugh
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 552
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 552
Originally Posted by lildoggie
"she is a good person"

Ohhh, I forgot that one!

From my WW: "He really is a good person, he told me I should try to work things out with you."

At least she listens to him about as well as she listens to me (not at all).

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 249
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 249
Originally Posted by lildoggie
"She has dumped me. Just kidding"


He said THAT TO YOU??? What a **** (fill in any 4 letter word) wink

Last edited by MargieLoll; 05/11/10 08:14 AM.

Me 31
Him 26
Married 11/30/04

DD11
DD8
DS3

In a big ol mess...
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
Originally Posted by schtoop
Originally Posted by lildoggie
"she is a good person"

Ohhh, I forgot that one!

From my WW: "He really is a good person, he told me I should try to work things out with you."

At least she listens to him about as well as she listens to me (not at all).

Along the same lines from my WH: "OW felt horrible when she found out you were pregnant."

Now, I have so many thoughts on this: a) YEAH she felt horrible, she was thinking she was the only one my husband was sleeping with, and b) if she felt so horrible, why did she sleep with him in the first place and KEEP ON sleeping with him? What a bullcrap way to manipulate my husband.

Last edited by NewPetals; 05/11/10 09:11 AM.

Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,738
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,738
Originally Posted by stillhere8126
He also told DS that the Bible was just a bunch of stories that someone made up.

Please note that one's religious belief is not correlated to one's devotion to his or her marriage. As proven over and over again on this board, religious devotion, great faith, and an otherwise perfectly Christian lifestyle don't stop affairs.

Extraordinary precautions and building an interdependent lifestyle following MarriageBuilders principles prevents affairs.

Although Dr. Harley is vocal about being Christian, and that he believes his program was inspired by his god, his works specifically avoid a Christian bias in order to serve those of us who don't adhere to his religion.

I was the one who left our shared church 8 years ago. My wife's words on D-Day stand out in my head still, and I am pretty certain they weren't just wayward fogbabble:

"I never thought I would be the one to ruin our perfectly good marriage."

Yep. In her mind, if our relationship ever had problems, it would be my fault.


Doormat_No_More
(Formerly Barnboy)
Original thread lost in the forum purge of '09.
4 months after D-Day
1 year after D-Day
Two Years Later
Four Years Later
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
The statement to my DS from WH angered me because he was always a religious man and we raised our DS Catholic....Now that WH is in the A suddenly he feels the need to tell WS that the Bible is a load of puckey....THat is basically what DS got out of it, this is what angered me.

I am not saying I was right or wrong, just mad....


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
K
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
Wow, I'm over 500 views with it now. Posting new ones now. Hopefully it'll help you all if you need a laugh...


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
Page 7 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 39 guests, and 52 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
MikaylaVaux, I.P., Alex82, Dezzeiemm, love spells
71,725 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,545
Posts2,322,787
Members71,726
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5