Woman meets begins dating a man from Utah in October of 2009 in Virginia. She divorces her husband -- or maybe the other way around -- in April 2010*. A week after the divorce is final, she flees to Utah with her four-year-old son to live with the Other Man. One week after that, she marries the new guy, locking her son in his bedroom by removing the door handle because she was afraid the marriage wouldn't go through if police became aware of the physical abuse of her son. Six days later, her son is found dead in the woods, face marred beyond recognition.

Turns out she knew her new "husband" (from her affairage) was abusing her son, and that her son's condition continued to deteriorate over several days from the beatings before he died. She did all this for love of her affair partner.

If your spouse is having an affair, your children are unsafe with that Other Person. The vast majority of child abuse cases are by step-parents or live-ins. A man willing to help a woman cuckold her husband is not constrained by ethics of appropriate relationships with that woman's children. And a woman having an affair is not in an appropriate frame of mind to protect herself, her children, or her marriage from the abuse of her boyfriend. Protect your children from the Other Person and from the neglect of your affair-fog-addled spouse.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=10746226

* I had to read between the lines to figure out she began her relationship with her new "husband" before divorcing the old one. Virginia divorce records are not public record until 50 years after the event.

That is sickening.
Melodylane gave me a link one time on the risks to children from the OP.
I can't remember where it is, that would be a good link to add to this thread.
Hint hint Mel!

Young females are at a horribly high risk for molestation by POSOM.

tough story to read - sure would like to have ten minutes with this guy.

Vittoria - ur correct molestation is huge risk for daughters. Sons are at risk because a POSOM nay look at them as competition and a reflection of their father.

cant begin to know how the father feels - beyond grief.

Not Mels one, but something I just found


Child abuse stats

Yeah, this scares the living daylights out of me....One of the reasons why I feel like dating is not appropriate right now because my DS is so young...and I would definitly not move in with my DS and some guy....If I end up dating before my DS is at least 16 (seriously, I dont even know if I will by then) my DS will probably never even know the guy and definitely NEVER be left alone with him.....

I saw a trading spouses episode or sumthin like that...and the new "DAD" treated the daughter like crap and it broke my heart. He was worse to her when the mother wasnt there but he wasnt great to her when the mother was around....the mother was so caught up in herself she didnt even notice.

All I was thinking was some poor father of this child had to see this and I woulda killed someone if I was him!

They both should get life.

As to the question other's have possed: Just compensation after an affair, is there?

No.

What happen's during the affair can never be undone, paid for, compensated for, in anyway.

While the OM in situations like this are disgusting, in my opinion, it's the MOTHER of the child who has committed a far greater sin. She has deliberately exposed her son to someone she KNOWS will kill him, and has stayed because of some disgusting loyalty to the creep. She needs a punishment beyond anything I can conjure at the moment.

The pain she needs to feel is the pain she's beyond feeling to allow this to happen.

Abuse Risk Seen Worse As Families Change



And here is a recent, local case of a little girl who was murdered by a man her mother's OM that she met on the internet. They found her little body in a bin in Galveston Bay:
Two arrested in �Baby Grace� ca...hed ashore in bin is couple�s daughter

How the "Baby Grace"' case ended

There's quite a bit on the internet about this. Not surprisingly, both the mother and the stepdad blamed the other for what happened. This world is just FULL of innocent people!

tl

Doormat,
What a tragedy that we will see time and time again with this D epidemic.

I am D and will not date. My DD16 has been through enough with all of this past craziness.

The last thing she needs is to compete for my attentions with another man.

I am the only stability she has right now while XWH is on fantasy island. She has made so much progress and is stable and grounded right now. Don't want to mess that up for her again.

After reading these stories I don't know if I will ever be ready.

Reading things like this make me want to go home and hug my kids.

Yeah. Totally want to remind my kids how much I love them; I haven't struck a single one of them in anger since my oldest daughter was 4 and my spank left a hand-shaped bruise. Decided that day that it wasn't worth it to allow myself to act out angrily toward my children, ever.

It's knowing about this kind of thing that made me sick to my stomach when I read the logged conversation of my FWW discussing running off with OM and taking the kids. I was like "over my dead body will they ever live with that creep".

Well, in defense of step-parents, when I married my H, I already had 3 young children. He is the only father they have ever known, and he has always treated them as his own. My DD even told me (after finally contacting her bio dad whom she hadn't seen in 15 years) that she wished she'd never contacted him because she already had a "dad" and her bio sperm donor would never be "dad" to her. All my kids call my h "dad" and think of him as their only father. We don't do "halfs" and "steps" in our family.

Of course, my marriage to my H wasn't an "affairage" and my H was never the OM, but blended families can work. These statistics don't tell the entire story, and I find them a bit offensive.

writer, my hat is off to you step parents who do an awesome job of taking care of your step children. My son's finance was RAISED by her step dad after her bio dad abandoned her at 18 mos for his affair. Her STEP DAD, who treated her like a princess and paid for her college is walking her down the aisle at her wedding while her own bio father sits in the audience.

There are some GREAT step parents out there and they should be acknowledged and not thrown in the same pot as these scumbags.

At least blended families have parents, like writer said.

I do not believe I will ever have children. I never had a good model parent (both mine were lazy louts) so I don't want to take the chance.

I'd be too scared of something like this happening.

But that means nothing if the step parent is abusive. The child is better off NOT having a step parent than having an abusive step parent.

I have had NUMEROUS step parents and the ones that DID NOT abuse me were the EXCEPTION, not the rule. I have been sexually molested, beat up, and verbally abused ["as far as I am concerned, you are just another blonde in your dad's life!"<----said to my by one of my step parents]. My sister and I had to sleep with a butter knife slid through our door jamb to keep our step father out of our room starting at ages 8 and 9.

It makes me glad my dad didn't start his parade of women til after I was legal...

I've just stopped caring about what he's doing. I think it ticks him off I don't "like" his new catches of the week that he brings home.

ML: It's my H who is the step-parent, though I don't think of him that way and neither do any of our kids. They were young when we married - 4, 3, and 1.5 - so they don't even remember a time when my H wasn't their "dad." He did a remarkable thing, marrying someone with 3 little kids. He was only 25 at the time. He sacrificed a lot for us. He still does.

I'm sorry your experience with step-parents wasn't a good one. I know plenty of people who were raised in similar circumstances. I never would have married someone who I didn't think could love my children as much as I did and treat them as his own. I think that's one of the things that attracted me to my H in the first place. He was always really good with them, even while we were dating.

I think my kids were lucky not to be raised by their bio dads. I had my oldest son just after high school, and the dad took off before I even had a chance to tell him I was pregnant. The next two were the product of a very bad long-term relationship that I finally had enough intelligence to end after he was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon, fired from his job, began living in the storage room of a casket store and then the back seat of his car, and started threatening suicide and talking about having himself committed to a mental institution.

Sometimes, being raised by both biological parents can be a very scary thing too.

I don't think the intent of Doormat's posting was to say all step parents were bad but with the added affairage many WS have their eyes totally closed to the OP faults which could very well include abuse.

WS are known to walk away from everything including their children. The ones that try and drag their children into this are not thinking of their own best interest and spend their time to continue the fantasy under any cost including not doing what is best for their kids.

My M to my XWH was a blended family. He raised DD30 from the age of 5 and she is the only father she has known but we did not get together because of A's and took the time for him to be introduced to my DD and develop a R with her. She called him Dad up until the A and now has reverted to calling him his first name.