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Hey NW8900, Just wanted to say thanks for your reply on my thread the other day. I had to delete it as WW or STBXWW is now lurking on this forum.

Still considering TN, but I have to figure out what to do about my house. Either deed in lieu of, sell(doubtful), bankruptcy or forclosure. My credit score is like 776 and I hate to see it destroyed but something has to give.


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Hey, it's only money! (a joke)

It's definitely a buyer's market, but hopefully you can get your house worked out and things resolved without too much drama

Good luck, buddy, take care of yourself.


Me (BH)
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Ok, my spyware for the cell phone has expired and the eblaster reporting has expired as well. I can still see eblaster reports from the monitored computer, they just don't email them.

All's clean and I'm wondering if it's time to let the cell phone spyware go. Or renew it for another six months?

Thoughts? It almost feels like letting go of a security blanket, but, at times, it's almost a trigger for me.



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Originally Posted by Northwood8900
Ok, my spyware for the cell phone has expired and the eblaster reporting has expired as well. I can still see eblaster reports from the monitored computer, they just don't email them.

All's clean and I'm wondering if it's time to let the cell phone spyware go. Or renew it for another six months?

Thoughts? It almost feels like letting go of a security blanket, but, at times, it's almost a trigger for me.

Question: has trust been regained to a point that you feel you can let it go without being in a state of panic or worry?

It can be a big leap of faith to do this and if you have any qualms, I'd renew it for 6 months.

CV


Celtic Voyager
Married 22+ years
3 young adult children


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Originally Posted by Northwood8900
Ok, my spyware for the cell phone has expired and the eblaster reporting has expired as well. I can still see eblaster reports from the monitored computer, they just don't email them.

All's clean and I'm wondering if it's time to let the cell phone spyware go. Or renew it for another six months?

Thoughts? It almost feels like letting go of a security blanket, but, at times, it's almost a trigger for me.

I monitor the online bill once or twice a month, and physically check her phone from time to time.

Not overly active, but enough for peace of mind, you know?


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Originally Posted by celticvoyager
Question: has trust been regained to a point that you feel you can let it go without being in a state of panic or worry?

It can be a big leap of faith to do this and if you have any qualms, I'd renew it for 6 months.

CV

I think I'll always worry to some extent, you know?

It seems like a long time ago that we were in the midst of it, but it's only been six months since it ended.

Renewal would probably make me feel better--almost like having that cushion there.

Maybe the fact that I'm asking the question gives me my answer?


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Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
I monitor the online bill once or twice a month, and physically check her phone from time to time.

Not overly active, but enough for peace of mind, you know?

I'd say I was looking at it once every three or four days.

Down, of course, from every three or four minutes earlier this year crazy

I'd like to think I would recognize a relapse by now, but I thought that then and you see how *that* way of thinking turned out.






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whats the harm in keeping it on. just dont look at it if you dont want. it like an insurance policy... you probably wont need it but just in case.....

hope you are well.


Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan

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It's kind of expensive. When I had a choice about letting certain things lapse or renewing them, I knew that I could *always* choose to renew at a moment's notice. I had to let some things go to keep from going nuts going over logs.

I'm much more productive in my work and home life, and better able to make Love Bank deposits, now that I'm less distracted by constantly monitoring my wife's activities. The important thing is that I still have *some* protections in place, and unless she became this amazingly-cautious person I'm certain I'd have some warning of her activities.

Basically, if I ever had reason to become suspicious again, I'm within a couple of days of having evidence. Not that I'm worried about it at this point... between 15 hours with the kids, 15 hours with me, not spending overnights apart, and spending almost all our recreational time together, it would be extremely difficult to start another affair.


Doormat_No_More
(Formerly Barnboy)
Original thread lost in the forum purge of '09.
4 months after D-Day
1 year after D-Day
Two Years Later
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Originally Posted by Doormat_No_More
Basically, if I ever had reason to become suspicious again, I'm within a couple of days of having evidence.

I think that's where I am with it. It would take, maybe, a few hours to have everything loaded back on.


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Well we just had DD #2 and, this time last year, I never thought I'd be here now. Wow, what a difference a year makes.

With the third child, we're about to bust at the seams in this house and are going to put it on the market and see what we can do. We'll probably get what we paid for it in 2005, which isn't that bad compared to some folks.

We're doing well and though I still have those "moments" they're getting further and further apart.

And on another note, I hope no one reading lives in the areas hit by the tornadoes today. They just gave a tornado warning northwest of here (Mississippi) but it doesn't look like it'll come into our area.

That'd be my luck...plan on selling the house and a stupid storm tears it up crazy



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NORTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations on your Baby Girl!! I hope all are well, and sending the very best to you and your family! hurray

Last edited by Surfer88; 03/02/12 11:44 PM. Reason: Still can't use font function.
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Details! Details! Size, weight, c'mon dude....

And CONGRATULATIONS!

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North!!! This is excellent news! So good to hear!! Congratulations!!

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D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Thanks guys, I appreciate it. She was smaller than our other two (6# 15-oz) but all are doing well and will be released tomorrow from the hospital. They get you in and get you out pretty quick.

Starting to wonder if we have a screw loose trying to put this house on the market with a newborn smile



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Congrats on your baby girl!


"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Love Love Love having babies!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS

Daughters are so wonderful and their close age will make them the best of friends ...

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Congratulations! HappyBirthday

Last edited by happyheart; 03/03/12 04:54 PM.

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Originally Posted by PrayIncessantly
Daughters are so wonderful and their close age will make them the best of friends ...

I'm hoping so! Our oldest (boy) is in the "EWWW! Girls are yucky!" stage...no doubt courtesy some little turd in his first grade class smile



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Originally Posted by PrayIncessantly
their close age will make them the best of friends ...
Hahahaha!!! That was a joke, wasn't it, pray? laugh

Congratulations, Northwood! That's the best news I've heard all week! May she bring much joy to you and your wife. hurray


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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