I posted this on dating after divorce, and didn't know where would be a good place for responses so I am posting it here as well, ty
Hi so here is my brother's brief story..
My brother married a woman who only wanted him for his money she knew he had a really good job that can provide for her to go to school and stay home with the kids, but she also didn't know that my brother was having a really hard time at this job (emotionally, he was a cop) so he had to quit. Well, that happened two days before their wedding and the ONLY reason why she wen't threw with the marriage was because her family was all ready in town and she didn't want to waste there time and money....sigh HORRIBLE MISTAKE!
Anyway after he left that job, she told my mother that she did not love my brother and yet wen't through the marriage anyway, well, needless to say the marriage was terrible she did not love him, respect him or our family, talked trash about him and us even though we tried to welcome her, she just pushed us away by giving us mean comments, example of this is...
Sitting at the dinning room table eating dinner my SIL (other brothers wife) asks her "how are you?" with a big welcoming smile, she doesn't turn or acknowledge that she is talking to her, finally she asks again, no response, so she gave it one last try and this was her response, "ugh!! Don't talk to me!!"
Well the worst of the worst happened, she became pregnant, had the baby, you need to understand my brother he is very loving and caring person and he loved her with all his heart and thought she loved him, we tried soo hard for him to understand what she is doing to him and using him till she finally got her degree. He even did her homework for her because he is such a smart guy!
Finally the divorce was in the process and was taking for ever because she changed the divorce papers AFTER he had signed them, again his life is soo damaged because of this woman even in our own family we are having a hard time because she is manipulating one of our sisters and using her to hate us.
He is still in the process to change the divorce papers, and get joint custody, he loves his son soo very much and it brings me to tears when I see him in so much pain.
Now that the divorce is final (and yet she is still ruining his life) he tries to find woman to date, he found a really sweet woman but she was in a different state for college and couldn't keep up with the relationship, my brother is only 24 years old!!
Well, recently I found out that he is befriending an old friend of the family, she is the same age as him and is in the process of yet another divorce, her first husband broke her chaw and her second one cheated and left her. I have been trying SOOO hard to get him on this site, but he keeps saying "I dont have time, I dont have time"
I told him that he SHOULD NOT be friends with someone who is in the middle of a divorce for the SECOND time! I told him that is RED FLAGS, he kept telling me that I don't know her situation, I said "I don't need to know her situation when she is only 24 years old and has had 2 divorces, LEAVE HER ALONE" then I asked him "please tell me you will not date her after her divorce is final" he did not respond and the other line was quit so I knew exactly what his plans where. I then told him what would happen if they were to start dating....
Your relationship with this woman will only be based on problems because that is how it started, you connected with her because you had problems she connected with you because SHE has her own problems, is that what you want? A relationship ONLY ON PROBLEMS??
This is like leading a blind man when your blind yourself, you can not help her and she can not help you, so why bother?
I told him he needs to find someone that is healthy, and finally I got to the root of his problem, (finding someone to be with that has the same problems).....he told me that he does not want to find someone that is healthy because he doesn't want them to endure the pain his EX will bring them, because even though they are divorced she is still manipulating him, lying to our sister to hate us, and making his life a living H*LL!
Right now I am trying to get him to think a different thought so he knows that HE DESERVES someone healthy, someone who will treat him right, love him, and respect him.
But my question is this, what can I do or say to have him finally get help off the MB web site? He needs help and the support, even on the phone I noticed how much pain he is in, he doesn't even have to say anything, just his energy that is around his body say's it all!
He keeps telling me he has no time, what if I send him an email with the MB link on it?
Or if he wont get on maybe I can get advise from you all great people and I can let him know?
Please HELP!!
