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SteveinJAX #2418804 08/19/10 05:21 PM
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p.s. if you are that worried, I would consult an attorney. I have never known of anyone here in 9 years, and hundreds of cases, who ever had a problem with this. Personally, I think the greater risk is not doing it so I wouldn't care if it is illegal. But that is a choice you have to make yourself.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2418805 08/19/10 05:22 PM
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Yes, but does that make a difference?


Me: BH (35)
WW (29)
DD (5)
DS (1)
D-Day: EA 8/7/10
SteveinJAX #2418806 08/19/10 05:25 PM
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Originally Posted by SteveinJAX
Yes, but does that make a difference?

I have no idea. I know it is not illegal to put spyware on your own computer, [parents do it all the time with the computers of their children] but if you are worried, I would contact an attorney. It looks like in the case you cite above the issue was over whether or not the spouse could introduce the data into court. It doesnt say she was prosecuted.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2418808 08/19/10 05:29 PM
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Yes, I agree, but I will not be able to use that information later for child custody purposes if it goes that far.

I think I am ok for now, I just really want to collect intel. Just have to be careful how I use it, though.


Me: BH (35)
WW (29)
DD (5)
DS (1)
D-Day: EA 8/7/10
SteveinJAX #2418812 08/19/10 05:45 PM
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What do you mean by trouble? It doesn't look like the wife got into legal trouble per se.

That case looks like it's involving whether the communications could be used as evidence in the divorce proceeding.


ETA: Pls disregard. I didn't see yours or ML's posts when I posted this.

Last edited by SusieQ; 08/19/10 05:46 PM. Reason: eta

Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
SusieQ #2418813 08/19/10 05:47 PM
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Yes, and that is a good piece of info to have. Won't help much for a child custody case though. I would have to find other hard evidence of the affair to present in court.


Me: BH (35)
WW (29)
DD (5)
DS (1)
D-Day: EA 8/7/10
SteveinJAX #2418815 08/19/10 05:52 PM
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Hopefully you can bust up the A and not have to worry about D. smile

Anyway, did you ever try intelius.com on OM's cell #? Or did I miss that too...


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
SteveinJAX #2418816 08/19/10 05:53 PM
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If you are happy to invest in a PI can you not invest in the phone tracker where you can record conversations with OM. I know when you first looked at this option it was expensive but as you are looking into ways to document the A and gather evidence the phone thing might be a worthy investment.


BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months

Divorced

Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.

If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.

NB28 #2418820 08/19/10 06:14 PM
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Brutallyhonest... I would have to get her another cell phone. No trackers for her Palm Treo 755p.

Susie - I ran the report through intellius and it gave me no information... the name on the phone account doesn't even match his.


Me: BH (35)
WW (29)
DD (5)
DS (1)
D-Day: EA 8/7/10
SteveinJAX #2418831 08/19/10 06:59 PM
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You don't know the full circumstances of that case. If she installed it on a computer he bought after they separated, then the court may see it as a violation. But you own your own computer and have a right to install whatever software you wish on your own computer.

BUT....

In the end, none of it matters. Really, it doesn't. You need the intel to get what you need to end the affair and you don't have to reveal your sources.

Family court is a tricky thing. Just keep quiet about it. Your computer in your home is joint marital property, so it is legal to intercept this stuff.

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HTLD - thanks for the insight. I'll keep on it.


What I really want right now is to find a way to start filling her LB to return the balance above the threshold so we can be in love again, but I know as long as OM is making deposits in his account, that it is a very uphill battle.



Me: BH (35)
WW (29)
DD (5)
DS (1)
D-Day: EA 8/7/10
SteveinJAX #2418920 08/20/10 05:03 AM
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What software?

Why I found this out because WH kept leaving windows open on his PC, as if he wanted to be caught. And I did.

After you make hardcopies of the evidence and or then store them on your own secure computer. Then delete the software.

TheRoad #2418928 08/20/10 05:57 AM
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Road - not really sure I understand what you are asking, but I am using eblaster on our PC that she uses all the time. I have a laptop that I use, and the e-mails and reports are sent to me on that laptop which is password protected so she can't even log onto it now, and they are also sent to my work e-mail as well. I am printing out hard copies at work and placing them in file folder for safe keeping in the event something happens to both my e-mail at work and or my home laptop.



Me: BH (35)
WW (29)
DD (5)
DS (1)
D-Day: EA 8/7/10
SteveinJAX #2418930 08/20/10 06:17 AM
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So the keylogger has been quiet between WW and OM for the last 24 hours. Longest time it has been this quiet since I installed in a week ago. Probably only temporary. Only action yesterday was an e-mail to her sister-in-law who is also one of her best friends from growing up. She writes:

I am doing great today. XXXXX is at work and won't be home until tomorrow. Is that horrible?

You know I think I try to read too much into everything, as probably most BS do.

Going to see the doctor here in a couple of hours and then my counseling appointment this evening. Female friends coming into town this evening to see my WW, and my brother is coming to see me... going golfing in the morning. My WW recommended it last weekend when he was here. They will all leave by Sunday morning, so I am planning on spending some quality time with the WW and kids on Sunday. Maybe go to the park to let the kids play, or to the beach. I really want to get some undivided attention in, but she doesn't want to receive it right now, so it's useless in trying to give it to her. Right now, I feel like I can only try to increase the amount of time I am doing things with them and get out of the house more with them. I have been improving on things like telling her how good she looks, how good her cooking is, and thanking her for doing things like washing the laundry, and cooking meals, etc. She tells me her top needs are Open and Honesty, Affection, Admiration, Recreational Companionship, and conversation. Of those 5 her top 3 are affection, open and honest, and recreational companionship. So I need to focus on those. I randomly leave little notes around the house before I leave for work letting her know I love her and hope you have a good day. I give her a kiss and tell her I love her first thing every morning and last thing every night. I need to work on being more open and discussing my feelings with her, but right now she won't listen.

I am 3/4 the way through SAA, and have learned a lot from that book as well. A lot of it I just feel that I can't put into action until the EA with OM is over.

Need to call the PI back again today to get everything set up. Should have some answers soon on the OM's marital status.



Me: BH (35)
WW (29)
DD (5)
DS (1)
D-Day: EA 8/7/10
SteveinJAX #2418948 08/20/10 07:03 AM
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Originally Posted by SteveinJAX
So the keylogger has been quiet between WW and OM for the last 24 hours. Longest time it has been this quiet since I installed in a week ago. Probably only temporary. Only action yesterday was an e-mail to her sister-in-law who is also one of her best friends from growing up. She writes:

I am doing great today. XXXXX is at work and won't be home until tomorrow. Is that horrible?

That explains why the keylogger is silent. She is probably talking to him on the phone. Do have access to the cell phone bill?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2418950 08/20/10 07:06 AM
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Or............could the OM be calling in your landline?

If so, check the caller ID history and hit redial to see what #s come up. If you think he might be calling on your landline, I would get a phone tap from Radio Shack and slip it on one of the back bedroom or garage phones.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2418954 08/20/10 07:20 AM
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Or............could the OM be calling in your landline?

If so, check the caller ID history and hit redial to see what #s come up. If you think he might be calling on your landline, I would get a phone tap from Radio Shack and slip it on one of the back bedroom or garage phones.

I have even thought about how someone could attach it to the line that goes out of the box in the basement. That way, it wouldn't be "accidentally" found.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Scotland #2418959 08/20/10 07:43 AM
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All, goood points. I have checked the cell phone call log today and it showed no inbound or outbound calls. Maybe he did call the house, so I will check the caller id when I get home. Hopefully she didn't think of deleting on all the phones, but if she did, our dish network keeps a log of it too, and I don't think she would have thought of that.


Me: BH (35)
WW (29)
DD (5)
DS (1)
D-Day: EA 8/7/10
SteveinJAX #2418962 08/20/10 07:48 AM
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That is good to know. My WH DID know to erase the call logs and even the redial. I only KNOW because I had a VAR and heard him call and then heard him delete the call logs.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Scotland #2418971 08/20/10 08:24 AM
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Steve,

Keep your chin up. Stay strong. You're doing all the right things. I'm surprised your WW hasn't heard from her siblings about your exposure.

Why haven't you called her mom yet?

You need to do that ASAP. Believe me, you want to do it before she gives them her spin on things.


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