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Joined: Aug 2010
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Originally Posted by SugarCane
Originally Posted by EsoxIreland
Having read the messages (before they knew I knew) they were concerned about this risk but that seemed to add to the excitement. The words "forbidden fruit" and "Eve in the garden" were written.
I'm beginning to think you're here because you enjoy the intellectual debate, not because you are in a desperate fight for your marriage. You're actually joking about this, with the "bridge" comment. I can assure you that nobody is joking with you about how spineless you are being, and what the consequences will be.

I went to OWH because, while I was more than happy to ditch to my own immoral, gutless adulterer of a husband, I would not let an outsider (OW) push me into that decision because she would not stop contacting my H. I would not let actions her force to me remove my children's father from their home. I would give my life for my children, and in your position I would certainly risk a beating (from whomever to whomever) to give them the chance of keeping their family intact and their mother at home.

You might be enjoying bantering here on your thread but your cowardliness concerning your children shocks me.

Be under no illusion about how seriously I'm taking this. This broke me, shattered me, and now I'm trying to make sense and sort it out. I am also trying to protect my family in the best way I can figure out.
If I come across intellectual, I'm not apologising, it's my job to be an intellectual.
I'm here like we all are or were. To get help and to help, to talk and to share. A cowards way out would have been to leave but I'm still here, and listening.


Me BH 45
Her WW 45
Married 9, together 17
D Day 1 8 August 2010
D Day 2 17 August 2010
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And if I'm writing vain attempts at humour, it is only a vain attempt at sanity. Like most BSs here, I've been to hell and back. Add in this [censored] situation with families at war (that I haven't seen much of on the forums before) and perhaps I can be forgiven for bad jokes and poor justifications.


Me BH 45
Her WW 45
Married 9, together 17
D Day 1 8 August 2010
D Day 2 17 August 2010
Joined: Sep 2008
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Originally Posted by EsoxIreland
If I come across intellectual, I'm not apologising, it's my job to be an intellectual.
I'm here like we all are or were. To get help and to help, to talk and to share. A cowards way out would have been to leave but I'm still here, and listening.
I didn't say that you "come across intellectual", so don't brag about being an intellectual. I said that I think you are here because you enjoy the intellectual debate; quite a different assertion.


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Originally Posted by EsoxIreland
[ A cowards way out would have been to leave but I'm still here, and listening.

It takes no courage to post on an anonymous internet forum. It takes no courage to enable an affair by helping the affairees hide their dirty deed.

If you are not going to take our advice, then why are you here? You have read other threads so you know what the advice will be. There are so many people here who need help and are sincere about saving their marriages so this only serves as a distraction.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
It takes no courage to enable an affair by helping the affairees hide their dirty deed.

Now that makes sense.


Me BH 45
Her WW 45
Married 9, together 17
D Day 1 8 August 2010
D Day 2 17 August 2010
Joined: Oct 2009
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Originally Posted by EsoxIreland
MelodyLane, you're right. The door is left open either for the OP or a new OP but it's hard to bring the risk of violence onto my own family.

Sugarcane, it's a possibility but I trust my sources on this one (especially as one source was from their "secret messages" and another from a friend who doesn't know about the A)

You're missing an important point, here - you haven't brought anything onto your family. Your WW has. It's too late to worry about that now. She's already done it.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted by EsoxIreland
Originally Posted by jmwc95
Quit being such a drama queen. Your WW's affair won't end until you expose to OMW. If ANYONE needs to be afraid of ANY physical repercussions, it's OM, not your WW. Just expose already. You are not going to risk Bloody Sunday by exposing. YOU are in YOUR OWN FOG. You have bought into what WW and OM are telling you. You or your WW are NOT going to be phsyically harmed, so quit being so soft on this.

A well aimed and potentially accurate 2x4. Small correction though, they didn't tell me about the potential trouble, I found out most of that through my snooping.
As for Fog, probably. Possibly made a bit thicker by no evidence of contact between them and also improved relationship at home.

Have you ever watched the movie "Zombieland"? Do you know what the #2 rule of Zombieland was? Double tap. I don't care if you think you killed the affair without exposure. You need to pop a bullet in the head of this affair just to make certain it doesn't come chasing after you again. Exposure is that bullet. Use it. Finish it off for good.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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