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Hi all,
Not sure if you had a chance to read and or see the movie Eat, Pray, Love
However...why do you think she did not want to be married any more?
The book and move do not put it that way and show her meeting the young hansome actor after she already separated from her H, however, I suspect Gilbert (the author) does not tell us the truth...which is..she left her H for OM!
I find that movie very offensive and a true encouragement to leave your M and pursue your dream.
And you know what..she ends up with a man much older (15 years older) and who knows what the real story behind that man is (did he leave his wife for her???)
So many of those movies now days do not make a big deal about M ending and A...I find this disgusting.
It would be interesting to learn your opinion.
Blessing


atena
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Agreed. I had zero desire to read the book or see the movie once I found out the whole thing centered on her leaving her M - especially to "pursue her happiness," or whatever drivel they called it.

Don't know about the A, but it's certainly more than plausible.

Last edited by Mrs_Vanilla; 09/09/10 07:15 AM. Reason: added thought

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According to the book, if I remember right I believe she met the first man after being divorced, and the second one was widowed before he met her. Maybe she lied when writing the book, who knows? But according to what she wrote, it seems like she wanted a divorce because she was in a major depression. It also seems like she and her H failed to build a compatible lifestyle and had a history of fighting and not meeting each other's needs.

The book is not exactly a shining example of how to have a good marriage, but then, can anyone actually think of an entertaining book that is?

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atena Offline OP
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Yes, and the whole deal is glamorized by being played by Julia R. and by coming to Italy and eating like a pig and being immerse in the Italian culture. Fortunately in each country she visits, the people frown upon her being divorced...and of course those people are seen as backwards.
In this day and age between literature, movies, FB and other social networking we are totally encouraged to find out hapiness at the expense of others. And if that means leaving the M...well, so be it, if that is all it takes to be happy.
blessing


atena
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I read the book and saw the movie: she was in the process of getting divorced while she was seeing/living with OM. Her H would not give her a divorce right away. Yes she was depressed, but aren't so many other WS so?
If her M did not meet her EN, I think it would have been very interesting to make book on how she had an A, realized OM was not good for her and then...R the M. I would find that very interesting and inspiring.
Also, the man she ends up with in Bali...the book says that he is divorced or separated and that his wife lives in australia with their kids...
blessing


atena
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"...find out hapiness at the expense of others. And if that means leaving the M...well, so be it, if that is all it takes to be happy."

Funny (disgusting) I totally bought that line of thinking until a couple of years ago. {{{{{{shiver}}}}}}



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I think that if my FWH didn't want to be M to me any longer because he thought that I was uncapable of meeting his needs I would respect him more if he would come out and tell me rather than going out and finding some OW, sleeping with her and exposing me to her nastiness. He has the freedom of choice. I think the meeting of emotional needs is very hard when you are dealing with a p/a spouse like mine. He would rather enter the gas chamber than talk about his feelings. Even two years after D-Day he still maintains that the XOW didn't meet any of his unmet needs and he says that I have never failed in meeting his needs. It's very frustating to know that you are doing everything to be a wonderful W and have a DH who still cheats.

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My WW on 'date night' directed us to this show. She had already read the book. I sat there in the theatre, trying to hold it together through the whole movie. She sensed what I was going through, and in one of the few times she has ever shown compassion for her actions, she said something like, "Sorry, this wasn't a good movie choice."

No kidding.


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the point is that the women in the story ends up in the sack with OM right away after she breaks the M. This makes you think the A is what made her want to break the M...
Yes, it is honest to leave the M if ENs are not met, but in no way did the author indicate that they tried to work issues out before she decided to D. SHe just did not give the M a chance.
blessing


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Ugh. That's all I have to say about this movie. This is a hugely negative trigger for me, because the OM recommended this book to me when we were in the A as a shining example of how one had to be true to oneself and follow his/her passions regardless of the feelings of others. I, of course, read it and loved it at the time.

Now, the whole thing makes me kind of sick. I don't think I've ever read a more self-absorbed, egotistical book in my life. I'm not touching this movie with a 10-foot pole.

Just my 2 cents.


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I read the book and saw the movie. I am interested in knowing what is out there so when people prize the movie or book I know what I am talking about....but yes, it is just what the main stream media portrays...be happy at all cost...as if an A or leaving your M can be the ultimate solution to this....I want to see how long Gilbert lasts with this new older man...she is wayward to the core
blessing


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Originally Posted by writer1
Ugh. That's all I have to say about this movie. This is a hugely negative trigger for me, because the OM recommended this book to me when we were in the A as a shining example of how one had to be true to oneself and follow his/her passions regardless of the feelings of others. I, of course, read it and loved it at the time.

Now, the whole thing makes me kind of sick. I don't think I've ever read a more self-absorbed, egotistical book in my life. I'm not touching this movie with a 10-foot pole.

Just my 2 cents.

When Mr Pep was in his EA/PA, he bought me a copy of Bridges of Madison County (the book) for our anniversary.
The OW recommended he buy it for me.
Needless to say .... the book got torn to shreds after D day.


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Originally Posted by Pep
When Mr Pep was in his EA/PA, he bought me a copy of Bridges of Madison County (the book) for our anniversary.
The OW recommended he buy it for me.
faint


If anyone wants a good laugh, shift gears and read $h*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern. It's a short book, and I laughed so hard I cried. Made me jealous of having a dad.

Last edited by silentlucidity; 09/09/10 12:05 PM.

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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Originally Posted by writer1
Ugh. That's all I have to say about this movie. This is a hugely negative trigger for me, because the OM recommended this book to me when we were in the A as a shining example of how one had to be true to oneself and follow his/her passions regardless of the feelings of others. I, of course, read it and loved it at the time.

Now, the whole thing makes me kind of sick. I don't think I've ever read a more self-absorbed, egotistical book in my life. I'm not touching this movie with a 10-foot pole.

Just my 2 cents.

When Mr Pep was in his EA/PA, he bought me a copy of Bridges of Madison County (the book) for our anniversary.
The OW recommended he buy it for me.
Needless to say .... the book got torn to shreds after D day.


Ugh Pep. I hate to admit that (long before my A) I used to think that movie was romantic. That was before I took a look at what it was actually about. I don't watch it anymore. That's one of the most sickeningly wayward movies ever made.

Eat, Pray, Love bit the dust around here a long time ago too.


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Originally Posted by writer1
..this book ... as a shining example of how one had to be true to oneself and follow his/her passions regardless of the feelings of others.


I have neither read the book or seen the movie - after learning what it is about, I have no interest in it. But reading through the responses it hit me how often we get the advice to "follow our hearts" - it sounds good until you realize that following your heart can take us into all sorts of trouble and trample on anybody who stands in our way. And way too many of us learn that the hard way.

It is much better to "lead our hearts" (thank you, Emerson Eggerich!) than to follow them.


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The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Jeremiah 17:9.

I'm reading this book now, out of a vulgar curiosity since I actually know a gal who read it and subsequently blew up her entire life, two kids included. She's been island hopping and doing all the things she's always wanted to do, although she can scarcely afford it. Stripping, taking on a lesbian lover...ka-POW, I had to see what the heck was in this book that so 'changed her life'.

I can see how it can be quite destructive in the hands of one who is pre-disposed to self-indulgence like the author. It's full if ick.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
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This is destructive stuff in the hands of an entitled person. But you know what? lots of people are.
Very few would give up their illusion for happiness.
blessing


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Gluttony, Prey, Lust = Wayward bible.

My DD17 wanted to see that movie and I did not know too much about it. She then buys the book to read it before she sees it. I kept asking her if she had finished it and she said no...

a week later....no

another week later...no

She brings it to me and said read it if you want and stops talking about going to see the film.

I then read about the "plot" the next night on a movie review page.

Well the book is "somewhere", DD must have started it and saw where it was going and BOOM went into "Plan B" of the book.

Most films have so much stuff about A it makes it hard sitting through a show. I was the only one crybaby during "Couples Retreat" because of the cheating spouses.

I also thought "Bridges of Madison County" romantic and unrequited love. Even thought it was sad that "forced" herself to stay with her husband out of "honor". Excuse me while I go and puke

There is one film I do recommend "The Women". Yes it is about A but it is one for the BS to see. I was cheering.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
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alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
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My fav movie re A - "She Devil". Hysterical! A BW had to of written it.

Last edited by princessmeggy; 09/09/10 02:05 PM.

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This discussion has made me think of a scripture:

Originally Posted by Matthew 16:25
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

So much of our culture is focused on 'finding' ourselves. We believe we must find some external locus of happiness to create an internal self worth. We have to embark on some external, mystical journey of self discovery and devote ourself to the altar of self-worship to find our meaning. Along the way, if those we love and love us are sacrificed it is ok - if they truly loved us they would understand how much we need this.

It is selfish, egotistical, self-centered, entitle tripe that only leads to the destruction of families, and pain to those they claim to love. In the search for self these people sacrifice their integrity, their morality and their decency. Love is no longer measured by what they give and how they are moved to serve, but rather in what they take and what they demand from the world around them.

Any happiness that results only emerges when they - like Narcissus - gaze into their reflection mirrored in the world around them and see themselves. The cries of Echo - their spouses and children, those who actually DO love them remain unheard.

In attempting to 'save' their life and 'find' themselves they have lost any semblance of a decent human being who may have existed within their body.

A Mommy board I frequent often repeats this same idea. Telling mother's they need to 'take care of themselves' and 'create their own happiness' often at the expense of their own children.

These mothers will lose the precious lives and relationships they have been given with their children to 'find' their happiness.

The self - the true self - is MADE is PURIFIED is FOUND in the living of the life we have been given. It is found in each day we wake and serve our children and our spouse. It is found as we work and struggle through life's trials. It is found as we pass through the refiner's fire and emerge, our integrity intact - the rough edges smoothed away to leave the shining whole that was always there.

Strength and happiness are not found in running away - but in enduring and finding joy in the small treasures we are given daily: the sun on my face, my daughter's laugh, my husband's warm embrace.

In MB parlance - we find joy as we Give to those around us as long as we ensure that our Taker is provided a voice, tempered by an honest desire to love and care for those we are blessed to have in our lives.



Me & DH: 28
Married 8/20/05
1DD, 9 mo.
Just Lookin' and Learnin'
HIYA!
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