Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#2426464 09/13/10 09:56 AM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,416
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,416
So, Tuesday night I went to my first 12 step meeting. Several people had lovingly suggested it; my bmom even sent me a little book. But I was worried that I wouldn't "fit in" because I am not an addict. More of the "what will others think/will I be 'rejected' out of hand" routine.

The people are very nice. And though the big meeting part was everyone, the rest of the night was segregated - men in one place, women in another. My plan was to be stoic and friendly and not say much, which I pretty much held to with the exception of some tears rolling during the testimony and choking up a little introducing myself. I feel like I should hang back. I tend to talk way too much and suck the energy out of the room sometimes.

I think I am going back tomorrow. Meds are great. But taking some pills every day isn't cutting it. And going to the therapist and just talking and talking....what is the point? Obviously I am not what I should be, or could be at this point. I am desperate to try anything. Not just for M, but for ME. I can't explain, but enough is enough. This cycle is exhausting.

I have been reading the little pamphlet. #1 was what took me to the meeting to begin with. My faith is shaky. I have no doubt God CAN restore me to sanity....I am just not completely convinced He WILL. After that I can tell it will be pretty tough. I kind of dread it, but I have to get out of this fog - not the wayward fog...the luri fog.

So if you are the praying sort, please pray. I don't have any pride left.

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
Don't out-think God, Luri.

He works.

Period.

If you focus on "can" and "will", you won't change your mindset to "do" and "do not."

Keeping going back. You were loved before you walked in the door.

Learn to leave the "should be" and "could be" outside.

And take back a piece of pride and congratulate yourself on going.

Then keep going.

You're not alone.

LA

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 17
L
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
L
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 17
That's awesome LU!! You mad a step in your recovery that a lot of people don't make. You are moving forward instead of being complacent! I don't really know your story but whatever it is, making a step like that is huge! Be proud of yourself that you did something else to take care of you. That's progress!

Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Prayers up for you, Luri.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,888
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,888
Great news, Lurioosi! I have been a 12-Stepper for a little over 19 years now. I had exactly the same "misgiving" and doubt when I first started. The good people there told me I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

They told me to "keep coming back." They told me not to worry about God or a Higher Power, that I "would be contacted."

It happened. I can't explain how or when. But it happened. And it's happened to every person I know who's been coming for any length of time.

So I pass on to you the same advice I was given: Keep coming back. It works. It really does.


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,562
Likes: 1
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,562
Likes: 1
Wow, L, good for you! I love my 12 step program. I encourage you to find a sponsor, too.

But I'm concerned, hon. They don't have medical background, it's all your peers. They'd be the first ones to tell you that they support you in your spiritual walk, but are not qualified to help you with medical problems.

Do you also have a professional who is really working with you actively to manage this? Someone to really help you get a solid plan in place to help you recognize a slip or relapse or whatever the name is before it has bad consequences for you and your family. I have asthma, and went to my family doctor for years, but when my daughter got it, we lived close to the Mayo, so I took her there, and learning how to take care of her, I learned some things and got symptom free for the first time in years. Just one example, I learned that my inhaler should be used with a spacer. This after over 10 years of taking inhalers and not getting the relief that I would get with the same dose in a nebulizer machine. And all along, all I needed was a $10 plastic device, you know?

If you are getting professional medical care, too, please disregard, i just want to hear you're safe, hon, because I care. That was scary this summer.


Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 59 guests, and 59 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Kingpin, MikaylaVaux, I.P., Alex82, Dezzeiemm
71,726 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,545
Posts2,322,787
Members71,727
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5