Recovery is sooooo hard! This last week we have not being doing much to help our marriage. We've been fighting a lot and I have had a major attitude(which doesn't help!). There is a lot going on in our life. We have four children under 7. My parents are both in nursing homes and I feel very overwhelmed with all of the stress!..
Let me give you some background. I found out that my husband has been having an affair June 10 this year with a friend of mine. This affair lasted a year. This friend also works at the end of my block. Since d day , we have been working on our marriage and doing fairly well. Lately its kind of went downhill. I have been blowing up on him a lot and he has been snapping back at me which makes it hurt much more. Also seeing the ow and her friends around town or in my neighborhood is driving me absolutely crazy!!!!! I know that I've talked about this before and the advice was to move, which would be great but we do not have the resources to move and with my parents, I don't know if that would be wise. I just feel soo hopeless and exhausted. I love this man but when I think about what he did with this woman, I feel like I hate him!! I'm so hurt. One day we are having a great day and the next day I'm devastated. I know that angry outburst are a lb but lately I've been so mad. When will this balance out? I feel like giving up!

What you're feeling is pretty normal right now. However, it sounds like neither you nor your WH are taking extraordinary precautions to heal your M. Yes, you should move. Every reminder of the OW will affect your healing. I understand the logistic issues surrounding having to move. But you really need to, and the quicker the better.

Can you find a place that is out of your immediate 'OW Zone' and still be close to your parents?

Marital Bliss, I would hate to have to move but its looking like the obvious answer! You know what scares me too? It seems like we move every 2 years, so we finally find somewhere where we feel stable. Do you think that would be hard on the kids? Also what if we move and violates that area again? I probably shouldn't be thinking that way, but it crosses my mind. I guess the idea of moving to me seems not fair although its probably the logical thing to do.

You could probably find a home in the kid's school district, which would not interrupt their schooling at all. They might have less contact with neighborhood playmates, but they could see these kids at school still, and the friends could visit them at your new home.

I know the idea of moving seems drastic, but considering the anguish you are having, I don't think it is unreasonable. Just consider the OW as toxic waste. If it was discovered that your neighborhood was contaminated with toxic waste, you'd want to move in a heartbeat, wouldn't you?

I think it will be much harder on the kids if you DON'T. Look at how the presence of the OW is triggering you both? It will keep the affair top of mind forever and may even lead to a resumption. I would do almost anything to get this toxic poison away from your family. Why even risk it?

You are dealing with the fallout of an illogical act of adultery. Proceed accordingly.

Okay, so you've moved every two years. I would think that moving again wouldn't be as disruptive to the kids as it would be to move from the only home they've ever known. And I would think it would be much preferred, instead of living like you are now. Don't you think your kids pick up on that stress you're feeling?

When you say "What if we move and he violates that area again?" I hear you saying "Why bother moving?" We've already given you the answer to that.