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Joined: Sep 2010
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ksiril Offline OP
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Hello, I've been away for a few days because my doctor admitted me to the hospital for some tests. So no, I have not gone through with exposure or anything else. My husband has been going back and forth. When I was in the hospital today, he was actually texting me that he wanted to stay and make it work and he picks fights with me so he can stay away because that's easier than facing what he did. Well, tonight he went out with a friend and didn't tell me anything; I heard from a friend of mine. When he got home about an hour ago, I calmly told him I would have liked for him to let me know where he was. Then he blew up, said he wouldn't answer to me, called me all kinds of names, packed his things, and left. Right now, he is texting me that he is officially done.

I am overwhelmed. I appreciate everyone's kind words. But I feel like I am about to lose it completely. I have no idea what to tell my kids when they wake up, and with the new news about my health, I don't even know how I'm going to be able to take care of myself or my kids, much less fight with him, expose people, or go through a nasty divorce. I feel like there is no way that I will make it through this.

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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Not only will you make it through this, you'll be better off without this abuser. Trust me. Get yourself a GOOD, BULLDOG ATTORNEY, and your POSWH will be funneling most of all his income to you. If I were you, I would talk to your lawyer about getting a restraining order against your WH, divorcing him, and suing him and OW for infecting you. I would also investigate if criminal charges can be filed. It's time you take the gloves off with your WH instead of just letting him continue to bully you around.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
Joined: Apr 2001
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Originally Posted by ksiril
I am overwhelmed. I appreciate everyone's kind words. But I feel like I am about to lose it completely. I have no idea what to tell my kids when they wake up, and with the new news about my health, I don't even know how I'm going to be able to take care of myself or my kids, much less fight with him, expose people, or go through a nasty divorce. I feel like there is no way that I will make it through this.

Your H is dangerous, ksiril. Change your locks and send him a plan B letter. Get yourself an attorney first thing on Monday.

And over this weekend, expose his affairs/HIV everywhere so he is not a danger to others.

Do you have someone there who can support you? What about your mother? Can she come and stay with you and help you out?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 270
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You are doing a huge disservice to other women and potentially children if you don't totally expose your HIV cheating husband.

Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,254
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As a mom and health professional I am so saddened for you and your precious children and maddened beyond belief.

To other MB'ers, stop beating this woman up any more than she already has been! She needs advice and some love right now. We can give her toughness AND support!

Ksiril, Immediately get YOURSELF and other kids tested as you cannot believe the words of the WS and it could have gone on much longer.

Please also know that NOTHING your WH has done will negatively affect you or your precious kids. This is his baby to rock. His and OW.

Nuclear exposure. Totally. This might be one situation where he might have to just deal with it. I could care less what he does for a living. My ex was rather well known and ceo of a company and I did nuclear exposure. It doesn't matter and it doesn't reflect on us. It is ON THEM.

Right now you need to follow the carrot and stick of plan A and B. That is what I tell everybody to do and what I did. Many marriages survive here, many don't. But becoming as loving tough a wife and mom as you can will carry you through no matter whatever your outcome is.

There are laws on the books now about spreading hiv to others if you have knowledge of your disease and do nothing to prevent the deliberate transmission of it. Your H has harmed your baby to no end, and it is so frightening to read your words.

OW's husband needs to know, not only because of the ema, but because his life is on the line ok? And maybe any young kids she has.

If this is what your WH wants to do, let him do it! But STILL DO THE NUCLEAR EXPOSURE. It is for the safety of others. And for him to know you mean business.

What is the man going to do? Just hide his head in the sand and move away? Forget he has children even more than he already did?

Please seek the love of family and friends right now too. I'm so sorry you're going thru this. But you need to surround yourself with positive family and friends. MB friends also helped me tremendously when we went through what I call now my "trial by fire".

Do retain an attorney and ask about getting a separation agreement immediately and also inquire about having a lawsuit filed against the ow due to her knowing she had Hiv and transmitting it to others. She has endangered many lives. And that is truly reckless behavior and criminal behavior too. Your H is behaving as a spoiled child, and he needs to realize no matter what he decides to do, he has a family that he must financially provide for, and a beautiful child who will have special medical needs all their life because of his horrible affair.


Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,254
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Let's support her here! She needs SUPPORT and knowledge about what to do now!

She just found out. Didn't any of you remember how that felt? I sure did and was totally confused.

Sure the situation is severe, but I think that means she needs 100 percent more support right now so she remains safe, her kis are safe, and she finds a plan to stick to in order to get her thru this situation.


Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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