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That was my husband and I on the radio show today. Great advice as always from the Harleys. The timelines were off (affair ended in July and NC established in August) but the gist is correct. I do feel I am checking on him less frequently as my trust and LB units are building!
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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That was my husband and I on the radio show today. Great advice as always from the Harleys. The timelines were off (affair ended in July and NC established in August) but the gist is correct. I do feel I am checking on him less frequently as my trust and LB units are building! I wondered who that was! You sounded great! But I liked that Dr Harley mentioned that there is nothing wrong with your continued snooping. The more you check, the more trust you build. I am 10 years out and I STILL check from time to time. That is your insurance for a great marriage.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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TexasSun's radio call with Dr Harley: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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TS, he doesn't KNOW you snoop, does he? Do you keep your methods secret from him?
You had mentioned he is not happy about snooping. A better way is to keep it secret. Do you have methods he doesn't know about? One thing you might do instead of looking at his phone bill is install spyware on his phone that sends you daily reports.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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TS, have your H's parents apologized for their despicable behavior to you yet? If not, your H needs to have a come to Jesus with them. If there is to be any hope of repairing that relationship, it needs to start with a sincere apology from them.
And they owe your H an apology too, for being so uncaring and unsupportive of HIM. A caring, loving parent does not enable their child when he is being bad. If my own son behaved in such a trashy manner, he sure wouldn't be sleeping on my couch because he wouldn't dare darken my doorstep!!
The problem with enablers is that the person being enabled tends to WAKE UP sometimes and they realize the enabler was not their friend, but their enemy.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have a keylogger on the computer that he is not aware of. The phone log is updated every 15 minute online. I have struggled with looking at the past usage during the affair (when he became transparent and we combined our accounts again I got acess to all past logs...that was really hurtful and I keep checking back on things! Not a good idea!) So yes, I told him to close our old usage. Current stuff is fair game though.
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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I have a keylogger on the computer that he is not aware of. Good girl!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You don't sound like a Texan. You sound MIDWESTERN!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Melody, his father is twice divorced and in a 15-year relationship, he is unfaithful to his GF. His sister is divorced and remarried soon after (possibly an affairage) I doubt I will ever get any apology. His dad even found him a divorce attorney and accompanied and paid for the consultation. He let him use his credit card to buy a gift for OW. Just recently, the OW contacted my father in law. My husband fortunately said he is never welcome in our lives again if it continues. We hired a attorney and they wrote OW a cease and desist letter that specifically mentioned 3rd party contact. I am thrilled my husband is going the extra mile! This is the same man who DESPISED Marriage Builders after exposure lol
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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Lol...had to change from Rain Rain Go Away (Oregon!) To throw off OW. She hates MB cause of exposure and I was afraid she would look here
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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My husband fortunately said he is never welcome in our lives again if it continues Bravo to him!!! Shame on his father....
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Lol...had to change from Rain Rain Go Away (Oregon!) To throw off OW. She hates MB cause of exposure and I was afraid she would look here Ya can't trick the Texans!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I feel a little obsessed with revenge right now! Idk, I know its wrong...but I want her to feel some pain and embarrassement ...something! Just recently OW house went into foreclosure (she never mentioned this tidbit to my husband) Our business is buying and selling foreclosed homes lol. I was thrilled to hear she is suffering financially, but not paying the mortgage gave her $ to blow on my husband! When does the karma bus really hit?
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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So have been going over out budget and there is no where to squeek out the $995 for the MB program before Xmas. (we are moving as soon as our franchise will allow, so all money is going into that...top priority is getting away from constant triggers!) I do have the books, and romantic love workbook and the Basic concepts video. Can we cobble together a recovery program from this? The goal is to buy online seminar and accountability program but in the meantime?
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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Also, my husband feels it important to stay in couples counseling, which I think is not productive but maybe we will make strides once MB is implemented too!? We r also both in individual counseling and our daughter is starting again (anxiety poor thing!) So u can see where all our extra $ is going! I truly feel MB will be enough, ditch the counselors (except for kiddo)
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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If you are BOTH motivated to do whatever it takes, then this course works fine:
Surviving An Affair
Love Busters
His Need, Her Needs
Five Steps To Romantic Love
If either of you is reluctant about doing whatever it takes, you may need more assistance.
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We r totally both on board but how do we build a program? The primary reason we need the online seminar is my husband doesn't like to read. We do have HNHN on itunes tho. SAA isn't available yet on itunes. I guess I don't know where to begin on our own.
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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TexasSun, you can buy the home study courses in smaller blocks. For example, you can buy the Lovebusters course which includes the CDS, books, and workbooks for $195. Maybe you could start small depending on your greatest needs and just buy the smaller programs as you can afford it? And I *THINK* you can later sign up for the online course and they deduct the cost of the home study courses because you already have the materials. The Lovebusters course or the HNHN courses are here: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6031_loveaud.html
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Also, my husband feels it important to stay in couples counseling, which I think is not productive
The primary reason we need the online seminar is my husband doesn't like to read.
Uhhhhh, isn't this the point where the OTHER Texan typically kicks in the door with her shotgun and explains that the opinion of the WS in matters pertaining to the optimum recovery program has about ZERO weight when in conflict with that of the BS?
Seriously - "doesn't like to read" ??? Did WE just read THAT?
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psssst, hey MrYankee, she is a FAKE!! A fake Texan!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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