Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,463
K
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,463
I got a phone call this morning...I didn't recognize the number, it's my XH's OW. Seems her life has been hell w/him (imagine that!) and she's gained 80 lbs and has a terminal liver disease and he's gone missing on her and his job (sounds familiar from 2 1/2 years ago). She wanted what I had...well she has it now.

I don't feel any satisfaction knowing any of this...but neither do I feel a great deal of empathy for her, they've created their situation...I just don't feel a whole lot one way or another. I told her he is hers to deal with now...I told her that when I first discovered he was with her...she was the second one (that I knew of) that he cheated on me with...I forgave the first time, the second time I was done. So now she has my life and I don't want that life back.

Interestingly enough she said she's always been jealous of me because he loves me and talks about me all of the time. Ha! I told her he doesn't know what love is so quit worrying about it.

Sometimes, isn't it nice to just go home (alone) and enjoy the peace and quiet and freedom from drama and have your life the way you want it? There's no part of any of this that I miss. uhuh


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 383
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 383
Originally Posted by kaycstamper
Sometimes, isn't it nice to just go home (alone) and enjoy the peace and quiet and freedom from drama and have your life the way you want it? There's no part of any of this that I miss. uhuh

YES!!! I know exactly what you mean!

I too agree that what goes around comes around. And I'm glad that OW calling you didn't set you back in your recovery or healing.

I relate to this because my ex-WH basically flipped out and became suicidal nearly one year to the day after he walked out. He checked himself into the psych ward, hates his job and is lonely. I didn't get much satisfaction out of his down-fall either, just kind of seems like an inevitable outcome though.

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,888
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,888
And here I was on another thread saying I hadn't heard any recent news of the Karma Bus, and along comes kaycstamper with a first-hand report...


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,463
K
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,463
Naw, I don't think it set me back...it's not much fun "going there" (I'd rather not think about that time in my life OR either of them) but I realize it's not me that fell short, it's him having serious problems and both of them with their character deficiencies. He says I was the best thing that ever happened to him and gave him everything...yep, but it's her he's with. That's okay, I sure don't want him back!


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 652
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 652
Quote
he's gone missing on her and his job


Who wants to bet he's blaming "women" in general now.


D-yr fall 06-fall 07
Separated 10/2010
Him-several affairs, last one 3/2011
Divorced filed 3/2011, final 3/2012

Formerly "Mopey".
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2013149&page=1

After a 4 yr FR, it became CLEAR to me of what you can look for in a FR. And that is the absence of POJA, and/or if your spouse tramples on your boundaries. If someone is not willing to do POJA with you, and they don't respect your boundaries, imo, the relationship is doomed.
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Quote
Sometimes, isn't it nice to just go home (alone) and enjoy the peace and quiet and freedom from drama and have your life the way you want it? There's no part of any of this that I miss.
Good for you, kay! Yep, karma bus, pure and simple.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 176
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 176
Originally Posted by kaycstamper
He says I was the best thing that ever happened to him and gave him everything...yep, but it's her he's with. That's okay, I sure don't want him back!


I can SOOO relate to this. I've heard the same, but yet there are so many other "boys" she'd rather be with. It's sad really...

Glad you're at a point where you can not be bothered by this. Kind of interesting though that OW called you. I mean was she asking for forgiveness? Looking for help? Just strange...

Last edited by itsaname; 04/13/11 11:43 AM.

BH (me): 31                  WXW: 31 (Still in the house!)
Married: Jan 2005         DS: 6 years old
DDay #1: 12 Mar 2008    Failed Recovery #1: Jun 2008 - Jun 2010
DDay #2: 28 Jun 2010     Failed Recovery #2: Aug 2010 - Sep 2010
Plan A/Limbo: Sep 2010 - 24 Jan 2011
DDay #3: 29 Jan 2011
On OM#4, that I know of...
D Filed: 11 Feb 2011
D Final: 10 Jun 2011 (still waiting on prop division & custody)

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,463
K
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,463
I guess if they weren't strange they wouldn't be WW and OW! crazy smile


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 176
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 176
Originally Posted by kaycstamper
I guess if they weren't strange they wouldn't be WW and OW! crazy smile


Touche.... laugh


BH (me): 31                  WXW: 31 (Still in the house!)
Married: Jan 2005         DS: 6 years old
DDay #1: 12 Mar 2008    Failed Recovery #1: Jun 2008 - Jun 2010
DDay #2: 28 Jun 2010     Failed Recovery #2: Aug 2010 - Sep 2010
Plan A/Limbo: Sep 2010 - 24 Jan 2011
DDay #3: 29 Jan 2011
On OM#4, that I know of...
D Filed: 11 Feb 2011
D Final: 10 Jun 2011 (still waiting on prop division & custody)

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5