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Hope you win! Given how smart she is about this sort of thing I doubt you will get made to pay more.

But seriously...isn't the money she is getting now enough? Is her household that expensive? Even WITH kids...


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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PSU,

Based on what you have said, and your EXW's email:

She may be getting ready to ask Social Security for an increase in support based on the speech disability.

It might behoove you to contact the speech therapist at your child's school - before you go to court - and check into what has been happening with your child's case.

You might get some information that will help you.

SB


Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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As allways, rooting and praying for you PSU

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Ok. PSU bud, here's my take.

Get PI and have your wxw's bank records obtained. My bet is she is in debt and in poor financial condition, hence her push for possibly dd's money for a disability and also for the increase in cs.

If you can show it is PURELY financial, her motivator, and shoot holes in her story AGAIN, you'll walk away from this.

Imho, I'd go on the offensive against her big time. I'd sue HER for CS, and petition the judge for MORE time with your child. And while that PI is at it..I'd find out if she is skanking around, which makes her AN UNSUITABLE PARENT.

Document every stupid move she makes. All her combative efforts. And find out if she has tried to make your daughter say something against you or if she is planting ideas, b/c then that would also show her an unfit parent too.

I say re expose her, but in a different way this time. Financially and morally. Send her away cryin' from the courthouse! Go PSU go!!!

Geez I hate entitled waywards.


Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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Originally Posted by peachyisback
..Geez I hate entitled waywards.

Yeah, I was starting to think that too peachy about you.. rotflmao

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Psubiker, glad for the update. You have been in my mind last week.

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PSB, great to hear from you. That's awesome about the trip. You made some GREAT memories for your kiddos.

I still think your WW still holds the title in the MB Wayward's Hall of Shame" (along with a few others). You have been an amazing man to hold up through all of her stuff. And this upcoming hearing, just more of her stuff. I agree with SB and you, this is all about the $$ for her. Is she still with the leech OM?

Don't be a stranger!


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Originally Posted by peachyisback
Ok. PSU bud, here's my take.

Get PI and have your wxw's bank records obtained. My bet is she is in debt and in poor financial condition, hence her push for possibly dd's money for a disability and also for the increase in cs.

If you can show it is PURELY financial, her motivator, and shoot holes in her story AGAIN, you'll walk away from this.

Imho, I'd go on the offensive against her big time. I'd sue HER for CS, and petition the judge for MORE time with your child. And while that PI is at it..I'd find out if she is skanking around, which makes her AN UNSUITABLE PARENT.

Document every stupid move she makes. All her combative efforts. And find out if she has tried to make your daughter say something against you or if she is planting ideas, b/c then that would also show her an unfit parent too.

I say re expose her, but in a different way this time. Financially and morally. Send her away cryin' from the courthouse! Go PSU go!!!

Geez I hate entitled waywards.

1. No need to get her financial information - I'm three years out and want to get on with my life. Plus, alimony and property division is done.

2. DD has a speech issue, however, she just BARELY qualifies for speech therapy at school. She may try to get SS disability for DD but then she will lose some child support from me.

3. Honestly, I like our current custody arrangement and while exWW is a bona fide Nut Job, the kids like living with her too. In our first custody hearing, the judge acknowledged she was a nut job too. I know she bad mouths me to the kids - school teachers and the school counselor have told me that. Since I have the kids half the time, it hasn't really affected the kids. They avoid me and stay with their mother when we both are at events, but, when they are with me, it is pretty clear the know what's going on and just give their mother lip service when she starts hating on me.

4. Neither one of us has any chance in hades of changing the shared custody at this point. It's the state standard, we have been doing it for three years, and it's been less than two years since the judge's order upholding it. To change it, either one of us would have to prove to the court that the children are in physical danger and keeping the current arrangement would significantly damage the children's emotional well being. That's not happening because by all objective measures the kids are doing as well as could be expected. That's also the meat of my case - reinforce how well the kids are doing in school.


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There's a real burden of proof on her to show the judge that there is a real benefit to the kids to change the current arrangement.

I also understand why you don't fight for more time. I'm still in massive debt from my fight and see no need to get into more debt and my WXW and I live in relative peace with little trouble between us.

Granted, your WW is a nightmare worse than mine.

What ever happened to POSOM? Is he still in the picture?

Those kids will rebel against her for the way she bad mouths you. Keep doing what you're doing. Don't stoop to her level and just focus on the kiddos.

If your arrangment works, then great. How will it work with extra curricular stuff for the kids? Is that a big challenge? How far are you from them?

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Wasn't the OM the main reason your WW got so militant, HTLD, or is that someone else's OM I am thinking of?


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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Originally Posted by lousygolfer
Really, I do not think that there is anything for SB to decipher here.

Stupid is, as stupid does.

Its not like she is trying to say something between the lines, or infer something else from what she said. She is just dumb.

My take.

LG


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Who was it that said 'do not attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity'?


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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If XWW receives SS didability for herself, doesn't she also recieve money for the kids? When I received SS disability, my dependent child also recieved a check and I was married with a working spouse. I had a friend who was divorced from a man on SSD and he was not required to pay CS because the child received a check from his disability. Judge said it would be double dipping. This was years ago and the rules may have changed, but you might want to look into it.


Marriages don't fail, people do. (And I don't recall who said it)
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What about posom?

Did the legal action, I think is was CS case, from one state get transfered over to the new state?

What was the result?

And, is POSOM still in WW life?

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Originally Posted by PSUBIKER
My response? I email her a custody agreement that outlines our current week to week and holiday schedule.

rotflmao

Perfecto !

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Originally Posted by PSUBIKER
After a two year period, you can still change custody but the burden of proof is a little lower - she just has to show that the benefits of the move outweigh the drawbacks. Again, she would need a custody evaluator. Also after two years, compliance with orders is a huge factor. She has 4 contempt findings against her since the last order was entered.

sheesh, she just never gives up, does she? Glad to hear things are otherwise going well with you and you got back safely from your trip. I was looking at the MB photos last night and saw your little daughter, the cutest kid I have ever seen! Good to see you, PSU. smile


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I happen to agree om the stupid part, but they still can be dangerous.

I remember a Gen. Contractor who had a pet chimanzee. The pet lit the house on fire with a book of matches, copying the adults.

Your well loved here PSU, and hope your doing well as you are handling the situation that your heart somehow got you into a long time ago.
You are not alone, as I have adult children whom I still worry about, because of late WW influence on them.

Hang in thier bro

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Originally Posted by helpthelostdads
There's a real burden of proof on her to show the judge that there is a real benefit to the kids to change the current arrangement.

I also understand why you don't fight for more time. I'm still in massive debt from my fight and see no need to get into more debt and my WXW and I live in relative peace with little trouble between us.

Granted, your WW is a nightmare worse than mine.

What ever happened to POSOM? Is he still in the picture?

Those kids will rebel against her for the way she bad mouths you. Keep doing what you're doing. Don't stoop to her level and just focus on the kiddos.

If your arrangment works, then great. How will it work with extra curricular stuff for the kids? Is that a big challenge? How far are you from them?

I learned from the original custody hearing two years ago that this judge is very, very, very hesitant to change custody when the parents originally agree to it.

The kids currently go to school in the town we lived in when we were married. I live about 12 miles north of where the kids go to school (15 minute drive). ExWW lives about 60 miles south of where the kids go to school in a different state. ON the days exWW has the kids, she lives at a friend's three bedroom house with her friend, her friend's 11 year old daughter, and the friend's 40 year old brother in the school district.

The reason why I say it is hard to change an order is that living at the friend's house on her days and the rest of the time at her real house much further away was signed off by our judge. Yes, it is a FUBAR'd arrangement but I don't have much ammo to do any type of protest because objectively the kids are doing really well in school.

Yes, exWW is still with POSOM. He isn't going anywhere - he's a parasite who found a host who feels he can do no wrong. Somehow he has her convinced that she needs him.


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Your xWW has to justify her decisions. Why should she go through the motions without having a partner?

More to the point, you dropped a loser without boundaries, how is your social life now?


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Originally Posted by imagine
Your xWW has to justify her decisions. Why should she go through the motions without having a partner?

More to the point, you dropped a loser without boundaries, how is your social life now?

The custody case is going to get ugly (for her)

My social life is good! I go out a lot - I play a lot of free bar poker. Keeps my mind sharp.

In the YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS S^&# UP DEPARTMENT:

I decided to do a quick search of the Maryland Court Docket and found a couple of nice gems:

1. On Nov 18, 2010, POSOM was arrested for 2nd degree assault and Alcoholic Bev - Endangerment. He was aquited. What is ironic is exWW filed her custody mod on 11/16, and filed a complaint with Division of Family services on 12/9 that I was abusing and neglecting the kids.

2. On Aug 11, POSOM was pulled over for driving with a suspended license from his back child support. He was driving exWW's car.

My project for next week is get the court docs from the assault - it's one more brick in the wall against xWW. All it does is shoot holes in her arguement the kids aren't safe around me.



Me BH 35 WW 36
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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