Almostdied,

that is the first step and you should be proud of yourself that you could even do that, not all waywards see the light right away........
now stay here and read about what your next step should be if you want to stay in the marriage, first you have to decide that, if you do then get to work, let the past be in the past and look at today and tomorrow and how you can make choices to make it better for your family.....
I think you ask the mods to change your name to something more positive and start there as where your new life will start.......a marriage you both can be happy in, full of love and forgiveness........
Life usually changes when you hit bottom this may have been it for you.......
This is your chance........don't destroy anymore of yourself or your husband......
you made a mistake

May I ask you where I used the God's name in vain?

Here's what I'm reading here...

"You don't understand how much I'm hurt... My affair was not that bad and he made a bigger deal out of it than it was".

What I hear here is "ME ME ME" That really in your heart, you are unrepentant. You are mad because your actions drove him to God? You aren't grateful for that? Shame on you. God took what YOU meant for evil and turned it to good.

By the way, you shamed yourself when you violated what God had joined together (you and your husband). You brought shame on the family. He brought your sin to light. Evil men love darkness and hate the light because their deeds are done in darkness. Your deeds were evil and you acted in an evil way... These are the words recorded by the apostle john in his gospel. Hon, you aren't having a divine epiphany here. You are justifying your actions and twisting scripture. Go read the book of Hosea. Heck read most of the old Testament and see how God exposed the shame of Israel for their spiritual adultery. He used it to change their heart.

Hos 2:10 Now I will uncover her lewdness in the sight of her lovers, and no one shall rescue her out of my hand.

Are you interested in anything other than telling us your opinion about exposure? Is that your sole reason for posting?

Do you want to recover your marriage? Do you want to re-build your family?


AM

This is like saying

'officer, it wasn't me speeding, it was my car'

Marriage Builders takes all threats of suicide very seriously. If you feel suicidal, please immediately call the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK or go online to http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

BYW, you can change your own screen name to something more positive when you are ready to work on recovering what you did to your marriage.

We really do want to help you and your husband to have a wonderfull marriage.

I understand and see that most of you on here are the victims on infidelity. I don't know if you read all of my post but in my first marriage my ex husband has multiple affairs and it is a long story but I vowed I would never do something so destructive...I am now guilty of what I swore I WOULD never be. My ONLY point of sharing my story...IS THAT YOU GO TO PRAYER...and THINK about how your wife/husbands heart is...You love them and that is why you WANT to shame them...I do understand that part...and I must tell you that I had ended it the night before he sent all of this out...I had went to the OMs house I had never been in it. When I walked in I knew it was NOT what I wanted. Granted I did not have God move me like he did after my husband exposed it and who knows I might have returned...my only point to bring light of this...I almost committed suicide..what would have my husband said to my children..yes your mommy committed adultery and now she also committed the worst act of all killing herself...I am NOT BLAME SHIFTING>>>I know my actions where direct result of his...my ONLY point here is to PRAY about who you decided to expose it and THINK about how the other may take the shame and humiliation of what she or he has done...that is all. And another thing to take into consideration as well and I am at prayer for this and I know God is moving my heart...but how do I stand next to my husband when we are outside of our home and we live in a smaller town and he did send this to EVERYONE/EVERY facet of my life...How do I feel comfortable in my own skin next to him - knowing...a) what I did and b) I know the other person knows too...This will be the one thing that either bounds us or destroys us I fear...so please pray for my direction on that.

So if I have it right

you ALMOST committed suicide
But you DID have an affair

you ALMOST gave the affair up, probably would have - eventually
But you DIDN'T before exposure

you ALMOST admit you are at fault
but you DO find fault that your husband told people of YOUR behaviour

you ALMOST think the marriage will be ok eventually
But you DO want your husband to apologise for HIS actions before you decide

I ALMOST think your hubby should divorce you and find a faithful woman who can honour him and love him
But you MAY end up being that woman - one day

Just a suggestion, why don't you book you and your husband into marriage counselling here with the Harleys and find out if you CAN be that woman.

Your choice just like it was to have the affair, except this one may make you proud one day by having taken it.

Read Romans.

There's plenty in there about people who scream about their religion and yet don't live by the law.

Humility and quiet prayer and reflection are what's in order for you.

So throwing God's name around and discussing His will after you committed adultery removes any credibility you have on the matter.

Is it using his name in vain? Not for me to judge.

But instead of focusing on God's will, etc, focus on you and what you can do to heal your H's pain.

You have absolutely zero comprehension right now of the immense amount of pain you've caused him.

Want a clue? The pain of infidelity and the magnitude of the betrayal has been compared to rape. You have emotionally raped your husband and you need to be focusing on your actions and his pain.

If you feel suicidal, please call 911 and get help for your problems. This thread is locked.