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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
I NEVER, to this day, have told my husband how I know I what I knew. I just told him I know you did this and that, giving him just enough to know that I knew but not enough to give away my resources. When he asked how I knew, I told him that was none of his business. It did the trick and nipped it in the bud without giving away my source.

I told my husband I am watching EVERYTHING.

Haha. Good to know. That's how I will approach it too, should the need arise. wink

Originally Posted by MelodyLane
It is also a good idea to have back up spy resources, such as spyware on his phone. That will give you text messages, websites visited and some have a built in GPS. You don't want to have all your eggs in one basket in case your spouse goes further underground.

Hmm. He doesn't have a smart phone. As a matter of fact, it's about the dumbest phone out there. It doesn't have any bells or whistles, as he loathes the phone as it is, and technology is something he has absolutely no interest in. I do check his phone calls on it (he has yet to figure out how to erase them), and our cell phone bill, since I am the one that sees it, and he has no unusual calls at all -- just me, the kids, and his relatives.

He has no texting or web browsing on it at all. The phone doesn't even support a web browser and he doesn't have a texting plan. We get charged per text if he sends or receives one, and we have never had a charge on our bill yet, except once, a long time ago, which was a test text that I sent to myself when I first got him the phone. I have been trying to get him to "get with it" and get an iPad and SmartPhone, but he wants nothing to do with either (I have both). So glad now that he isn't interested. I will DEFINITELY not be encouraging it in the future. The only reason he even carries the phone is because I make him, so I can get a hold of him in an emergency. I think he only uses about 30-60 minutes a month in calls on it, most of the time, and they are always with me, it seems. I don't think he is aware of prepaid throw away phones, although he might be. I did check his car and briefcase for one and found nothing. I know for a fact that he wouldn't get a phone to do all the web browsing, texting, etc. with. He's too cheap and wouldn't be able to figure it out on his own anyway...LOL.

I'm curious, as I see you are 9 years recovered. Do you still check up on your FWW? I am thinking this is something I will have to do long term, if only for peace of mind for myself, even when it gets boring and what not.

Last edited by workingonitnow; 12/06/11 01:05 AM.
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Originally Posted by workingonitnow
[
I'm curious, as I see you are 9 years recovered. Do you still check up on your FWW? I am thinking this is something I will have to do long term, if only for peace of mind for myself, even when it gets boring and what not.

It's actually been more like 10 years now, but yes I do check occasionally. It's great for my peace of mind. I don't have to worry because I know what is going on.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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On the radio on Friday, Dr. Harley said to keep checking until you are bored. smile


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Originally Posted by markos
On the radio on Friday, Dr. Harley said to keep checking until you are bored. smile

Genius !

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Originally Posted by markos
On the radio on Friday, Dr. Harley said to keep checking until you are bored. smile
My H is soooo boring! Thank God! laugh


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Hmm. A couple of weeks into it and nothing! Still boring as heck.

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Originally Posted by workingonitnow
Hmm. A couple of weeks into it and nothing! Still boring as heck.
Question: What have you been doing with your H in the meantime? Have you read the concepts here? Have the two of you been working on UA time and ENs?

And what's going on with the deal where he's asking women to send nude pics? Has that been addressed?

I would suggest that you go to the Surviving an Affair forum and start a thread and tell us more. I'm suggesting SAA because he has in engaged in a form of infidelity, even without a physical woman in front of him.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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