Did you ask her to marry you?

Yes. I even tried to set up an elopetion...

I suppose her lack of follow up should have been a clue a long time ago.

and she said no? or yes? It is unclear from your post.

She did say yes. But never committed to a date...and didn't take me up on the offer of eloping.

There were many dreamy type discussions...just no follow through.

before or after you moved in together?

Way before we moved in together. May 1st it was.

I would call her mother and tell her it is not working out and you need the gf to move out....ask the mother if she can assist you in this.

Just trying to keep the timeline straight. You met her last Decemberish through Craigslist (your ad or hers?), asked her to marry you May 2011, set her up rent-free in August with no plans to actually marry.

I hope you do back off this and re-start without the heady Craigslist girl crush.

Frankly, with this whole thing starting on Craigslist and the mother's involvement as 'counselor', I think this guy is being fleeced for everything they can get without legal papers.

Where did she live before? Did she have a job? Where is the children's father?

She lived in a very small town with no jobs...child support stopped in September for some reason not known to me...

Who did she live with? Why don't you find out about CS?

I'm betting its being banked.

If CS was enough to support her before you came along, she is now 4 months ahead and will be fine.

You've been suckered, I'm afraid.

Who's ad on Craigslist?

Major red flags going off....I believe she is a using him in a huge way and he needs to get her out.

Talk to her mother.
Talk to the landlord
Tell if her if she doesn't get out you will sue her in small claims for her unwillingness to pay her part of the rent..

Do SOMETHING for Pete's Sake.

A few thoughts:

Plan your daughter's next visit elsewhere. Go to a hotel (with suites so your daughter can have a private sleep space). Or spend your waking time away from the house together. Discover how much better you and your DD feel, and you'll find the determination "to do what must be done". At a minimum your DD gets the kind of visit she wants and deserves.

While you are sorting out the lease, stop paying for expenses you don't have a legal obligation for. Cable, internet, groceries ( eat elsewhere), etc. Remove your personal property that may be making staying comfortable for gf and company. Does the tv that is keeping you awake belong to you? Only phone you should pay for is your own and DD cell phones.

Go to a hotel for a night to get sme sleep.

Discuss with landlady if you can pay the lost rent over time at an affordable rate if you break the lease and she doesn't find a new tenant. She has an obligation to mitigate the loss by seeking a new tenant. Promising to pay your obligation at an affordable rate will very likely forestall legal action.

Well it is done. My pent up resentments came out as rage on Friday. My partner is gone. Her daughter will be moving back in with her father...and my partner on her mother's couch.

Say what you want. This wasn't simply a heady crush.

We were madly in love...madly. Breaking up with her is the most horrible experience of my life. We were simply broken enough still to not be able to make things work out as we wanted.

Now we shall see if my daughter comes back.

No not at all. CS was already sporadic and not nearly what she should have received.

I've only been suckered by our combined lack of know how.

How do you know this? Did she call Children's Services IN YOUR PRESENCE to find out why she wasn't getting her court-ordered child support?

It doesn't matter. I trust her...still, with almost anything. I just couldn't take some of my top boundaries being tromped on.

My daughter is her now...that is what I shall focus on.

And honestly, it was the blending of very different children that ultimately signed the death warrant.

Actually it is the lack of communication skills that signed the warrant...it was issues with how to deal with children that threw up the biggest challenges.

Just read the whole thing...when you have had some time to reflect, think about what went right and what went wrong in this relationship. Seems like you believed what you wanted to believe and didn't believe her actions. I think you wanted to feel in love and moved too fast as far as reality (paying bills, blending families)...

On the bright side, you have not irreversibly damaged your relationship with DD and you did not get too sunk in to this relationship.