I must agree with your thread title.
You've ruined your life.
You've ruined several lives.
People ~~~ THIS is why adultery is a sin. It ruins lives/souls/children/families/dignity/goodness ..... etc etc etc.
Sin always feels good. At first.
that's why i need your help how i get him to come back I'm not ready for a life without him i miss him every day i have tried to use the marriage builders principles but how do i apply them if he's not living with me please please help me thank you for reading.
Your question is worded in a very selfish
way. Did you notice?
But, anyway, let's discuss what options you do have. OK?Let's remain practical and try to avoid excessive sentimentalization as you develop a plan of action.
1. There are no guarantees
that anything you do will revive your dead marriage.
If you only want a 'sure thing' I'm certain any plan will fail.
You go into this committed to doing your best, regardless of the outcome .... which you cannot control.
2. Avoid lovebusters
. Sounds simple. Not so simple to put into practice when a person is very upset, as you are. No more begging/crying/pleading/sobbing/sad face/etc etc etc. All of that, ALL of that, will appear manipulative to your husband. Control yourself. If you cannot control yourself, leave his presence.
Further breast-beating will not attract your husband back to you. Such activity appears selfish and all about YOU.
3. Behave admirably
. Show respect for your husband's decision. Stop trying to 'talk' him out of his decision.
4. Take advantage of the love bank deposits
you have power to fulfill. Here is a list of the top ENs.
Honesty and Openness
Your H will allow you to meet many of these needs even if you are not residing together.
Do this without questioning the outcome.
Do this without expectation that he will reciprocate.
Do this without measuring his response.
Do this BECAUSE IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
Even if you eventually divorce, you will never regret doing your best without complaint and without trying to control the outcome.Control yourself.
If you do not, you have no chance at success.
WELCOME TO MARRIAGE BUILDERS