Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 20 of 22 1 2 18 19 20 21 22
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
W
wle2 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
I thought I would share some of the good things we have discovered. DW had to change her work schedule. She now alternates being off Friday ,Saturday and Sunday one week then Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday the following.

We started looking for new RC that we both would enjoy and found two we are really are having fun with. River fishing and antique'n.

DW loves to fish.I can fish. We negotiated and using POJA and decided that we would fish at least one day or more together but only on a river. We live near one and can have lines in the water 10 minutes after we leave the house. WE are together for the whole time, talking and having fun together.

The second one we plot out a trip to several antique stores or estate sales and spend the whole day riding together. We have a list of things we are hunting for and have to explain to our family and friends that it is the hunt with each-other that we are wanting most even though we can buy it for less on the internet.

One of the high lights of our day is our prayer time together before she leaves for work. I pray for and with her everyday. We are not there yet but have found a way to fall in love with each other again using MB. Meeting top EN's and no LB's coupled with POJA has moved us so far we amazed.

If I can stop auditioning for the lead role in One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest we will be fine. Going to the doctor this week. Working on the house to try and sale this fall.


Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,272
Likes: 2
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,272
Likes: 2
Here's your show.
Radio Clip of wle2's show


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
W
wle2 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
Thanks Brainy, You're the best!


Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 42
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 42
Since some dates are triggers to you, what do you think about updating your signature and editing anything that triggers you?

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
W
wle2 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
Originally Posted By: walrus
Since some dates are triggers to you, what do you think about updating your signature and editing anything that triggers you?


walrus,
I like it and thanks, I didn't think about this.


Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
W
wle2 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
Dw got out our copy of HN/HN and is re-reading it. She said she understands that there is nothing she can do to help me with the issue of dates per Dr. Harley's response but she says she wants continue meeting my needs and be sure not to hurt me.

I can't get in to the doctor until after the Fourth of July holiday, but since I am a month away from the next trigger date I I will be Okay.

We are talking more about the house and are leaning towards the move.


Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,272
Likes: 2
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,272
Likes: 2
Originally Posted By: wle2
Thanks Brainy, You're the best!

You're very welcome, friend.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,272
Likes: 2
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,272
Likes: 2
Here's your wife's show. I tried to find her thread but couldn't. Didn't she start a thread of her own (MEE2)?

Radio Clip of wle2's wife's question


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
W
wle2 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
Brainy,

She went so far as to register and set it up but never posted anything. I listed it next to her name thinking she was going to post.

The last time we talked about it she said she doesn't even remember her password and I just left it alone.

I read here everyday but she said it is too painful for her. She does listen to the radio show with me so though.


Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,272
Likes: 2
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,272
Likes: 2
Ok gotcha, thanks. What does she think of the advice the Harleys gave you two?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
W
wle2 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
She is on board with the idea and is the one that noticed my anxiety. She is relived that there is nothing she did or did not do in our recovery that triggers me.

At our church marriage conference this past weekend she was telling some of the other ladies there about MB and how we used the principles in our recovery, I thought that was awesome!

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my ....obsessive thinking laugh and believe with some help on just a couple of the bad days it will get better.


Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,432
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,432
Originally Posted By: wle2
I have been doing a lot of thinking about my ....obsessive thinking laugh and believe with some help on just a couple of the bad days it will get better.
It will always be possible for you upset yourself if you choose to indulge. I can still work myself up. I choose not to. It helps to be free from triggers. But in the final analysis, you have to stop thinking about the affair. You have to put it behind you. It is much easier to do this if you have a romantic relationship with your wife. Of course, I'm preaching to the choir, here.


me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
W
wle2 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
Does anyone remember the prison ministry Dr. Harley mentions on the radio program? Thank's My tired brain can't remember!


Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956
Likes: 1
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956
Likes: 1
I believe Dr. Harley talks about Prison Fellowship, headed by Chuck Colson, doesn't he?


Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010

Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
W
wle2 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
That's it! Thank you LongWayFromHome😊



Last edited by wle2; 10/01/14 04:09 PM.

Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
W
wle2 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
My bride and I are celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary today!

THANK YOU MB!!


Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956
Likes: 1
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956
Likes: 1
Originally Posted By: wle2
My bride and I are celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary today!

THANK YOU MB!!


Many happy congratulations on your wedding anniversary. Wishing you many more wonderfully romantic years together.
smile


Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010

Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,272
Likes: 2
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,272
Likes: 2
Originally Posted By: wle2
My bride and I are celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary today!

THANK YOU MB!!

dance2
Happy Anniversary!!!


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
You did the work.

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
W
wle2 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
Longway, Brainy thank you for the well wishes, The Road it was the hardest work I have ever done, but so worth it now.

It has stopped being work and is just how we are living our lives together. Very much in love with each other.

We had a great time together this week celebrating and she cried her eyes out when she heard Joyce wish us a happy anniversary on the radio program Friday, she didn't know I had written.

On the actual day my bride had to work so I put on a tie, picked up rose and meet her for lunch at her workplace. She was one happy Lady that afternoon, I was one happy guy that evening!!

This new MB marriage we have now is far and away the best we have had and we are continuing to work on our weak points. Getting a handle on my thought life was a chore in the end we opted not to go with medication. We were able to get through the dates by focusing on each other. Considering a move also has us occupied.

Not slipping back into old habits is our fear and we both check our selves to keep that from happening by regularly checking in with the other, IC and RH Something we used to never do.

I feel extremely blessed to have gotten here , we both feel as though we can say that now we are... Fully Recovered!


Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
Page 20 of 22 1 2 18 19 20 21 22

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 16 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Ella Paradis, Lethabo, Livn1dayAtaTime, widup, Reggg
71,683 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,528
Posts2,322,563
Members71,682
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5