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#2582716 01/08/12 08:21 PM
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For me love is really blind because when I got married I am a battered wife and I keep loving my husband because I strong believe that my husband really change and I don't want that my children belong to the broken family... In this case is it ok that I have to give chance to myself that I am going to be strong for the sake of my family or I am going to give up for my own happiness?

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Originally Posted by lovestations
For me love is really blind because when I got married I am a battered wife and I keep loving my husband because I strong believe that my husband really change and I don't want that my children belong to the broken family... In this case is it ok that I have to give chance to myself that I am going to be strong for the sake of my family or I am going to give up for my own happiness?
Lovestation, if you are an abuse victim you need to get out of your current situation. Do you need help getting away from your husband and his abuse?


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted by lovestations
For me love is really blind because when I got married I am a battered wife and I keep loving my husband because I strong believe that my husband really change and I don't want that my children belong to the broken family... In this case is it ok that I have to give chance to myself that I am going to be strong for the sake of my family or I am going to give up for my own happiness?

You are on the wrong forum.
I suggest you make a call to the Harley's radio program with this question.
They will be happy to help you.

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First, email your questions to Joyce at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. Then, she will respond to you within a day by return email, and give you a toll-free number and specific time to call Dr. Harley directly during the show when he will answer your questions about marriage

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Your thread title makes me wonder about your maturity level:

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Is it Love is Blind?

Is love abusive?

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Why are you here, Lovestation? How can we help you?


D-Day 2-10-2009
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Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted by lovestations
For me love is really blind because when I got married I am a battered wife and I keep loving my husband because I strong believe that my husband really change and I don't want that my children belong to the broken family... In this case is it ok that I have to give chance to myself that I am going to be strong for the sake of my family or I am going to give up for my own happiness?

He won't change unless drastic steps are taken to change him. I understand loving a spouse who is not loving back, but your health and life are in danger if you stay. Also, it is not love to let him continue in this behavior. Can you go be with family or friends? A women's shelter?

CV


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Married 22+ years
3 young adult children


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I think you should call a local Womens Shelter or the Police Department for help if you are being physically abused. They have programs to help you.
Love doesn't have anything to do with physical abuse.

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Dr. Harley's articles to help you are here:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5505_qa.html

Read the following sections:

"Controling husband (#1 & #2)," "Angry Outbursts (#1, #2)", "Domestic Violence (#1, #2, #3)," "Abusive Marriage (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6)."

Please read them ALL (even the ones that may not apply directly, they are still chock full of information that will help you, and then give Dr. Harley a call.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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In this way I was able to express what I feel. Even I want to shout this to him, he will never understands. I want to seek advice to everyone especially to those who experienced same situation . I know, somewhere can enlighten me.

Thank you everyone...

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Lovestations

Did you get a chance to read any of the articles posted to you?

Physical, verbal. or mental abuse have no part in love and are the direct opposite.

Do you need help leaving your situation?

nESRE


M 29 yrs
DS 28 DD 18
Me 53 FWH FBS
MTA signed 5/11/2011
D final 5/16/2011

Free.... and going wherever the big guy wants me to go......
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If your children grow up seeing you tolerate abuse there is a good chance they will also tolerate it in their adult lives.

Is that what you want to teach your children?

nESRE


M 29 yrs
DS 28 DD 18
Me 53 FWH FBS
MTA signed 5/11/2011
D final 5/16/2011

Free.... and going wherever the big guy wants me to go......
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lovestaions-

I am writing to you as someone who has had a sister and a best friend (since high school more than 30 years ago) who have both experienced domestic violence in their marriages. One has recovered her M, one has finally filed for D.

In both cases, I have supported them. My friend has recovered her M. But what it took was for her to be willing to say "I'm done." It took a long time. It took her oldest son intervening in one of their arguments where he got physical for her to realize that she wasn't protecting her kids from the DV. But, she still wasn't ready to walk. She enrolled in a course for battered women that met at the local police station. When she was waiting, the receptionist asked her what she was doing there. Well, since she wasn't court ordered to be there, she said "I'm here for the women's group but I'm not sure if I should be because no charges were filed." The receptionist asked: "Did he use violence against you?" My dear friend cannot lie so she was honest.

"Yes. But there were no charges filed..." That's when the receptionist interrupted: "What makes you so special? He broke the law, charges or no charges. It's not about you."

And that's when she realized that it really wasn't about her.

There is a verse in the Old Testament that lots of people like to quote in situations like these, especially the abuser. It is Malachi 2:16. It is actually written to men, because in the Old Testament only men could file for divorce, and by the time of Malachi, they were abusing it. Most people only quote the first part of it, but I'm going to include all of it:

"I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel, "and I abhor a man covering himself with violence..."

I hope this helps in some way...


johnstwin-

"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!


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